Unrelatedness Movie(s) Review August 21, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Movies, Washington Wizards , trackback |
Yes, crass is thy name when horrible events happen … I’ll see you in hell! But, at least Mr. 50% was not injured or hopefully involved in any of what happened.
Oh yeah actually, to tie in this non-NBA non-basketball post: movie reviews! Shoot ‘Em Up (see, there’s a reason that’s up there) and Balls of Fury (it’s a sport, right?) because I somehow got to see the early screening the other day.
But not right now, I tease like so. I gots to do something for the big half of the day, so I shall returneth in mere hours to finish this filler post! Back in a flash… Update: Okay, as promised (when no one really even asked) here is my review, after the 5 meter long jump
Shoot ‘Em Up
Here’s the thing: I love gun battles in movies. It’s not so hard to imagine right, as a young adult, fancying a flick with nothing but BANG! BANG! BANG! is in my nature. List any John Woo film from HK and there’ll be at least 10 scenes involving shoot outs. That’s why Boondock Saints is so oddly popular with any college kid you meet—the story was meh, but gun fights! Wee!
There’s a problem though. I still need at least some coherent idea of a story right? Shoot ‘Em Up lacked that basic idea that we should care about what’s going on in the movie. Yes, fighting with guns is fun times, but gimme a reason to care.
Basically it boils down to a scrapped together plot that enough life so that guns and Clive Owen can occupy the space. It ends up being gimmicky without the benefit that the film was made to be a parody or homage to classic gunning movies.
Balls of Fury
Again, another wasted opportunity. This movie comes from the same guys that brought us Reno 911, which I love. But somehow they came up with a bland comedy that just seemed like a various failed jokes patched together at once. And they weren’t outlandish wild risky comedy bits that failed, but a worse sin: just scratching at the surface of trying to be funny.
Dude, the movie had Christopher Walken in frickin hilarious feminine Asian attire but the jokes were never taken to that level where you wished they had. It wasn’t just “playing it safe”, because if that were the case, then at least I’d retell a funny scenario or too… but that they weren’t even memorable is the problem.
And jesus, if you’re going to do another “Chinese Master/sensei teaching a gwei lo” the art of “whatever the premise asks for” at least do something innovative. What we had was everything you could predict just by the sheer number of parody of Karate Kid et la out there.
But, I guess the one saving grace was having Maggie Q in it. *heart*
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