NBA Physics Vol. I November 29, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Orlando Magic, Photoshopery , 1 comment so far |
(Wow! You won’t believe this — and you really shouldn’t — Monsieur René Descartes has some NBA thinkings that he wanted to share over here at The Unrelatedness. By jove, who am I to complain! Take it away Re-Re…)
Allo mes amis! What is sup friends? Long time no talk. With me being totally dead and all. Well, I caught the Orlando Magic vs. Seattle SuperSonics deal last night and OHOY! What did I notice? The man-beast himself (not the Devil Beast that tormented the 16th century France mind you, we — Locke, Hume and myself after some sips of rum — totally fucked him up back in my day) DWIGHT HOWARD.
You see, Howard posted a monster 39, 16 and 5 blocks. That’s not just scientific and philosophically bliss, that’s the goddamn nectar from the angels. Thus is my Dwight Howard Proof on the Existence of Grabbing All The Rebounds While Dropping Forty:
And even though the Sonics were on a mad hunt to try and upset a big lead, Kevin Durant saw something that he must learn or else perish forever: Objects will gravitate towards larger masses. Thus KD’s futile attempts to go at Dwight for a layup will cause the ball to be gravitated into Dwight’s hands. It’s that simple. You might as well just give the other team the ball, 2 points and maybe a hot stone massage.
I don’t know what that last part means. I’m seeing a shrink about this… his name’s Freud, any good?
Next time on Descartes’ Disseminations: How the specialists shooters, specifically white guys, have a shooting percentage proportional to the hair gel they use. Truth!
WotS: Kobe Getting Rusty? November 26, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Word on the Streetz , 2 comments |
As LeBron is putting a couple string of triple doubles, Kobe missed a crucial game tying free throw at home. Word on the Streetz wants to know, based on that one play in the dying seconds of their 13th game in November against an Eastern squad, DOES THIS MEAN KOBE’S DONE?…
 Joan Sheen Linguist “Yes.”  Leroy Rifkin Artist “No.”  Dr. Tolsky Doctor “??” |
A Star(bury) Is Burns November 22, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Hype Podcasts, Hype Tube, NBA TOONS, New York Knicks, Videos , add a comment |
Whilst I am still a little pressed on “real” “life” projects (no fucking consideration for my blogs eh? bastards!). Here are some things I have done elsewhere which might be of interest:
– Thanks to the MLB geniuses over at the FanHouse a couple weeks back for introducing this, we have the CHRONIC(what!)CLES of Marbury. My entry is deep in the Italy wing here. But really, I’m just going to call it: this whole thing is the Best Comedy Movie of the Year.
– BETUS apparently has a sports podcast, makes sense. I was invited to slur and mutter nonsense last week. Fun was had by all, (thanks D).
– Um… BallHype has a new theme. Woo!
Quick Picks For Tonight November 20, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Unrelatedness , add a comment |
It became clear to me, as I was drifting into another world while thinking of an opening sentence for my paper, that my domain name fees will be coming up shortly. So, I propose a union: my correct point margins for tonights games in exchange for some click action of some sponsors. Whadaysay?
Spurs 110 – Hawks 88
Cavs 97 – Bucks 94
Lakers 103 – Pacers 102
Wizards 115 – 76ers 108
Warriors 99 – Knicks 90
Mavericks 93 – Raptors 91
Nuggets 106 – Bulls 94
Suns 107 – Kings 100
BTW, you must check these: I want to marry Darvin’s brain. And the fine folks from Adidas sent over the link to GILTV, which has some fucking hilarious bits (YouTubed also by the Ham Fam). The only question is, — since Darvin pointed it out, it could’ve been tighter with writers that aren’t on strike — why didn’t Gil ask me to write some of these? I WOULD HAVE DONE IT FOR FREE! And by free, I mean $16 million dollars!
Helping TheHype’s domain fees out: NBA All Star tix, NBA Tickets at Ticket City
The Unrelatedness Poll: How To Get Chris Webber Back November 19, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Trades , add a comment |
Ah CWebb, the world was a better when you threw no-look behind the back passes to a cutting Vlade. But that was then… and now, well, the step is a bit slow and passes less crisp. But you know what? I’ll still have you on my team.
Loading …Magic Not After Webber [HOOPSWORLD]
Turkish Türkoglu Triming Turkey
Posted by TheHype in Orlando Magic , add a comment |
Say that nine times fast, and backwards. That sound you hear is my mind being blown. Which would make you crazy, since there’s no way you could’ve heard that!
WotS: Mess With The Bulls, You…Probably Beat Them
Posted by TheHype in Chicago Bulls, Word on the Streetz , add a comment |
Bulls aren’t winning. What up? Word on the Streetz says what up…
 Miriam Vance Financial Advisor “It’s because Scott Skiles utters just one thing over and over again during games: ‘head bands! head bands!’ It’s so sad.”  Jeff Klein Art Curator “Chicago wants to keep it real that’s all. They just want the people to know they can lose like the rest of us.”  Richard Campbell Fencer “HALP! Wallace iz in da paint, missin ur shotz!” |
What’s In A Nickname? November 17, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Photoshopery , 1 comment so far |
Gut-check thought on this one? “Eh.”
While You Were Slapping: Boston Can’t Be Stopped November 15, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Boston Celtics , 1 comment so far |
Lucky Number Seven: That’s seven in a row to start the season for the Celtics. And they can easily finish the rest of November with a perfect record — Cleveland would give them a “challenge” if only for having the rep of going to the Finals last July, other than that, they’re horrible. Lakers I anticipate might upset because they’re just cowboys like that.
Welcome to Miami, Thank You For Visiting Miami: I can’t believe this team got a ring two years ago. The past 4 champs are always still top tier (Spurs, Detroit and 00 era Lakers) years after their Finals appearances while the Heat keep thinking that magical fairy dust that is “We’ll Turn It Up Later” will work. It so won’t. See exhibit A: losing to a winless, young Seattle team.
Like Clockwork: T-Mac tweaked something that isn’t anything damaging — in fact, he usually plays outta his mind after he comes back, however, if we can bottle his yearly tweaks and bumps into lottery ticket luck, I’d be $25 richer.
In Other News: Truth About It dot net is making me think I’m out of a job with some rad-manovic ’shops. But as soon as I saw a The Wire reference, alls is good in the world.
2010: Phil Jackson Fined For Calling Team ‘Crybabies’
Posted by TheHype in Los Angeles Lakers, NBA At Large, Poop Culture , add a comment |
NEW YORK (AP) December 2nd, 2010 — The NBA has spoken with the Los Angeles Lakers about a meany name calling that coach Phil Jackson made Tuesday night’s game in San Antonio.
The Spurs made 13 3-pointers in their 107-92 victory, and Jackson was asked if too much whining and puoting was leading to bad chemistry with the team.
“We call this a Rugrats game, because there’s so much “waaaaaah” and “waaaaaaaah,” Jackson said. “It was one of those games where the players were just like crybabies. Literally, they were like crawling on the floor drooling. At one point, someone asked to be fed! They guys looked like they wanted to be mothered,” Phil continues, “I mean, what a bunch of little tots.”
The 1998 film, which won three awards, depicts babies crawling around and basically being babies — in cartoon form..
“The remarks are in poor taste, and the Lakers have assured us such remarks will not occur in the future,” league spokesman Brian McIntyre said.
NBA: Jackson’s remark in poor taste [SI.com]
Jackson says sorry, but in another humorous way – AWESOME [Yahoo!]
