New Year Resolutions December 28, 2007
Posted by TheHype in NBA At Large , trackback |
Resolutions are stupid. No one changes, ever. Tell ‘em Jet! And I’m not just projecting Mr. Oh-Look-At-Me-And-My-Psychology-Degree. But everyone makes them for pure vanity and the tiny glimmer that you’re promising yourself something. Here’s to your hope and dreams lads and lasses:
Satan Riles:
My resolution will be to admit that I can’t coach since I’ve made horrible offseason non-moves. To one up the resolution, I’ll force myself to go through a rebuilding movement by actually standing by and not “take a leave of absence”
I’ll stop reminding everyone that we won the championship just 2 years ago, when, IT’S BEEN TWO YEARS AND MANY INJURIES.
Kevin Garnett
My resolution will be to change… nothing. The way things are going right now is what’s up. That’s real talk. This is the best situation ever, no need to screw it up right?
The only test will be when we face the Spurs — then maybe I’ll fade in the fourth quarter and go un-clutch. But hey, I have two other closers on my team. No change needed. Real talk.
Harry the Hawk
My resolution will be to stop eating small children. I know, I know, I said the same thing last year, and the suits have told me adamantly that this is a no-no… but DAMN, they are delicious!
I’ll also be helping the Hawks towards a playoff push by perhaps punching the opposing team’s equipment manager in the nuts. That’ll show them who’s boss.
Marlo Stanfield
I think my resolution will be to try and stop killing so many people. But you know, it’s so hard!
I just want to be THE man and there’s no other alternative. Man, this resolution will be hard to keep. Shooting people in the face is just my thang, but I guess we all have to change. We’ll see.
Dr. House
I’M IN PAIN.
Like I’m going to give up the drugs, pffft. Look, what’s worse? Being a drug addict while saving lives, or being a DEAD drug addict and saving NO lives? Yeah.
Fine, my resolution will be to include the original cast members a little bit more lest we forget they ever existed.
Lots of snow
My resolution will be to try and come out less. I know, I’m sorry I’m sorry. The only people that like me are snowboarders and skiers and everyone in the city wants to kill me, I’m sorry.
I swear I’ll do my bestest and follow the Global Warming club and just stop. I know I’m annoying, but we can still be friends right? Like the time I made you late for work, classes and made your clothes soaking wet? Fun times!
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