Pre-Emptive Headline Puns January 30, 2008
Posted by TheHype in 2008 All Star Game, Photoshopery, Toronto Raptors , 6 comments |
It’s a scientific fact that Jamario Moon will win the dunk contest. Einstein had a wet dream about it. Just as I foresaw him getting the invite eons ago, I envision his win to be fireworks-worthy. That is why, with a little combination of the northern blogger brain power, Jeff Wong over at The Score shot over some J-Lune imagery that I’m sure the AP’s headline writers will be drooling all over.
The Moon Jumped Over the Cow
Jamario Celebrates Crown With a Mooncake
Moonwalking (NASA Edition) via E.Smitty
Not Quite How I Remembered It
Posted by TheHype in Movies, Photoshopery, Toronto Raptors , 1 comment so far |
SAMMIE: I’ve got to stop this thing!
JACK: NO! Stay above fifty!
ANNIE: We’ve got a wounded, er, injured –
JACK: You slow down and this team will explode!
(Silence)
JACK: There is a bomb with this team. If we slow down. IT’LL BLOW
JACK: If anyone tries to get off (the team via trade), it’ll blow
SAMMIE: This is great. A bomb on hightops.
JACK: Ma’am, um… sir, can you handle this bus, er, team?
SAMMIE: Sure, I can do this. It’s just like driving a really big Pinto.
JACK (not amused) : Can you handle it?
SAMMIE (sighs): I’m fine. What’s the plan? Is there a plan?
JACK (taking a cell phone out): Just for you to drive. We’re okay for now. Just stay above fifty (percent, record-wise)
SAMMIE: You’re a cop, right?
JACK: That’s right.
SAMMIE: Then I should probably tell you: I’m just taking the bus ’cause I had my driver’s license revoked.
JACK: What for?
SAMMIE: Speeding.
(Jack smiles)
SAMMIE: And stealing cats.
Catching Up With Everything In The History Of Everything January 29, 2008
Posted by TheHype in NBA At Large, Photoshopery, Site Bidness, TV Shows, Unrelatedness , add a comment |
…Which of course, means after this post, I’d be gone for another 9 and a half days. So be the fickle nature of life… and the bloody cold.
NBA: I hear Chris Paul is Superman, Batman, Voltron, Phrenium Cadmium Isotope-92 all rolled into one amazing player that is murking the entire Western Conference. The Western Conference! And his Hornets (ironically, they do NOT have horns) have been beating up on their Southwest Division brothers in the Spurs.
Oh, what? He’s not a West All-Star starter? Well then, the only emotion I can convey in response to that is to imitize The Bryon Scott Arms Folding Emotion of Anger.
Webber Is Back In The Bay-Ay: I look forward to the post game interviews. Please please Mr. Commish re-instate the Beer Drinking After Game rule. For all the jumping around the league, C-Webb still has that affect on fans, and opponents (somewhat…whenever he can jump) so it’s nice to see the whole thing come full circle.
What else? The Miami Heat is worse than my nephew’s Toddler League (and he’s only 13 months old!!) It would seem like I love to harp on the Heat (I really do) but it’s just poetic, seeing as how I started this blog so many moons ago during the 06 Finals whereby Riley and Co. were able to “overcome insurmountable obstacles”. When beating Indiana to snap a 15 game L-Streak is the best thing since winning the chip, let’s just call this team lottery worthy shall we?
The Wire: HOLY SHIT. They killed Prop Joe. You bastards. I’d say his death is worse than Butchie’s only because I’ve grown fond of his sage wisdom over the seasons.
Now that’s another incentive for Omar to get the guns blazing. Though, and I don’t know anything since I’m spoiler free, I get the sense that his invincible hit man just might fall down this last season. Paging Brother Mouzone… Paging Brother Mouzone…
In Europe, Mad Libs Writes You! January 25, 2008
Posted by TheHype in International Ball, Linkage, Photoshopery , add a comment |
Head on over to B.i.E to see the funny basketbloggers chain of hilary!
The Legend Of Shawn Marion’s Jump Shot January 21, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Phoenix Suns, Photoshopery , 4 comments |
While I am/was watching the Suns beat/get beaten by the Nets (see, I totally published this ahead of time) … the age old question of Shawn Marion’s unique jump shot comes to mind. As long as it goes in, whatever right? WRONG. Well, not wrong, per se, but my mind’s wild imagination likes to know where else mind Matrix utilize his unique techniques:
At the nursery:
At the nuclear power plant:
And of course, how can you not think about — the Ice Planet Hoth:
Shirts Vs. Skins: “Duncanstein!” January 18, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Unrelatedness, Videos , add a comment |
I’d suggest whomever watching this do so without other workers around… But be honest, we’d all react the same exact way, right? RIGHT??
DeShawn Stevenson’s 50th Birthday January 15, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Photoshopery, Washington Wizards , 2 comments |
Betcha didn’t know he’s this old, but he IS! You know… because of the beard… Too bad we can’t tie it all together now that he’s not anywhere near Mr. 50 Percent this year (though his True Shooting % is around 50) but that doesn’t matter as he totally owned the Celtics last Saturday and beat them again tonight (huge three down the stretch of the game! Truth has the live blog that’s bringing all the boys to the yard.
So good to have the back to back home and home victories. That’s right, the rare B2BH&H holy grail. Even when the Zards were down 12, the flow just was never deflated for them. As soon as they pulled within 5 with still 3mins to go, they knew they were going to win it. Oh boy oh boy… this says a lot about the Celtics too, their defense folds like a rusty tent. Ray Allen is an invisible man. And finally, Caron Butler for LEVEL 3 MVP SECRET PIMPAGE!!!!
Oh and btw, DeShawn is also a LockSmith, the guy is multi-talented I tells ya.
WotS: This Ones Goes Out To Dwight’s Baby’s Mamas January 14, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Orlando Magic, Word on the Streetz , 2 comments |
Dwight Howard is a daddy. Yay! Sincere congrats from TheHypeGuy (big fan!). Here’s hoping you don’t tomahawk the kid by accident. Word on the Streetz reacts AS IT HAPPENS…
 Lenny Wander Inventor “Wow! Unexpected! Exclamation points!”  Joan Leigh Sword Wielder “Just imagine, in 21 short years, Dwight Jr. will be able to dominate the league with the 8-time Champs the Tribeca Knicks!”  Shawn Kemp Rain Man “So…” |
Through The Wire: Ep. 2, Where Car Pranks Are Fun! January 13, 2008
Posted by TheHype in TV Shows, Unrelatedness , add a comment |
Hey Wire-Less, ha ha! Get it? Woo me! But yeah, another solid episode. That’s the way to do it Jimmy! Hobos have had the benefit of the doubt for far too long. Other, bullet form quick pick ups
• Separated at birth: WWE Mick Foley and the NA sponsor guy Walon
• Love the call back of oldy but goody quotes: “the game is rigged”, “giving a fuck when it’s not your turn to give a fuck”
• You know, I’ve read that David Simon put in that bit about the EIC at the Sun saying he wants to depict a “Dickensian” life as a jab at himself (because a lot of reviews of season 4 used the old white guy as comparison as well) But I gotta say, I zipped through S4 before even reading a single review and came to the same exact “Dickensian” thought… hell, even the seasons before that it was evident… What I’m trying to say is… I think I’m all that. BOOYA.
• Hah, this line: “I think you need context to seriously examine anything…” comes especially poignant given the recent US democratic campaign controversies surrounding Bill and Hillary Clinton’s quotes taken out of context
• OK, is it just me, but how can Marlo still be THE king of the corners when he can’t intimidate anyone for over a year? I’d think his business would’ve taken a beating because of the heavy surveillance
• Finally, is Bubbs in the 8th level of hell of scrubbing pots or something?
March 8, 2008: Yahoo Live Boxscore Hawks Vs. Heat January 11, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Atlanta Hawks, Live Blogging, Miami Heat, Photoshopery , add a comment |
Saving you the trouble… *(Comic Book Guy Voice)* Like, oh my god, the play by play is totally unrealistic. They should be in reverse chronological order. Worst. Parody. Ever.
Mulligan! [NBA.com]
Try to explain the West...
