So This Is My Future February 24, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Old School, Unrelatedness , 2 comments |
Quit ya whinin’ sissy and grab them boards! A very “awwwww” story from the New York Times that just made my Sunday.
This side of John McCain, there are still 70 year olds throwing elbows and crashing the glass because … because they just love the game.
As a fellow rec league warrior that’s been playing with the same folks year after year this gave a tear to my eye, and not just because someone threw a ball into my face.
The other week at rec-ball the old timers were playing us young whipper-snappers and damn do they still got the whoopass going. I mean everytime dude post me up he’d do the Dream Shake and get to the rim. Mind you the guy is at least 2 feet taller than me and sweaty as hell… so you know it’s easier to slip by.
But wow, I gotta imagine that’s pretty much what’s it going to be for me in 50 years, balling like I ain’t on back medication son!
Any Given Monday (NY Times)
New Orleans Hornets: A Science Fair Experiment February 21, 2008
Posted by TheHype in New Orleans Hornets, Unrelatedness , add a comment |
We knew the Hornets are on a mad run for the past month and a half. But we didn’t know, even as they beat a Jason Kidd fueled Dallas Mavericks, that they are a scientific anomaly.
Man, some of these pictures are so very Free Darko-esque that it blows my mind, after I’ve laughed 31 minutes straight. NINJA-UPDATE: Skeets’ brain is also thinking of all things Hornets Picture-y. I decree February 21st as: RANDOM HORNETS PHOTO DAY!!!
41 Hilarious Science Fair Experiments [Photo Basement]
Things To Look For Tonight: Phoenix vs. Suns February 20, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Los Angeles Lakers, Phoenix Suns , add a comment |
Shaq’s smiles for the cameras … as the action is
happening on the other end of the floorThe REAL Superman is back tonight. And fighting his old stomping grounds of the LA Lakers now as a Sun. It’s poetry is what it is.
If only Bynum is in this as well, then we’d get our money’s worth of a smackdown for the ages. God I hope to … er, god, that they match up in the Playoffs.
Here’s what you need to look out for in tonight’s game (because I won’t be watching: seriously, I’m gonna be at a pickup game… pfft, don’t look at me that way! Those legs aren’t going to work out themselves!)
* That puke you see in front of you as you see Shaq check in? That’s the realization at how ugly he looks in a PHX jersey
* Kobe will distribute like crazy up until the 3rd… that’s when he’ll want to dunk on Shaq’s nose everytime
* Nash will throw an alley-oop to Shaq in the same way as he always have for Shawn Marion — but it goes horribly wrong: Shaq totally forgot what a dunk is… and just throws it at security guard
* For once, Phil Jackson will look animated, but that could be the constipation
* For once, Mike D’Antoni will look calm and reserved, even Zen-like—oops sorry, the camera was still on Phil, ESPN just put up the wrong name caption
* Hubie Brown will say: “NOW, the ref saw it differently…” which totally means “fucking dumbass call”
* Finally, I will have blown a breakaway layup and get taunted by my teammates. It’s uncanny.
It’s Official: Western Conference — BATTLE ROYALE February 13, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Dallas Mavericks, New Jersey Nets, Trades , 3 comments |
Super breaking news! Where my breaking news can kick your f-ing breaking news’ ass!!!
I’m going to the Western Conference in a 58 team deal (yes! there are 58 teams in the Western Conference! What, you never heard of the expansion team: the Winnipeg Wheat Fields?) whereby half the teams give up 13 years of consecutive draft picks and expiring contracts that lands me to the Los Angeles Clippers.
I’ll be 61 in March, but the Clippers feel that we can WIN NOW. So what the hay, let’s do it!
Kidd traded to Dallas in latest blockbuster deal [Yahoo!]
Woah Woah Woah. Who Turned Off The Lights? February 6, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Miami Heat, Phoenix Suns, Trades , 1 comment so far |
I’m asking, because somehow, Steve Kerr got locked inside the toilet over the weekend someone and shut the lights on him. When he came out, disoriented, he said… “I need… [cough cough] I need… a limited edition movie poster of Gremlins… and oh yeah… [cough cough cough] Shaq”
WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!
Only three thing’s for sure:
1) Shaq looks horrible in orange
2) We haven’t played “Shaq” at optimum since we hacked NBA 2k4
3) The Stephen Colbert, Conan O’Brien and Jon Stewart festi-brawl was television orgasm.
Scenarios That Can Play Out Now:
The Dream Scenarios: File these under the same dreams as “getting a personal massage from Summer Glau and Autumn Reeser at the same time (hehehe Summer and Autumn…)”
• The Suns defeat the Spurs and is largely due to Shaq being the only person, er, object large enough to sustain Tim Duncan
• The Suns then meet the Lakers in the Western Conference Finals. But again, grand-papa Shaq knocks the Euro out of Gasol-ina and Kazaams the shit out of Andrew Bynum to make it a round-about-way final middle finger to the Lakers (even though every’s moved past this, but ESPN will remind us anyway)
• … that’s it
The Un-Dream Scenarios: File these next to Freddy Krueger’s hat
• Shaq can’t keep up to play more than 20mins a game, which, as the Suns lost Shawn Marion, is shitcakes
• So you lost an All-Star runner, 3 pointer and rebounder, but in return you got…someone that can share stories with Kerr about how to clean their Chip Rings.
• … that’s it… but really, can any of this be good?
Gasol A Laker, Everyone Make This Gesture February 1, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Los Angeles Lakers, Memphis Grizzlies, Trades , 5 comments |
Kobe can now finally talk about soccer with someone other than a mirror.
Let’s Get Lost Tonight, You Can Be My Black Smoke Monster Tonight
Posted by TheHype in TV Shows, Unrelatedness , add a comment |
So many questions, so little answers! Why did Hurley get off the island when he was totally like, “naw dawg, I be wif Locke son”; why didn’t Naomi cut Kate so we can be like “YES! finally”; why didn’t Manu Ginobili get an All-Star spot? And Holy Television Actors, Batman! IT’S LT. Deputy Commissioner DANIELS!
Chain of Command Hugo.
It’s all so obvious now. The Monster is Snoop and Jacob is the drug trade.
Try to explain the West...
