The Kobe Left Cheek Bleeding Cut Awards March 25, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Golden State Warriors, Los Angeles Lakers, Photoshopery, Referees , trackback |
In honor of Kobe bleeding like crazy last night, here is the inaugural Kobe Left Cheek Bleeding Cut Awards:
First up: BOB DELANEY:
He gets 5 Kobe Bleeding Cuts for blowing the call on Monta Ellis/Derek Fisher flop. I mean, one quick look at the two recent comments on here site and you can tell the Yay Area is not thrilled with the once undercover FBI agent.
You just hate when that happens, which makes us all wonder if that’s why he “quit” the agency (ahem ahem—going something like this:
FBI Director: Hey Bob
Delaney: Yeah?
FBI Director: You know that guy you let go because you thought he wasn’t a gangster?
Delaney: Sure.
FBI Director: Sssssssssss… yeah… we just found out.. he really was a G
Delaney: Oh. He’s good.
FBI Director: You’re fired.
Derek Fisher:
D-Fish gets 3 Bleeding Cuts. Sure he flopped like there’s a national crisis in flop shortage and thought by getting one in would be his version of a stimulus package.
Not so my friend. He did what he had to do to get the win, that’s it. I mean, you wouldn’t do any less for your weekend warriors would you? But there comes a time when integrity begets reputation and perhaps he could have re-done it in a more classier way.
It was nice move though, I gots to admit. That was like a Street Fighter II Turbo, takedown, all he needed was the +25pts and level damage bar with a complete finishing move to go into the bonus car wreaking round.
Philly Beating Boston
Dre Iggy and his band of ragtag misfits gets 1 Bleeding Cheek. I swear to you I have not watched a single Philly game this whole year. Why would I lie to you?
I was under the impression that they’d be the the NBA team equivalent to the great city of Atlantis (side question.. why is it the “CITY” of Atlantis? What country is it from? If there was a country, how come they just moved on like… “Well, there goes Atlantis, better find a detour to get to the in-laws’ place”???)
Anyhow, beating Boston is no small feat when your main arsenal is purely on dunks. Good on you Andre and the team of Phil-A!
ME
Yes yes yes, I must bring myself into the conversation once again.
Why?
Well, you see, I hurt my toe last night.
I got a boo-boo.
It’s serious business.
I think I need to call in a sick day
It looks infected.
Lamar Odom’s Arms
He’s gotta get that checked out pronto! Getting 21 rebounds last night and 22 the previous night. That deserves 4 Bleeding Cheeks.
Either he’s stolen some of the Dwight Howard man juice (yes, now that image isn’t GOING ANYWHERE MUWAHAHAHA) or GSW really need to up its size when they battle the Lakers come playoffs.
Getting boards is hard, I know because I’m a certified expert. My buddy is 5′2 I think, but somehow he always manages to grab missed shots and put it back. I think he cheats a lot, like tiny push offs here and there, but they’re always timely, at the right moment. God I want to punch him for consistently beating us with that.
I guess the point I’m trying to make is that: I need to box out more. The end.
Comments»
awwww get better, HypeToe!
You know, Delaney got rapped by the Commish this week. (Stern, not Robert Mueller)