The Official Isiah Thomas Rules of Insultery September 18, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Law Breaking, Outrageousness , 3 comments |
“I’ve got ___ … in different area codes … “So I.T. seriously is just letting his mouth talk without even thinking twice huh? Exhibit C: who is and who is not allowed to use the word “bitch”.
Asked if he was bothered by a black man calling a black female “bitch,” Thomas said: “Not as much. I’m sorry to say, I do make a distinction.
“A white male calling a black female a bitch is highly offensive,” Thomas said. “That would have violated my code of conduct.”
Why are we even bringing up such a foul display of immaturity from Thomas for being class-A moron? Well, so that we can open up the vault on what else Isiah Thomas wants to teach us about Proper Usage of Insultery Involving the Word “bitch”
• You CAN’T call someone a “bitch” until after 1:30pm EST
• You CAN call someone a “bitch” if Halo 3 is involved
• You CAN’T use “bitch” just simply as the goto insult in and of itself (for that wouldn’t be creative)
• You CAN use “bitch” in the following way: “Hey, why you gotta bitcherize this poster dude?” or “Man, that shirt is soooo not bitchin’” Variations are encouraged
• You CANNOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, use “bitch” when it is preceded by these two words of a particular pop song: “It’s Britney, ____ “… only because it’ll just remind us how awful Ms. Spears’ career has become in recent years
• You CAN use “bitch” if you’re in prison, obviously
• You CAN’T use “bitch” when she beats you at Rock Paper Scissors … even when she might do this
• You CAN use “bitch” after watching Deadwood DVDs, but really? That’s like the most tame slur out of everything you can come up with after viewing that incredible show
and finally …
• you CAN’T use “bitch” if you oversleep and miss the bus and then miss an important class and you’re left outside the room screaming UGH! … dude, sleep earlier!
Quick Word on Tim Donaghy’s Guilty Plea August 15, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Law Breaking, Referees , add a comment |
I don’t care.
Okay, that’s three quick words. But yeah, I went over it last time but thought I should just mention a little bit more now that the man looks to become a number in the criminal justice system of the United States. Again, don’t care, actually, never really did. The details are that he was the only one involved and really, that’s that.
Basketball is still basketball. This changes nothing, the game will still be enjoyable, this guy’s notoriety ain’t going to take that away. Stu Jackson will still annoy the living daylights outta me and unfair calls will be made. I was used to it before Donaghy and it’ll be the same as ever moving forward. Just please, close the book and move on. Yay!
Your Complete Guide to Referee Sainthood 101 July 27, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Law Breaking, Photoshopery, Referees , add a comment |
The Gibberish:
Alright alright, it’s been about a good week’s worth of just about everyone and their dead cats (Murray and Felonious) determining the end of professional basketball’s sanctity. Fuck all of that. You know why for us hoops fans, we squirm whenever the phrase “this is the biggest black eye to face the NBA in its history…” is used in a column or uttered on TV? It’s because that doesn’t fit at all. The gravity is way too high for this event — the real buzzkill is the over-usage of the that term when, if you just take a second and look … the sport has not been uprooted at all, but just a simple love tap.
There is cheating, and it’s serious, but not a fraction of it really undermines why we love watching 99% of the games. So chin up everyone out there that’s feeling uneasy — the only reason you feel that way is because you know you’ll still love the NBA wholeheartedly… And for some weird reason, because of this Donaghy fuckbag you now have a feel like there’s an obligation to feel guilty? Nah, forget it. Just let it go, this event hasn’t changed anything.
The Gibberish pt. ii (but with funny):
Phew, got that outta my chest now that the “serious” voice is locked up without food or water, here is the official Unrelatedness’ Guide to Referee Sainthoodâ„¢ where it is system for the NBA to truly, for complete certainness, know that the refs are as clean as bizarro Lindsay Lohan:
1) When asked if they gamble on anything and they answer:
- a) I don’t gamble
b) I gamble, but just a little
c) fuck you narc! where’s my lawyer bitch?
d) I will sell my mother to repay debts
a), b), d) will tell you that they are liars. A reply of c) is just rude
2) When asked if they know anyone in the mob and they answer:
- a) haha? the mob? yeah right that exists, ha!
b) the only mobster I know is Fat Tony on the Simpsons
c) where ma lawyer at fools?
d) David Stern is the biggest gangsta of them all ha ha ha
all of the above will tell you this person is insane
3) When asked if they cut their own hair
- a) what does that have to do with anything
b) yeah actually, I do, thanks for noticiing!
c) bitch, ma lawyer goin’ dun the haircuttin’
d) The Gambino family has a hairdresser— uh-oh
And so, that’s how we deduce things.
Got The Munchies? October 26, 2006
Posted by TheHype in 2007 All Star Game, Law Breaking , 5 comments |
Weed legal at ASG in Vegas not a problem? Ha! Oh Mr. Stern, you slay me, SLAY me I say. Quick, New Jersey Nets officials send Cliff Robinson off to Ireland or something during that weekend!
Stern: Nevada pot bill won’t effect ‘07 All-Star game [SI.com]
Chris Anderson, your services are needed for, um, “extra” entertainment…
Melo Not Mellow This Time July 11, 2006
Posted by TheHype in Law Breaking , add a comment |
Uhh..that was a horrible title, but that’s what happens when your typing this in your friend’s downtown apartment with no A/C and cigarette smoke circulating the air..
Anyways, Carmelo Anthony is once again mentioned in relation with the La-la-la (no not this La La) in this gripping AP report:
Police Sgt. Dan Boyle said Smith was pulled over just before 11 p.m. Sunday on Interstate 76 in Lochbuie, a town of 3,300. An officer smelled marijuana and found a small amount in the center console of the car, Boyle said.
That’s Tyler Brandon Smith by the by. But biggest double take from that whole report is Carmelo has his own company called Melo Enterprises. Sounds a bit, too.. construction-y? I dunno, just a bit too much serious where there shouldn’t be any.
And thus prolonged my Marijuana Edition following yesterday’s tribute to the godfather of the hemp plant.
Also, I’d like to give Samron a shout out for–well, giving me a shoutout his in column! Rock the mic Killa Sam!
