Catching Up With Everything In The History Of Everything January 29, 2008
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…Which of course, means after this post, I’d be gone for another 9 and a half days. So be the fickle nature of life… and the bloody cold.
NBA: I hear Chris Paul is Superman, Batman, Voltron, Phrenium Cadmium Isotope-92 all rolled into one amazing player that is murking the entire Western Conference. The Western Conference! And his Hornets (ironically, they do NOT have horns) have been beating up on their Southwest Division brothers in the Spurs.
Oh, what? He’s not a West All-Star starter? Well then, the only emotion I can convey in response to that is to imitize The Bryon Scott Arms Folding Emotion of Anger.
Webber Is Back In The Bay-Ay: I look forward to the post game interviews. Please please Mr. Commish re-instate the Beer Drinking After Game rule. For all the jumping around the league, C-Webb still has that affect on fans, and opponents (somewhat…whenever he can jump) so it’s nice to see the whole thing come full circle.
What else? The Miami Heat is worse than my nephew’s Toddler League (and he’s only 13 months old!!) It would seem like I love to harp on the Heat (I really do) but it’s just poetic, seeing as how I started this blog so many moons ago during the 06 Finals whereby Riley and Co. were able to “overcome insurmountable obstacles”. When beating Indiana to snap a 15 game L-Streak is the best thing since winning the chip, let’s just call this team lottery worthy shall we?
The Wire: HOLY SHIT. They killed Prop Joe. You bastards. I’d say his death is worse than Butchie’s only because I’ve grown fond of his sage wisdom over the seasons.
Now that’s another incentive for Omar to get the guns blazing. Though, and I don’t know anything since I’m spoiler free, I get the sense that his invincible hit man just might fall down this last season. Paging Brother Mouzone… Paging Brother Mouzone…
Oh What A Year It Shall Be January 2, 2008
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2008, welcome to the world. The empty, dark and barren world… Smilies!
There was shit fest of snow the past couple of days and I just got around to “help” out shoveling. I could totally bury my neighbor and now one would know…until just now…but…we’re cool right? You’re not going to tell are you? ARE. YOU.? I have snow and I’m not afraid to use it.
Anyways, as far as NBA storylines are concerned, I have a hard time reading it.
THE EAST: For sure, Chicago needs a life preserver ASAP. Scottie Pippen? If only for vanity… I’d say bring in Hubie Brown — it’ll be a blow to ESPN and fans of good analysis, but he’s the type of coach that can give mouth to mouth to this choking franchise. C’mon, who wouldn’t give Hubes an open mouth kiss? AMIRIGHTLADIES?
The Hawks are getting the quietest press (that or I haven’t read much… or in reality, I can’t read) even though they are fourth place in the East! Damn! Is it possible the Hawks kill’em come playoff time? Detroit keeps on trucking and finally have that “no respect” card to play again now that the Celtics take the burden off everyone else’s chest to dominate silly in the regular season. I see that as a wise move, because seriously, the elites need not waste energy on the dreary game of February.
Toronto, Indiana and Washington: someone please make the move to differentiate yourselves, or else I’m just looking at the exact same team fighting for nothing. Cavs, go away. And by the way, the Hedo pic is just to remind myself that I’m actively rooting for the Magic to represent the East in the Finals. It’s so crazy it’s going to happen!
THE WEST: Despite the slowness to Dallas, it’s looking like they’ll make themselves quite the Second Half Push Sandwich and eat it like it’s yummy. The Hornets can just let Chris Paul’s magical powers take over. The Suns/Spurs have made a pact to just play for reals against each other. Denver hopes their night and day performances work out for them. Portland is going to the 2nd round and whoever that thought of the Shorts Shorts Lakers promotion should be tried for Crimes of War.
What’s On The Tele-Tube Tonight?
- Focus your eyeballs on Mavs-Warriors Winner: Mavs
- Letterman, Leno, Ferguson, Conan, Kimmel are all back tonight. I actually quite like them all and hope for their best, but clearly Letterman/Ferguson has the edge with writers back as well. Winner: Letterman, and a push to Kimmel
New Year Resolutions December 28, 2007
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Resolutions are stupid. No one changes, ever. Tell ‘em Jet! And I’m not just projecting Mr. Oh-Look-At-Me-And-My-Psychology-Degree. But everyone makes them for pure vanity and the tiny glimmer that you’re promising yourself something. Here’s to your hope and dreams lads and lasses:
Satan Riles:
My resolution will be to admit that I can’t coach since I’ve made horrible offseason non-moves. To one up the resolution, I’ll force myself to go through a rebuilding movement by actually standing by and not “take a leave of absence”
I’ll stop reminding everyone that we won the championship just 2 years ago, when, IT’S BEEN TWO YEARS AND MANY INJURIES.
Kevin Garnett
My resolution will be to change… nothing. The way things are going right now is what’s up. That’s real talk. This is the best situation ever, no need to screw it up right?
The only test will be when we face the Spurs — then maybe I’ll fade in the fourth quarter and go un-clutch. But hey, I have two other closers on my team. No change needed. Real talk.
Harry the Hawk
My resolution will be to stop eating small children. I know, I know, I said the same thing last year, and the suits have told me adamantly that this is a no-no… but DAMN, they are delicious!
I’ll also be helping the Hawks towards a playoff push by perhaps punching the opposing team’s equipment manager in the nuts. That’ll show them who’s boss.
Marlo Stanfield
I think my resolution will be to try and stop killing so many people. But you know, it’s so hard!
I just want to be THE man and there’s no other alternative. Man, this resolution will be hard to keep. Shooting people in the face is just my thang, but I guess we all have to change. We’ll see.
Dr. House
I’M IN PAIN.
Like I’m going to give up the drugs, pffft. Look, what’s worse? Being a drug addict while saving lives, or being a DEAD drug addict and saving NO lives? Yeah.
Fine, my resolution will be to include the original cast members a little bit more lest we forget they ever existed.
Lots of snow
My resolution will be to try and come out less. I know, I’m sorry I’m sorry. The only people that like me are snowboarders and skiers and everyone in the city wants to kill me, I’m sorry.
I swear I’ll do my bestest and follow the Global Warming club and just stop. I know I’m annoying, but we can still be friends right? Like the time I made you late for work, classes and made your clothes soaking wet? Fun times!
Happy 27th of December! December 27, 2007
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Hello there.
Honest to Truth-God, I have been away from the picture box for the past week so I have no idea if the Heat still sucks, if the Suns are fickle, if the Lakers are winning doubters, if Portland is murking the entire crew, if Houston won’t ever get a consistent culture of winners, if Atlanta is exciting, if the Bulls will ever be a dominant “contender” with the recent firing of Head Vein Skiles, if Jay-Z is just bored, if the Writers’ Strike is spelled “Writer’s” or “Writers’s”, if the insurance will cover the hard snow that made a dent in the van, if Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert will continue to be superfanstasicliously awesome without writers (the answer’s yes), if using this tacky “if” device to list some things off my head is even a device… BUT MOST OF ALL, I have no idea if Mikki Moore is into hair metal bands.
However, I’ve been online, so no need for the tele anyway.
2010: Phil Jackson Fined For Calling Team ‘Crybabies’ November 15, 2007
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NEW YORK (AP) December 2nd, 2010 — The NBA has spoken with the Los Angeles Lakers about a meany name calling that coach Phil Jackson made Tuesday night’s game in San Antonio.
The Spurs made 13 3-pointers in their 107-92 victory, and Jackson was asked if too much whining and puoting was leading to bad chemistry with the team.
“We call this a Rugrats game, because there’s so much “waaaaaah” and “waaaaaaaah,” Jackson said. “It was one of those games where the players were just like crybabies. Literally, they were like crawling on the floor drooling. At one point, someone asked to be fed! They guys looked like they wanted to be mothered,” Phil continues, “I mean, what a bunch of little tots.”
The 1998 film, which won three awards, depicts babies crawling around and basically being babies — in cartoon form..
“The remarks are in poor taste, and the Lakers have assured us such remarks will not occur in the future,” league spokesman Brian McIntyre said.
NBA: Jackson’s remark in poor taste [SI.com]
Jackson says sorry, but in another humorous way – AWESOME [Yahoo!]
NEW NBA BALL.. IS.. WEIRD.. June 28, 2006
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(1:19pm)
I’m not sure about the new NBA Ball. I don’t fully hate it, but it doesn’t strike me as lovely either. I miss the traditional look to be honest. The “enveloping” designs remind me of something veeeerry particular…
