Yao’s Unwritten History March 2, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Houston Rockets, Injuries , add a comment |
With Yao going for SURGERY (caps for dramatic effect…and because it got stuck) and is done for the year, fans everywhere just have that pang in their hearts.
Loading …WotS: Gil Shuttin’ Yer Down? January 7, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Injuries, Washington Wizards, Word on the Streetz , add a comment |
Woah there Nelly. Gilbert Arenas might be thinking of forgetting the 07-08 season ever happened by thinking of not coming back this season. How are the citizenry of Word on the Streetz going to take this…
 Jonas Yezim Patent Officer “Arenas plays basketball? I thought he was imaginary, like Captain Planet, the Loch Ness and genital herpes.”  Sarah Laney Poll Researcher “It saddened me… he totally fucked up my fantasy team.”  Barack Obama Prez Candidate “FINALLY!” |
WotS: What Is Up With These Microfracture Surgeries? October 8, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Injuries, Word on the Streetz , add a comment |
Even before the season starts, there have been multiple instances of young players going under the knife: first Greg Oden, now Sean May (and then, perhaps even Spencer Hawes). Word on the Streetz knees needs to know what street people be thinking…
 Randy Brown Photographer “I think it’s those microfratrure docs that want some of that gravy you know? I’d work on your legs if I can make a couple mil what up!”  Mathilda Weiss Sax Player “It’s because the knees are revolting against the the bodies that it inhabits UNITY FOR ALL!!!”  Jerry Seinfeld Someone “What IS the DEAL with it?” |
Ode to G-ODE September 14, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Injuries, Portland Trailblazers , 1 comment so far |
By now, the good (or bad) gospel has been out: Greg Oden isn’t going to play in the 2007-2008 NBA season because he’s getting microfacture surgery.
One look around the blogs, the word “depressing” has been used 3257 times, 3258 counting that previous one I just wrote. I’m not a monster, and of course I have feelings, so yes, I’m not disagreeing that it’s a pity for Greg to have to go through this (and fans as well). But what I intend to do here, is to try and keep an upbeat motif so as everyone won’t just cry themselves to sleep.
Here Are The Things Greg Oden Should Do On A Long Year Off:
Go to the fringe festivals and educate himself on alternative arts!
Go and a have a shave, finally
Go and be the spiritual guide to all the young Hollywood crazies out there
Go be super amazing at Halo 3, and then just kick Gilbert Arenas’ team’s e-ass
and ripping off last post: Go back to school?
Question: Can Greg Oden Go Back to School? September 13, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Injuries, Portland Trailblazers , 1 comment so far |
Okay, sorry for the lack of immediacy updatory with the huge news of Greg Oden out for the year. Was working hard yo (and I did have something about this over at the FanHouse asking the age old question of Age Limit ethics)! Will have something slighty (only slighty) better about the topic tomorrow.
But for now, as the title suggests … why doesn’t Greg just go back to Ohio State and take some courses? Yeah yeah, the semester has already started blah blah blah, HE’S GREG ODEN. It’s not like the NCAA hasn’t bent (bended?) the rules for student athletes befo’.
Think about it, while rehabbing, he can study, not be totally up in his mind… he’ll have stuff to think about other than his knee. Who’s with me?
Dwyane Wade Will Take His Sweet Time July 16, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Injuries, Miami Heat, Photoshopery , 1 comment so far |
Oy, two posts in one day about the Miami Heat? Ugh. Oh well, we have to toughen up for this shit.So mister D-Wade isn’t going to be back on time for training camp because the doctor has some words of sage advice:
“I’m a fast healer, but my doctor really wants to make sure I’m well and I’m healthy and we don’t have to go through this process again,” Wade said. “He’d rather for me not to rush back to get in training camp and maybe aggravate something early in the season.”
Dude plays hard every night so I don’t blame the Doctor to keep an eye on things. I guess there really isn’t a point to this post other than to photoshop Wade in Doctor Who because there’s a doctor involved in the story. And also because Doctor Who is magnificent… and also because I’m a nerd.
Wade says injury rehab going according to plan, but may not be ready by training camp [Yahoo¿]
Rapid Fire: Vince’s Pinky; AK’s Ass Face; Walker Starting and N’Dong May 14, 2007
Posted by TheHype in 2007 Playoffs, Cleveland Cavaliers, Golden State Warriors, Injuries, Miami Heat, New Jersey Nets, Photoshopery, Trades, Utah Jazz , 4 comments |
Man, I thought Golden State would never lose at home — that’s the contract they signed wasn’t it? Damn, I don’t want to say the Warriors are done…… but…… the Warriors are done. Sorry my dear dear Bay Area pals (you know who you are) but the Jazz aren’t Dallas Choke-vericks.
They’ve got Acne Boozer; Turtle D-Williams, Mr. Roboto #47 and Okur. The only other place you’d find that eclectic mix of culture and race in one place is during a drug deal (my frame of reference only extend to stereotypical blockbuster action films and not real life). Last night, if anything was another typical Jazz game. They kept doing their thing and got their win.
Warriors, of course, tried to keep doing their thing, just this time the shots weren’t falling. If it did, I’m sure the series would’ve been 2-2 now. But alas, such is why a dream cannot be continued.
Andrei Kirilenko, please summarize your thoughts:
“People go all crazy,” Kirilenko said. “You dunk on me, OK, next time I’m still going to try to block your shot again. “It’s a different mentality. Guys try to put their ass in your face or say something. I’m not intimidated by that stuff.”
Thank you wordsmith. 
VC15, trapped in the closet (R.Kelly don’t rape sue me)
In other Playoffs news
Vincent Lamar Carter apparently had an ouchie with his vagina pinky finger in Game 3 against the Cavaliers:
Vince Carter’s left pinkie knuckle, bruised in Game 3, was wrapped yesterday. But he said “It’s not broken, so I can play.”
Yeah? You can? GREAT. VC’s little boo-boo notwithstanding, I think the LeBrons will take this game tonight. It’s cool and all for Jason Kidd to remember he can shoot from the outside again, ditto for Jefferson getting his, but the sooner this series end, the better it will be on our souls.
In other OTHER Playoff news, the Phoenix Suns try not to fall into oblivion. What I’m saying is that if they lose tonight, and go down 3-1, it would make my NBA fandom very sad. Suns making it to the Finals this year means so much for me. It would mean that the NBA has room for all types of champion styles; it would mean that for once, I team I rooted for from beginning to end of season could go all the way; it would mean awesomeness. For all the great things D’Antoni, Nash, Marion, Stoudamire has given us, I feel it’s for nothing and another year gone of Nash’s greatness. Gawd, fucking Spurs.
Loose Change
He’s fat. And a big baby.– Antoine Walker believes he can have his cake and eat 600 of them too!
Heat forward Antoine Walker — due $8.5 and $9.3 million the next two years — said he ”definitely” plans to speak to Pat Riley about his desire to be a starter, if he’s not traded. ”I play better as a starter. For me to be an effective player in this system, there’s a certain way you have to play. We’ve got to balance out this attack.”
Riiiight. There are 5 things wrong in that last statement. But I be classy and not joke of them. Nope. I won’t connect the obvious joke of the words “balance”; “Walker”; “can’t”; and “fat”. No sir, not here!
– And finally, a request to my Spanish readers, help me out: what’s going on in this page, and specifically, shed light on Mr. Boniface N’Dong PLEASE. That is front runner for best name in the history of the world.
Round 2 Fiesta May 7, 2007
Posted by TheHype in 2007 Playoffs, Injuries, Phoenix Suns, San Antonio Spurs , add a comment |
What is this? Blood?
NO ONE MAKES ME BLEED MY OWN BLOOD!
So once again, the Spurs, the g’damn Spurs, are deciding that the whole world can’t live in a place without having a tie-less Gregg Poppppppovich become supreme ruler of the all that is holy in basketball. Damn they are so good they give me acid reflux — and I don’t even know what that is.
Would Nash have made a difference in the outcome of the game yesterday had he not sat out the important moments of the game? Would the game result be different of some of iffy “lucky bounce” calls of the refs weren’t called? Those are the QTs (not Quentin Tarantinos, but “questions”) many bballer fans are asking this Monday-day.
Though the calls sucked, I don’t think they were controversial enough that decided the game — it was more ‘eh’ what can do you, those shit things happen. Here’s the kicker: the Suns can win this series because that Game 1 told me something, they can hang with the Spurs. YES, I know the Spurs won, I went to see the eye doctor prior to tipoff to sure I won’t make up things as the game went on.
However, the main thing was that D’Antoni & Co. weren’s fazzled dazzled, they just looked focused: need a bucket, find a scorer. It’s just that some of the late calls stopped all their momentum. I’m not sure about all the the Spuriffic Jedi Tricks I’ve read about the series and how they want the Suns to score–they’ll match them or they want Nash or STAT to put up big numbers–they’ll shut down the others. Not buying it just like I didn’t buy that $60 pairs of jeans the other day, I mean come ON 60 bucks? For a pair of jeans? Who do you think I am? The Prince of Persia? Sheesh!
Pertinent Series Reads:
Pounding the Rock (200% awesome)
AZ Sports Hub (hey, A-Z, that’s like the alphabet!)
Bright Side of the Sun (Sunny D-light!)
The Rising Suns (yo where you at Lucas?!)
Other Series Yo (In Pictoral Analysis):
Pistons Vs. Bulls
Cavaliers Vs. Nets
Warriors Vs. Jazz
RANDOM NON-SEQUITUR UPDATE:
Because Jamie Mottram and Steinz continue their effortful crusade to share with the TV world the big fun of sports blogs, here by she Blog Show #7: The Quickening (where a certain doodle post by a certain someone got mentionez … hint: IT WAS ME! MEEEEE! suck on that Pixar* 
)
*I’m sorry Pixar, I love you baby… I’m nothing without you…
A Phone Call With KG & T-Mac May 6, 2007
Posted by TheHype in 2007 Playoffs, Houston Rockets, Injuries, Minnesota Timberwoves, Utah Jazz , 3 comments |
May 5th: Houston Rockets got edged out by Utah Jazz in the 1st Round of the 2007 Playoffs. It is also T-Mac’s millionth early exit… making his fans (whoever’s still openly admits to being one) very sad all over again. The following is the transcript of a phone call that we at the Unrelatedness obtained through illegal wiretap “special” ways:
[*riiiiiiiiiing......riiiiiiiiing*]
*whimper* Ahhhh. *sigh*
[*riiiiiiiiiing......riiiiiiiiing*---click---phone picked up]
uh… he… hello?
YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO
um… KG, that you…?
Look man, I just wanted to say: I’ve been there. It’s NOT YOUR FAULT.
[off to the side] I know.
Listen to me, it’s not your fault.
[serious] I know.
No you don’t, it’s not your fault.
Fuck man. Kev, for that last time, stop that Good Will Hunting shit! I think you have a problem.
…
[...]
I’m… I’m sorry… it was on TV last night… um.. talk to you later?
Whatever. You’re such a geek sometimes.
The Tank Machine (In T-Shirt Form!) April 16, 2007
Posted by TheHype in 2007 Draft, 2007 Playoffs, Awards, Boston Celtics, Hype Shirts, Injuries, Memphis Grizzlies, New York Knicks, Photoshopery, Portland Trailblazers , 4 comments |
You know, I’m not too sure about this ‘tanking’ business in the NBA. 1) Because I never worked in the NBA and 2) ‘tanking’ as an expression, seems… so… I dunno, 1992. Nevertheless, this enigma apparently exists in the NBA—the art of losing.
(As a side note, if the goal of a franchise is to lose on purpose, and if they succeed in doing so, then they must be winners right? Or do we need to smoke up some more?)
This year, like any other year, the usual suspects fine tuned their heavy duty tank engines down the stretch. Exhibit C-9, Subsection 12: the Boston Celtics. Ziller Time noted on la Hause that the Cees were actively engaging in the Nation of Tank, praise be with upon Lottery Balls. And in case you want some more investigativism, Wages of Win via TrueHoop, used a calculator or something gave us numbers to back all that shit up. So congrats Doc Rivers, you earned this one—go and grab yourself that cherry soda you rightly deserve champ.
Sooooo, what do I really have to contribute to all this? TEE-SHIRTS! YAAAAAAY!
Check ‘em out friends, you got your Boston colorway, Knicks orange & blue, sorta Portland-y reds/black and Memphis baby blues (I pretty much gave up figuring what colors they actually wear… what the hell is that?)
They hot cuz they fly!
So go and support your local tank artists ya heard, it might appear on the Vatican-Approved BLOG SHOW and you’ll be all like, “woah, shirt, tv, me, wear, same? cool!” [Gear of Clothing]
********
Housekeeping: my internet service providers are like the German National Curling Team: LOSERS! They think I’m Morpheus so they shut off my intertube access due to “spam”… haters. I’m currently stealing wi-fi from my neighbors (hi!!) but it’s slower than Antoine Walker. Hopefully I get things straightened out by the end of the week.
