It’s Official: Western Conference — BATTLE ROYALE February 13, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Dallas Mavericks, New Jersey Nets, Trades , 3 comments |
Super breaking news! Where my breaking news can kick your f-ing breaking news’ ass!!!
I’m going to the Western Conference in a 58 team deal (yes! there are 58 teams in the Western Conference! What, you never heard of the expansion team: the Winnipeg Wheat Fields?) whereby half the teams give up 13 years of consecutive draft picks and expiring contracts that lands me to the Los Angeles Clippers.
I’ll be 61 in March, but the Clippers feel that we can WIN NOW. So what the hay, let’s do it!
Kidd traded to Dallas in latest blockbuster deal [Yahoo!]
Woah Woah Woah. Who Turned Off The Lights? February 6, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Miami Heat, Phoenix Suns, Trades , 1 comment so far |
I’m asking, because somehow, Steve Kerr got locked inside the toilet over the weekend someone and shut the lights on him. When he came out, disoriented, he said… “I need… [cough cough] I need… a limited edition movie poster of Gremlins… and oh yeah… [cough cough cough] Shaq”
WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!
Only three thing’s for sure:
1) Shaq looks horrible in orange
2) We haven’t played “Shaq” at optimum since we hacked NBA 2k4
3) The Stephen Colbert, Conan O’Brien and Jon Stewart festi-brawl was television orgasm.
Scenarios That Can Play Out Now:
The Dream Scenarios: File these under the same dreams as “getting a personal massage from Summer Glau and Autumn Reeser at the same time (hehehe Summer and Autumn…)”
• The Suns defeat the Spurs and is largely due to Shaq being the only person, er, object large enough to sustain Tim Duncan
• The Suns then meet the Lakers in the Western Conference Finals. But again, grand-papa Shaq knocks the Euro out of Gasol-ina and Kazaams the shit out of Andrew Bynum to make it a round-about-way final middle finger to the Lakers (even though every’s moved past this, but ESPN will remind us anyway)
• … that’s it
The Un-Dream Scenarios: File these next to Freddy Krueger’s hat
• Shaq can’t keep up to play more than 20mins a game, which, as the Suns lost Shawn Marion, is shitcakes
• So you lost an All-Star runner, 3 pointer and rebounder, but in return you got…someone that can share stories with Kerr about how to clean their Chip Rings.
• … that’s it… but really, can any of this be good?
Gasol A Laker, Everyone Make This Gesture February 1, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Los Angeles Lakers, Memphis Grizzlies, Trades , 5 comments |
Kobe can now finally talk about soccer with someone other than a mirror.
The Unrelatedness Poll: How To Get Chris Webber Back November 19, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Trades , add a comment |
Ah CWebb, the world was a better when you threw no-look behind the back passes to a cutting Vlade. But that was then… and now, well, the step is a bit slow and passes less crisp. But you know what? I’ll still have you on my team.
Loading …Magic Not After Webber [HOOPSWORLD]
Where Your Head At Steph? November 14, 2007
Posted by TheHype in New York Knicks, Photoshopery, Trades , add a comment |
Behind the Scenes of the Trade July 31, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Boston Celtics, Minnesota Timberwoves, Photoshopery, Trades , 9 comments |
[Phone rings]
Danny Ainge: yeeeeello? Double Dose of Danny Ainge at your service!
Kevin McHale: It’s… it’s me… K-Dawg
Danny Ainge: K-man! How’s it hanging? Doing good? Did you see the Simpsons movie??
McHale: Yeah! It was pretty awesome! Didn’t you love the part where— hold up… there was something I called you for…
Ainge: You need to borrow money?
McHale: No.. that wasn’t it…
Ainge: …need to borrow cocaine?
McHale: hmm, might’ve been it, but I don’t think so..
Ainge: oh, maybe you wanted to borrow my hooker?
McHale: hahaha no you silly, she’s already at my place, don’t you remember?
Ainge: hah, oh my, yes.
McHale: Well, whatever it is, I’m sure it’s not important. Glad we talked bra
Ainge: Anytime chum!
[meanwhile...]
Woah, Kevin Garnett ISN’T a Timberwolf Anymore? July 30, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Boston Celtics, Minnesota Timberwoves, Trades , 8 comments |
The biggest question first: But What About Mark Madsen? Who is he going to turn to when he’s out there screaming by his lonesome?? Oh sigh.
And yeah, pretty big news… only like… 4 years in the making. Kevin Garnett is going to be a Celtic.
The trade is for Al Jefferson, Ryan Gomes, Gerald Green, Sebastian Telfair, Theo Ratliff, a giant sandwich, three juice boxes, nine boxes of Juicy Fruit a No. 1 pick.
On the one hand, KG not in the dreary old Minnesota uniform is a welcoming sight. It’s also good to see him able to take a leap of faith in a new direction. However, on the other hand… meh… it’s the Celtics. They just traded away their entire bench (and possibly 3/4 Red Auerbach’s cigar collection) for millions and millions of dolla $igns.
Oh I’ll be watching, hopefully — Ray Allen, Paul Pierce and Garnett is bananas, but let’s be real for 2 seconds: they are not going to win a championship. Sorry Bostonians, not like this.
Grant Hill is a Sphinx Sun… July 6, 2007
Posted by TheHype in NBA TOONS, Phoenix Suns, Trades , 3 comments |
Que? ooooh it’s P-H-X … errm … oops. But I’m gonna call you a liar if you say you never thought of Sphinx whenever you see PHX.
Lies!
Well, looks like now the Suns have that imaginary fairy godmother called Leadership in the LockerRoom with Grant Hill (sidebar: Leadership in the LockerRoom will be my new air guitar band’s name — in the gangsta tunez of Air Supply bitches) as he signed onto filthy pity loose change in $1.8 million.
Can Hill be the Robert Horry to the Suns? And how sad is it that Horry is, at this very moment, a far better player than Grant Hill? He creates good mid-range off the dribble shots, a concept Phoenix liken to witchcraft. He plays more or less good defense (again, Suns go “what now?”) in an era where his synthetic ankle is better at staying in front of his man than any of the rookies coming in.
So, hell yeah, I think he’s gonna be not only good for the Suns, but make a ton of difference during those lulls where the 3s don’t feel like dropping and Nash get trapped hard away from the give and gos.
PS, the pictoral representation is pretty much how I remember Grant Hill’s true game even after all these Orlando Magic years, namely, that damn Sprite commercial.
Tuesday Haps: If Your Pizza Isn’t There in 30mins, You Get a Free Handy July 3, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Linkage, Trades , add a comment |
So Shard to Magic. Hmm. It’s a boatload of change, but I mean, with the possibility of Grant Hill gone (or worst, staying and still not helping much) and a very young team that doesn’t have that one player that can create when needed… I don’t see why it’s not a good idea.
Sure Lewis isn’t all that and cupcake, but Orlando needs something, anything to upgrade themselves. I pronounce thee: OK signage
In other news:
Holy crap Stephon Marbury is jokes jokes jokes| SLAMonline
Awesome breakdown look at the Yi Jianlian $$ machine | GSoM
Agent Black President Zero Countdown updates his blog and he makes funny (via Gilbertology) | NBA.com
D’oh! A Deer! A fucking dead female deer | Our Book of Scrap
Dean Cain wants to show off his Kryton balla skillz | Winning the Turnover Battle
Fantasy Bballin’ – who should be #1 pick this year? I say Dick Bavetta | Give Me The Rock
In other other (weird and Canuckistan) news:
Pizza and nude pics women… that’s evolution my friends| CBC.ca
Giving birth to your half-sister? That’s one of the plots from that Wayans movie wasn’t it? | BBC.co.uk
Don’t pull this guy’s finger… just.. just don’t do it | Wired.com
The Future of NBA Video Podcast is Here, and Its Name is Chris Bosh July 2, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Toronto Raptors, Trades , 2 comments |
Oui oui, it was the most joyous of Canadian days yesterday for it was THE Canada Day son! It also rained. It freakin always rains on Canada Day here in the M-T-L. Goddamn mooses.
So a couple of months back we brought up the attention to Mr. Chris Bosh’s venture into the podcast land. Now apparently he’s stepping things up with a VIDEO podcast going along with the audio. I watched a bit and dude’s so into it I felt like bottling his enthusiasm and sell it on the black market.
It’s nothing spectacularizing, basically it’s just the raw podcast session videotaped… without the snazzy music… I dunno, it’s not that amazing if you think about it… eh.. shit, well you know what, I thought it’s interesting that Chris is hosting his own show in a media format that doesn’t feel like he’s trying too hard (like ahem, dudes trying to rap…) and he’s just chatting it up, fun stuff. Have a lookie if you have the time here (hmm, that felt a little too marketing to me… I swear I wasn’t paid for this… yet, you listenin’ Bosh?!)
In other, more relevant, apparently Jason “The Lost Member of 98 Degrees” Kapano is joining the Raptors. For those counting at home, the roster is now 239% made up of shooters. Also, J-Peezy now joins Luke Jackson and Kris Humphries as being actually the only legit white boyz on a team full of Euros/Intn masquerading as whiteys (Andrea Bargnani, Jose Calderon, Jorge Garbajosa, Carlos Delfino, Rasho Nesterovic, Uros Slokar plus newest draft dude Giorgos Printezis) and a “he looks white, but I’m not sure” guy (Anthony Parker)
Good stuff I say for Raptors, Kapono is deadly from 3pt land (when he’s not being counted on as the only scorer like Miami needed him down the stretch last season) especially with the fact that Morris Peterson might not be back. He’ll get pleeenty of open looks now that Chris Bosh will be personally offended if he’s not double teamed.
