How The Hollywood Writers’ Strike Affects The NBA November 6, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Outrageousness, Photoshopery, Poop Culture, TV Shows, Unrelatedness , 4 comments |
I don’t know if you know this, but I’m a TV watcher. Shocking but true. And there is a strike going on with the writers of America for something frivolous like money or something. This is all very important, since I love my tv shows, but it’s also important in that it will affect what 96% of this blog is about: the NBA.
I mean, with the writers out, who will send in nightly scripts for David Stern to approve? Dramatic storylines like the following can’t be made up with spontaneity!
Chuck – Kobe’s Nightly Output
With the NBA writing staff gone, we have no clue just where Kobe’s f-you season is going to lead us. Whereas before, with script writers checking in, we knew that he had to start out like a bull and torment everyone—the league, his coach, his teammates. But now that the strike is here, his storyline is up for grabs.
The Unrelatedness Plot Suggestion to the NBA: Kobe Leaves For Africa. Just like that.
Project Run(a)way – Clay Bennett’s Thong Design
MAKE IT WORK PEOPLE! I don’t actually watch this show, but through gosh-darmnit osmosis know enough to make a reference.
Now you might say that “reality tv” don’t have writers. To which I might say you are wrong wrong wrong. See, without writers carefully planning the outcome of hundreds of footage, viewers have no clue what the story is. So the same is applied here with the SuperSonics Saga: unless someone rummages through the garbage (re: Clay Bennett’s words), NBA fans have no idea where their beloved franchise will end up.
The Unrelatedness Plot Suggestion to the NBA: Make Bennett wear a dress and walk the runway.
LOST – Unanswered Storylines
With 9 teams starting off the season with a wonderful 0.00% record, I hope the writers sure know what they’re doing. Fine, even when the writers weren’t striking, we had a hard time figuring the secret plans of McHale; Pat Riley’s roster problems; Golden State’s luck; Scott Skiles vein on his forehead; or even what the Sacramento station is supposed to do (I hear it houses polar bears!)
The Unrelatedness Plot Suggestion to the NBA: Just reset the season and give everyone a 2nd change, c’mon, we’re just 3 games in!
The Official Isiah Thomas Rules of Insultery September 18, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Law Breaking, Outrageousness , 3 comments |
“I’ve got ___ … in different area codes … “So I.T. seriously is just letting his mouth talk without even thinking twice huh? Exhibit C: who is and who is not allowed to use the word “bitch”.
Asked if he was bothered by a black man calling a black female “bitch,” Thomas said: “Not as much. I’m sorry to say, I do make a distinction.
“A white male calling a black female a bitch is highly offensive,” Thomas said. “That would have violated my code of conduct.”
Why are we even bringing up such a foul display of immaturity from Thomas for being class-A moron? Well, so that we can open up the vault on what else Isiah Thomas wants to teach us about Proper Usage of Insultery Involving the Word “bitch”
• You CAN’T call someone a “bitch” until after 1:30pm EST
• You CAN call someone a “bitch” if Halo 3 is involved
• You CAN’T use “bitch” just simply as the goto insult in and of itself (for that wouldn’t be creative)
• You CAN use “bitch” in the following way: “Hey, why you gotta bitcherize this poster dude?” or “Man, that shirt is soooo not bitchin’” Variations are encouraged
• You CANNOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, use “bitch” when it is preceded by these two words of a particular pop song: “It’s Britney, ____ “… only because it’ll just remind us how awful Ms. Spears’ career has become in recent years
• You CAN use “bitch” if you’re in prison, obviously
• You CAN’T use “bitch” when she beats you at Rock Paper Scissors … even when she might do this
• You CAN use “bitch” after watching Deadwood DVDs, but really? That’s like the most tame slur out of everything you can come up with after viewing that incredible show
and finally …
• you CAN’T use “bitch” if you oversleep and miss the bus and then miss an important class and you’re left outside the room screaming UGH! … dude, sleep earlier!
Marriages, Divorces and Public Displays of Nudity and Drunkness August 6, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Houston Rockets, Linkage, Outrageousness, Photoshopery, Poop Culture , add a comment |
Things you may or may not be interested in about our lovely NBA players’ lives…
– Yao Ming got married and this teammates celebrated the event by playing softball (holy crap, T-Mac’s bro pulled in some talent! … upon the updates… they do not have any relations… still hot)
– Rafer was so happy for Yao he went and got himself jailed for the night
– James Posey, even though he’s not even a teammate of Yao’s, decided to drop trou
– Kobe may or may not be divorced
– and Scrap is doing God’s work with a very serious and important coverage of our lifetime!
NBA Players Dating Etiquette August 3, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Awards, Outrageousness, Washington Wizards , add a comment |
It’s like this, fool me once, shame on you, fool me — you can’t get fooled again. Also, in another universe, a white ex-Duke player (oxymoron..) and a reality show person are somehow “relevant” (perhaps I’m making it worse by dabbing into it as well, HOWEVA, it led me to combine the two to make a post)
You see, far too often in the lives of obscure NBA players are they succumbed to fates unkind to their personal relationships with members of the opposite sex. Here at the Unrelatedness, I’ll provide some key pointers for those that have no “charm” or aren’t “smooth” when it comes to the seedy world of dating…
On Dating Women in the Media…
DON’T go out with beat reporters, for you’ll be subjected to the following question:
- “how did you feel about your performance?”
- “was it something I did to disrupt your confidence or it just wasn’t your night?”
- “what will you do in the second half to break the defense a little more”
DO go out with these “journalists/anchorwomen” (mini-NSFW!)
On Dating Women in the public office…
DON’T go out with this lady that says she’s crazier than Lorena Bobbitt
DO go out with Madeline Albright, HOTTT!
On Dating Women that looks like a hooker but really isn’t…
DON’T do it, she’s a cop
DO…… NOT DO IT ANDRAY! Big mistake!
WotS: Tell All Books July 30, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Outrageousness, Word on the Streetz , 1 comment so far |
Charles Oakley is supposed to put out a book with the usual “TELL ALL” keyword that gives book agents boners. So, with that said, from whom else would a tell-all book be appropriate? Word on the Streetz surveys:
Kelly Burns
Philosopher
“I’d like to read a book
by Kobayashi. You just
know there’s bound
to be at least one story
of him going down on
dudes.” 
Lord Richard
Featherbottom
Writer
“Heave ho! What’s this
scocery? How did I get
trapped in this white
box?!? Release me I say!”
Charles Barkley
Former NBA
player/fat guy
“There’s only one
book y’all need to read,
and it’s mine! If you don’t
read it, I’ll eat you all!”
Matt Geiger’s Real Reason For Helipad… July 26, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Outrageousness, Photoshopery , 3 comments |
New Yorker Cartoon Weighs in On Referee Fix July 21, 2007
Posted by TheHype in NBA TOONS, Outrageousness, Referees , 3 comments |
Maybe Tim Duncan Was Part of the Sting Operation? July 20, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Outrageousness, Photoshopery, Referees , add a comment |
Oooooooooooooh goodness. NBA refs?The mafia? The Feds? We need a movie, like… now.
July 20, 2007 — THE FBI is investigating an NBA referee who allegedly was betting on basketball games – including ones he was officiating during the past two seasons – as part of an organized-crime probe in the Big Apple, The Post has learned.
Federal agents are set to arrest the referee and a cadre of mobsters and their associates who lined their pockets, sources said.
“These are dangerous people [the referee] was involved with,” a source said.
The sources indicated the referee apparently had a gambling problem, slipped into debt and fell prey to mob thugs.
“That’s how he got himself into this predicament” by wagering with mob-connected bookies, one source said.
Yo, this can be tainted—and all those non-NBA folks out there are now armed with even more ammo to hate on the league… but dude, c’est cool! Okay, well, affecting the integrity of the game isn’t as cool, but I don’t care, something like this makes me believe that dark conspiracies around smoky bar tables full of mobsters and guns can still happen!
So WHO IS IT?? We all know Joey Crawford is a loose nut, with that Timmy D thing a while back that got him suspended, but I’m not sure UPDATE: it’s Donaghy (Do-nugh-gee? ack, he even has horrible name to pronounce to go along shotty job-integrity)
Here are your handicaps (irony isn’t lost that we’re fake-gambling on a gambling issue! hee!):
NBA in a ‘fix’ [NY Post]
crazy related: Bob Delaney Is Gangsta (ref Delaney used to be undercover fed!) [The Hype Guy]
Referees profile pics [ProBasketballRefs]
Steve Nash Is Omnipresent July 18, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Outrageousness, Phoenix Suns, Photoshopery , add a comment |
Steve Nash is a simple kid really. He enjoys sports, loves to compete and has a fascination with grunge hairstyles. He doesn’t really show off any kind of “flash” per se, only when they’re on court dishes. He’s just your everyday lad doing everyday things.You ever wonder just how he’s able to pull it all off? Well, I have the answer: he can teleport.
There, I said it. I revealed his secret. I kind of feel dirty now… it’s like revealing a magician’s act (you know, that they actually kill the help girls, that’s why we never see them again… creepy…)
Well, via AZsportsHUB, we find out that Nashy is seemingly everywhere, AT THE EXACT SAME TIME:
- Stalking Steve Nash has never been easier. Especially due to our favorite celebrity stalking site, Gawker Stalker. Not sure how Steve is popping up in both New York City and Vancouver all in the same week, but we suppose that anything is possible!Steve Nash on his skateboard. He was riding along observing the street scene when I did a double take and gave him a thumbs up – he smiled and gave me a thumbs up back.
Ah, Gawker Stalker, the most reliable and credible system of Stalk if I ever saw one.
Because fuck the press release about him being in Vancouver opening his new sports facility the same week right? That’s totally fake and made up son. Or, of course, dude has time to do a frontside, fakie, 50-50 olie in NYC and then fly back to VanCity to do a silly grand opening. Simple logic.
Stalking Steve Nash [AZ Sports Hub]
Gawker Stalker [Gawker]
Steve Nash to officially open his new sports club July 19th [Press Release]
Randolph, Artest AND Isiah Thomas? What a Wonderful Idea! July 5, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Miss Gossip Cameo, New York Knicks, Outrageousness, Photoshopery , 1 comment so far |
And by wonderful, I mean the Madison Square Garden would renovate their building to make it look something like this:
ARTEST-ING THE MARKET [New York Post]
