Things You Wouldn’t Hear January 11, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Culture/Fashion/Style, Photoshopery, TV Shows , 2 comments |
********TRANSCRIPT********
DAVID STERN: So that’s all there is… any questions?
REPORTER: Yes right here, David. What are your thoughts on Make Me A Supermodel?
DAVID STERN: What?
REPORTER: What are your thoughts on Make Me—
DAVID STERN: I heard you the first time. I can’t believe you’re asking this stupid question.
REPORTER: Well, I…
DAVID STERN: “Well I” NOTHING! Make Me A Supermodel is such a Project Runway and America’s Next Top Model ripoff. How dare you bring that trash into my press conference. Be gone you witch! Be gone!!
********END OF DAVID LYNCH’S TRANSCRIPT********
Teh Hotness! January 8, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Denver Nuggets, Golden State Warriors, Linkage, Phoenix Suns, Photoshopery, San Antonio Spurs , 3 comments |
Moments When I Feel Like The League Hates Me: last night. Because I had no access to those two hawwt games. Judging just by the final scores I know one of these things happened: Steve Nash hits daggers and passes; Iverson gets an impossible lay-up, Baron dunks on someone, and Manu’s bald spot makes a 3 pointer.
Yet I had to miss it all. OH SIGH-ness!
On the other hand, I read some pretty awesome blog posts, check ‘em:
– T.A.I. has a great recap of The Wire. More, more!
– Holy crap Steve Nash lives in Xanadu!
– Mike Tillery has an amazingly (and long… or amazingly long) feature about passing the torch. I need to clear my schedule to finish that.
– YAYsports is apparently back with a vengeance against all things either real or unreal with a Carny to boot
Oh What A Year It Shall Be January 2, 2008
Posted by TheHype in NBA At Large, Photoshopery, TV Shows , 2 comments |
2008, welcome to the world. The empty, dark and barren world… Smilies!
There was shit fest of snow the past couple of days and I just got around to “help” out shoveling. I could totally bury my neighbor and now one would know…until just now…but…we’re cool right? You’re not going to tell are you? ARE. YOU.? I have snow and I’m not afraid to use it.
Anyways, as far as NBA storylines are concerned, I have a hard time reading it.
THE EAST: For sure, Chicago needs a life preserver ASAP. Scottie Pippen? If only for vanity… I’d say bring in Hubie Brown — it’ll be a blow to ESPN and fans of good analysis, but he’s the type of coach that can give mouth to mouth to this choking franchise. C’mon, who wouldn’t give Hubes an open mouth kiss? AMIRIGHTLADIES?
The Hawks are getting the quietest press (that or I haven’t read much… or in reality, I can’t read) even though they are fourth place in the East! Damn! Is it possible the Hawks kill’em come playoff time? Detroit keeps on trucking and finally have that “no respect” card to play again now that the Celtics take the burden off everyone else’s chest to dominate silly in the regular season. I see that as a wise move, because seriously, the elites need not waste energy on the dreary game of February.
Toronto, Indiana and Washington: someone please make the move to differentiate yourselves, or else I’m just looking at the exact same team fighting for nothing. Cavs, go away. And by the way, the Hedo pic is just to remind myself that I’m actively rooting for the Magic to represent the East in the Finals. It’s so crazy it’s going to happen!
THE WEST: Despite the slowness to Dallas, it’s looking like they’ll make themselves quite the Second Half Push Sandwich and eat it like it’s yummy. The Hornets can just let Chris Paul’s magical powers take over. The Suns/Spurs have made a pact to just play for reals against each other. Denver hopes their night and day performances work out for them. Portland is going to the 2nd round and whoever that thought of the Shorts Shorts Lakers promotion should be tried for Crimes of War.
What’s On The Tele-Tube Tonight?
- Focus your eyeballs on Mavs-Warriors Winner: Mavs
- Letterman, Leno, Ferguson, Conan, Kimmel are all back tonight. I actually quite like them all and hope for their best, but clearly Letterman/Ferguson has the edge with writers back as well. Winner: Letterman, and a push to Kimmel
Happy 27th of December! December 27, 2007
Posted by TheHype in NBA At Large, Photoshopery , add a comment |
Hello there.
Honest to Truth-God, I have been away from the picture box for the past week so I have no idea if the Heat still sucks, if the Suns are fickle, if the Lakers are winning doubters, if Portland is murking the entire crew, if Houston won’t ever get a consistent culture of winners, if Atlanta is exciting, if the Bulls will ever be a dominant “contender” with the recent firing of Head Vein Skiles, if Jay-Z is just bored, if the Writers’ Strike is spelled “Writer’s” or “Writers’s”, if the insurance will cover the hard snow that made a dent in the van, if Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert will continue to be superfanstasicliously awesome without writers (the answer’s yes), if using this tacky “if” device to list some things off my head is even a device… BUT MOST OF ALL, I have no idea if Mikki Moore is into hair metal bands.
However, I’ve been online, so no need for the tele anyway.
I Want A 50 Game Playoff Series Between Suns-Spurs Now December 18, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Phoenix Suns, Photoshopery, San Antonio Spurs , add a comment |
Begone rest of the regular season minutiae games. Please, no need for trivialities. Last night’s Suns/Spurs battle shows what top tier basketball looks like (you paying attention Dallas?) and if you’re telling me we need another 4 months until it really counts — then you and I can’t share an ice cream cone together later today. Yeah, it’s like that.
Grant Hill, bless his elephant ears, for he is the Decidor. Last night, you saw him do damage beating opponents off the dribble, taking timely shots and just doing things. Whenever the Suns were at a lost on offense, it’s when the creativity breaks down, either when Steve Nash is on the bench or they just can’t find the 3 point netting. Grant Hill is doing this season what the Suns wanted Boris Diaw to do last season. I guess now they have two. Yay!
On the Spurs side, they probably would’ve won that game had Tony The Bastard Parker played. Tim Duncan was unstoppable and was going to win the game for them, but with Tony, it adds to the defensive pressure that the Suns don’t have an answer for. Jacque Vince Vaughn made enough shots to not get shot in the ass by Pop, but he doesn’t cave in the defense like Tony does. Manu, The Shadow Killer, had a okay night with 18pts, but his presence was not felt the GINOBILI! way. He made clutch shots, but as a whole, Suns didn’t seem to worry about him that much.
One thing that was interesting in this regular season game, which I’m not sure if it was on purpose or not, but Popovich didn’t use the tactic of making Nash a scorer. Perhaps D’Antoni and Co. finally found a counter, but it seemed like they let Steve direct traffic for this one game. Sure the whole thing could be mind games, when the Spurs will turn on the clamps when it really counts.
I’m going to sleep, wake me up in April.
Andre Iguodala Works For The New York Post? December 7, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Philadelphia 76ers, Photoshopery, Poop Culture , add a comment |
Look, I’m human, I read the rags now and again. It’s what the literature industry calls a “character flaw”. So as I’m flipping around ShowHype and one of the links goes to PageSix.com I see something noteworthy, aside from the site being FUBAR in Firefox:
I can just see it now: The two Andres sitting with their laptops at a Starbucks snickering at each other as they’re about to hit publish on yet another Amy Winehouse drunk pic.
(Consider this my 11th hour submission to the “Most Misleading Headline of 2007″ contest)
The I Finally Have Time HyperLinks
Posted by TheHype in Atlanta Hawks, Linkage, Photoshopery , add a comment |
Freedom!
Joe “K-Ci and” Johnson hit a buzzer beater last night to make us all remember his existence. Remember when we were all psyched that Joe was going to keep doing those quadruple-threat things like 3s, dimes, dunks and high fives after he left Phoenix? Those were good times. I think we’re getting back to that psych-ness once more after that heroic end to beat the lowly Minny T-Pups.
Here’s to more Johnson vying for an MVP spot once again. Atlanta’s gotta be on the upswing one of these years right?
Here’s to some links of interest: the We Rite Goode family Doctor requested some input. So here were mine on the Nuggets. To add a little bit on that, I clearly think the Nuggets will figure it out come post-All Star break. It looks like they’re night and day — and they are, but when they’re on, they look like Superman right? That’s what I’m betting on, that they’re able to have a good hot streak into the Playoffs and carry the momentum there. They aren’t consistent, but isn’t knowing that they are not consistent, the consistent fact about them? IS IT NOT? I rest my case your honour.
Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly! He’s been spittin’ hotkeys over at Yahoo! and it’s clear he’ll make things poppin… maybe he’ll fight Kenny Smith? There’s nothing like “FIRST!!!!!” on a post to mark the sign of a hit-maker blog.
NBA Physics Vol. I November 29, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Orlando Magic, Photoshopery , 1 comment so far |
(Wow! You won’t believe this — and you really shouldn’t — Monsieur René Descartes has some NBA thinkings that he wanted to share over here at The Unrelatedness. By jove, who am I to complain! Take it away Re-Re…)
Allo mes amis! What is sup friends? Long time no talk. With me being totally dead and all. Well, I caught the Orlando Magic vs. Seattle SuperSonics deal last night and OHOY! What did I notice? The man-beast himself (not the Devil Beast that tormented the 16th century France mind you, we — Locke, Hume and myself after some sips of rum — totally fucked him up back in my day) DWIGHT HOWARD.
You see, Howard posted a monster 39, 16 and 5 blocks. That’s not just scientific and philosophically bliss, that’s the goddamn nectar from the angels. Thus is my Dwight Howard Proof on the Existence of Grabbing All The Rebounds While Dropping Forty:
And even though the Sonics were on a mad hunt to try and upset a big lead, Kevin Durant saw something that he must learn or else perish forever: Objects will gravitate towards larger masses. Thus KD’s futile attempts to go at Dwight for a layup will cause the ball to be gravitated into Dwight’s hands. It’s that simple. You might as well just give the other team the ball, 2 points and maybe a hot stone massage.
I don’t know what that last part means. I’m seeing a shrink about this… his name’s Freud, any good?
Next time on Descartes’ Disseminations: How the specialists shooters, specifically white guys, have a shooting percentage proportional to the hair gel they use. Truth!
What’s In A Nickname? November 17, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Photoshopery , 1 comment so far |
Gut-check thought on this one? “Eh.”
Where Your Head At Steph? November 14, 2007
Posted by TheHype in New York Knicks, Photoshopery, Trades , add a comment |
