Eva Vs. Alexandra Vs. Tim Duncan: The Lines December 15, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Poop Culture, San Antonio Spurs , add a comment |
The gossip machines are going insanely out of control vis a vis Tony Parker, Eva Longoria and a French lady who is also hot as hell. While this space hates going into the gossip mills for stories (WHY ALBA?? WHY???), I think this story isn’t just important, it’s monumental.
So who’s it going to be Tony? Desperate House-can’t-act? French Model Alexandra Pare-get-in-my-pant-ssant? Oooor: Tim Duncan. Oh bro, don’t even hide it anymore. You gotta choose:
Eva Longoria  |
Alexandra Paressant  |
Tim Duncan  |
|
Looks: |
Big eyes, cute smile, got on a TV show because of it | Supermodel hot | Tim’s all about the low post tease. The attraction is undeniable |
| ADVANTAGE: Clearly Tim Duncan wins this round |
Skills: |
Not going to lie. Never seen her act, so I’m going to say she’s horrible | If she’s lying, she’s doing a mad job playing the role of marriage breaker upper | Tim has a way of luring you into his welcoming buggy eyes |
| ADVANTAGE: Close, but Duncan takes this round again |
| Long Term Outlook: | Acting jobs are hard to come by these days, so she might drive Tony insane after a couple years | Models, as their nature entails, don’t need much nutrition. They’re like human equivalents to the Smart Cars! | HE GAVE YOU 3 NBA TITLES BITCH, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT |
| ADVANTAGE: So hard (that’s what she said) but I think Timmeh edges the ladies again |
*******
The Spurs are the real winners if you guys hook up. That’s for sure. Oh by the way, me trying to pretty up this spot, you can now use Gravatars, like I said here. It’s fun, it’s picturey and low calories whenever you comment with the same e-mail.
Andre Iguodala Works For The New York Post? December 7, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Philadelphia 76ers, Photoshopery, Poop Culture , add a comment |
Look, I’m human, I read the rags now and again. It’s what the literature industry calls a “character flaw”. So as I’m flipping around ShowHype and one of the links goes to PageSix.com I see something noteworthy, aside from the site being FUBAR in Firefox:
I can just see it now: The two Andres sitting with their laptops at a Starbucks snickering at each other as they’re about to hit publish on yet another Amy Winehouse drunk pic.
(Consider this my 11th hour submission to the “Most Misleading Headline of 2007″ contest)
2010: Phil Jackson Fined For Calling Team ‘Crybabies’ November 15, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Los Angeles Lakers, NBA At Large, Poop Culture , add a comment |
NEW YORK (AP) December 2nd, 2010 — The NBA has spoken with the Los Angeles Lakers about a meany name calling that coach Phil Jackson made Tuesday night’s game in San Antonio.
The Spurs made 13 3-pointers in their 107-92 victory, and Jackson was asked if too much whining and puoting was leading to bad chemistry with the team.
“We call this a Rugrats game, because there’s so much “waaaaaah” and “waaaaaaaah,” Jackson said. “It was one of those games where the players were just like crybabies. Literally, they were like crawling on the floor drooling. At one point, someone asked to be fed! They guys looked like they wanted to be mothered,” Phil continues, “I mean, what a bunch of little tots.”
The 1998 film, which won three awards, depicts babies crawling around and basically being babies — in cartoon form..
“The remarks are in poor taste, and the Lakers have assured us such remarks will not occur in the future,” league spokesman Brian McIntyre said.
NBA: Jackson’s remark in poor taste [SI.com]
Jackson says sorry, but in another humorous way – AWESOME [Yahoo!]
How The Hollywood Writers’ Strike Affects The NBA November 6, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Outrageousness, Photoshopery, Poop Culture, TV Shows, Unrelatedness , 4 comments |
I don’t know if you know this, but I’m a TV watcher. Shocking but true. And there is a strike going on with the writers of America for something frivolous like money or something. This is all very important, since I love my tv shows, but it’s also important in that it will affect what 96% of this blog is about: the NBA.
I mean, with the writers out, who will send in nightly scripts for David Stern to approve? Dramatic storylines like the following can’t be made up with spontaneity!
Chuck – Kobe’s Nightly Output
With the NBA writing staff gone, we have no clue just where Kobe’s f-you season is going to lead us. Whereas before, with script writers checking in, we knew that he had to start out like a bull and torment everyone—the league, his coach, his teammates. But now that the strike is here, his storyline is up for grabs.
The Unrelatedness Plot Suggestion to the NBA: Kobe Leaves For Africa. Just like that.
Project Run(a)way – Clay Bennett’s Thong Design
MAKE IT WORK PEOPLE! I don’t actually watch this show, but through gosh-darmnit osmosis know enough to make a reference.
Now you might say that “reality tv” don’t have writers. To which I might say you are wrong wrong wrong. See, without writers carefully planning the outcome of hundreds of footage, viewers have no clue what the story is. So the same is applied here with the SuperSonics Saga: unless someone rummages through the garbage (re: Clay Bennett’s words), NBA fans have no idea where their beloved franchise will end up.
The Unrelatedness Plot Suggestion to the NBA: Make Bennett wear a dress and walk the runway.
LOST – Unanswered Storylines
With 9 teams starting off the season with a wonderful 0.00% record, I hope the writers sure know what they’re doing. Fine, even when the writers weren’t striking, we had a hard time figuring the secret plans of McHale; Pat Riley’s roster problems; Golden State’s luck; Scott Skiles vein on his forehead; or even what the Sacramento station is supposed to do (I hear it houses polar bears!)
The Unrelatedness Plot Suggestion to the NBA: Just reset the season and give everyone a 2nd change, c’mon, we’re just 3 games in!
DeShawn Stevenson Has Something In His Teeth October 8, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Photoshopery, Poop Culture, Washington Wizards , add a comment |
Oh yikes.
Big ups the The Big Lead for unearthing MySpace page gems. This time, it’s DeShawn “ALL YOU HATIN ASS BITCHES GET OFF MY PAGE” Stevenson with some purty girls he’s taking pictures with. I don’t know what the fuss is all about. I mean, when you get to take a picture of Gilbert Arenas everyday, why do you even need girls? Like c’mon!
But one of those pics, he’s gently holding up sweet lil’ Agent Zip because he probably loves Arenas’ new show. So of course, he wants to provide ample backlight by using his teeth-grills as a light reflector.
Physics! It’s what the cool kids are doing!
What Would You Paint On Your RV? September 12, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Poop Culture , add a comment |
Ah Shaq. Shaq, Shaq, Shaquity-Shaq.
While it’s not a surprise an NBAer decided to use Italian (film) gangstas as their iconic representation that is to be a manifestation in the form of an RV, it is rather funny Shaq in a tux. I mean, cooooome on, a suit? Really? That’s stretching it pal.
So I ponder what type of murals other NBA players would paste all over their traveling mobiles. I came up with thusly:
– Tracy McGrady: mural of Admiral Ackbar
– Chris Paul: mural of Burt (yar yar … old, recycled joke — not even mine really, I totally stole it, HEY! I’m Carlos Mencia!)
– Scottie Pippen: mural of Sarah Jessica Parker
– Jerome James, Antoine Walker: mural of muffins and cupcakes
– Ray Allen: mural of Jesus
– Tony Parker: mural of a baguette
– me: mural of ponies
Marriages, Divorces and Public Displays of Nudity and Drunkness August 6, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Houston Rockets, Linkage, Outrageousness, Photoshopery, Poop Culture , add a comment |
Things you may or may not be interested in about our lovely NBA players’ lives…
– Yao Ming got married and this teammates celebrated the event by playing softball (holy crap, T-Mac’s bro pulled in some talent! … upon the updates… they do not have any relations… still hot)
– Rafer was so happy for Yao he went and got himself jailed for the night
– James Posey, even though he’s not even a teammate of Yao’s, decided to drop trou
– Kobe may or may not be divorced
– and Scrap is doing God’s work with a very serious and important coverage of our lifetime!
Snobbery Watch Measuring-Thing™ for the NBA July 15, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Awards, Poop Culture, Unrelatedness , add a comment |
Around the Unrelatedness, we feel there’s a need to have a sense of style and taste (we are of course typing this on a gold-encrusted keyboard while eating delicious dolphin meat). That is why we feel it is in our interest to educate the youngins out there so that we can embrace a better world in the future (where plastic forks are outlawed due to a new chapter in the Bible declaring that it is a sin to humanity! true story!)
Okay, where the hell did we go… oh yes, style and taste and all that. Sooo, we now want you to be familiar with NBAOU’s official Snobbery Watch Measuring-Thing™ (*cough* it’s a scale *double-cough*) for the NBA!
Snob Watch? Why…?
It’s basically a contrived device we thought up 5mins ago that lets us hate on someone or something about the NBA without any real justifiable reason. Thus, being a snobby bastard
To See The SWMT In Action, Click To Read On
Off Topic: What’s Up With All Them Redesigns? July 3, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Poop Culture, Unrelatedness , add a comment |
Totally nothing to do with sports, but if you’re a frequent browser of news sites and admirer of its designs such as I, maybe this might be interesting.
Or maybe not. It’s your life, your body, your choice.
I’ve been noticing a bunch of revamps at places like CNN, USA Today, and even AOL portals (New/WriteWeb noticed this too!) now our boi big Crown Corporation, the CBC has also gone into the new makeover phase too, check her out
Thursday Thumbtacks: Soo.. Anything Happen Lately? February 8, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Linkage, Photoshopery, Poop Culture , 3 comments |
Ah, I haven’t busted out TT in a second, so for those that dunno what this is: It’s mainly just a link-dump. That’s it. Yawnerz.. And hey, it could be anything, doesn’t even have to do with NBA (which… well, is pretty much on par with every other post around here…)
So here she blows (think of the ‘bullet’ as a thumbtack, yeah, imagination!):
- So, John Amaechi… hmm… what to say about this… *thinking*thinking*.. I know! What up with his name being spelled “ae”? That’s plain weird. Alright alright, seriously though: When I first saw the rumblings at Sports On My Mind’s post at the beginning of the week, I really didn’t think much of it. That’s probably the best way I can vocalize my thought on this as a hoops fan—I really didn’t feel it merited much thought actually, maybe it’s just the liberal world I grew up in. So I still haven’t felt the true “importance” of this, that is, if it isn’t media-manufactured importance.. Anyways SLAM’s own Ryan Jones (used to be EIC of the joint) wrote a great personal anecdote of Amaechi when they were both young and probably had more hair, probably
- Just wanted to spread the GOOD word that The Basketball Jones is emulating Wilt Chamberlain this coming Monday in
banging mad hot chickshitting the century mark on their P-Casts, uber coolz!
- Because of the world cannot go on without this: live version of Dick In A Box
- Just a drive by linkage to the ever awesome Agent Steinz and his Bog, namely the post about a very wicked tat from Roger Mason — I think there’s voodoo going on, because I’m starting to read the rest of WaPo.com as well…
- Thanks to FanCasa for the tip: we can now play Big Brother mwhahaha! and see every player’s shot being charted on NBA.com—I’m sure one can waste hours by just playing with this, which is why I hauled ass after 2mins (that, and I get distracted by shiny obje—hey! what’s that!)
- Finally, I’m very saddened to bring you news that DJ Mbenga is out for the year…. so I’m busting out that tribute doodle on the right I made a couple months ago…*snif* Here’s to… better .. times *snif*, friend!
