NBA Basketball and Other Unrelatedness

A (Bruce) Banner Year June 17, 2008

Posted by TheHype in 2008 Finals, Boston Celtics, Los Angeles Lakers , add a comment |

Sooo, that happened. I’m most impressed with Rondo’s buddha-like emotions. Very interesting seeing that the other guys’ coach is supposed to be the zen dude.

Here’s the deal: I honestly only watched bits and pieces of every game throughout the entire playoffs. Sad to say I know. As one that found bblogging (basketball-blogging–yeah, go ahead, use it, I know you’re going to steal it anyway) an amazing outlet for everything that I lived for, it is a bit of a Debbie Downer to not be as frequent as possible.

But hey, I was hardly the first one to say the above words. Alas, I will not say the words which some may think would follow previous words. Those would be them’s awkward “goodbye blog” words.

NAY. Not I.

I’m just saying, through blogging, however infrequently I did, I loved it. Especially because of the way I exploded my mind all over an Internet space–something I’ve always wanted to do since Windows 3.1. It turns out it was just the beginning of a world of possibilities. I will always be around one way or another, don’t fret. But as you may see, evolution is coming and Darwin is pissed. Wait around, be patience and things will be banging from my front I Al(SWEAR)engen.

Much love and respect.

KG, Jesus and Guy That I Think Is A True Baller’s Baller: that was an amazing season and run. Super fun to watch and you played it up without being the Spurs.

PS: Kobe can make diamonds with his mind.

stored in: Doc Rivers, Kevin Garnett, Kobe, Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, The Pause Button

Vaguely Cognizant Thoughts On Boston/Lakers, Life, And Time Travelling Bunnies May 31, 2008

Posted by TheHype in 2007 Finals, Boston Celtics, Los Angeles Lakers , add a comment |

Here’s an idea: there should be a pill that allows one to fall back to sleep easily when they are just recovering from previous three nights of a summer cold. Oh yea. It’s called ‘ambient’ or some shit and I hear it causes erections that last long enough so you need to call a doctor for advice.

Sorry about that. You know when you’re daydreaming? This is sorta what it’s like. I mean, for the longest time I thought Kobe would not ever get back into the Finals. Ever. Not that I have anything against the man—but when he had a backup mate of Smush Parker for some years, my faith is obviously deterred.

Same goes for KG. He was supposed to be bound in Timberwolf purgatory, becoming that great legend that is whispered throughout the nation of being god-like in theory only. A Kobe-KG showdown? With Jesus and Truth on one end and Lamarr Odom and a Spaniard beard on the other? Nay. Tis cannot be, I must be daydreaming.

Since the playoffs began the dream scenario was to have a Lakers/Bostons finale. It brings back memories (of which I wasn’t a) born yet, b) even in the continent at the time) that might give America the hope of change.

Man, it’s so rainy outside at 6AM on a Saturday right now.

Okay, so there’s another reason to daydream. It’s not just to get our minds to a place where we can play around, but it’s also a time when impossibilities are vanquished. You get to literally morph your destiny. Things happen for a reason in real life, but our reasoning can make real things happen in dreamland. When those things collide and you get a formulation of an end result that you dreamed for and is happening in reality for sensible reasons, I flippin flip out.

None of the above made any sense. I’m sorry. Going on 3 hours of sleep here. Maybe I should wrap this up.

LOST will be forever my favorite show to combine several clever artsy and messed up science fiction crap. Moving an entire island? To where? Is Jacob the island? Does Ewan McGregor have anything to do with this?

What’s great about this year’s 2008 NBA Finals is the promise of everything you hoped would happen but feared to embrace. You sense it to be a joy but the knowing anticipation scares you. I can’t keep from not thinking about the impending doom of it all even though I should be cherishing it, even as it’s happening before your eyes.

It’s something I’m working on. The idea of accepting all that is good right now and not wish for it to be better or hope that it goes inevitably bad.

Uhhh, I wanna go to sleep…

stored in: Kevin Garnett, Kobe, Late Night Crazinesses Ideas, Lost, None Of This Makes Any Sense, Sickness Recovery

What’d I Give For… The Zards Beheading The King; Rockets To Fly; And Hawks Warrioring The Celtics May 2, 2008

Posted by TheHype in 2008 Playoffs, Atlanta Hawks, Boston Celtics, Cleveland Cavaliers, Houston Rockets, TV Shows, Utah Jazz, Washington Wizards , 1 comment so far |

Listen kids, back in the year 2008, there were these great Eastern Conference first round match ups that took everyone by surprise. Your uncle Barney made legendary bet that if LeBron James AND Kevin Garnett did not make it to the second round, he would hit on Doris Burke.

Now, believe it or not, back before you kids had the ANBCBSPNNFOX sports network that you have today, there was this amazing network called TNT — where they had crappy original shows but for unexplained reasons, their NBA coverage surpasses every single sports show about any sports.

Let’s bring you up to speed: May 2nd, 2008. The Washington Wizards’ legion of fans versus Cleveland’s royalty. Of course LeBron was the easy choice to plow through a measly opponent like the Wizards… as their key stars are just trying to recover while a great role player is invoking a rap war over the hardwood floor.

But you obviously have not been reading up on their mystique (not the WNBA team). This is a team that will do magnificiant damage in the realms of the unseen. This is a team that shall unequivocally push their limits as a collective onto an undeserving royal. They will rise up and make it game seven…because I’m really needing the points in my playoff point.

Undeniably, I’ve been a T-Mac fan 4 lifez. Part of the enduring love and frustration for rooting a marvel such as he is not seeing his failure in the first round exits. Nay. It is our own unfulfilled expectations of superiority for a beast that cannot be defined—Darwin couldn’t draw shit like this.

If it were up to the 12 Gods of Kobol, T-Mac would’ve been ostracized long ago into Cylon kingdom. He’s not one of the pure NBA great. His storyline never changes. Worst of all, he keeps an arsenal of power that will only come out to attack when you least, and inconsequentially, expected. He is a frakking toaster.

But I still root for the guy. Because through his sideway eyes I see myself. One that was destined for greatness but for some reason our GPS gadget broke. We’re in perpetual lost-hood. Until we crawl ourselves out of the cave, there is but one option: faith in the unknown. That is the legend of the right shoulder vein.

As for the old soul Hawks versus the old old Celtics. It will make my heart warm up like the south if Atlanta maintains their idealism by flipping the script. No one gave them a single game. Yet Joe Johnson came to cross up that delusion (what up Leon Powe) by reminding the world he was once untouchable as an original mover of the ‘05 Phoenix Suns team. Let them pass and the world will be in total order. Chaos will be Boston’s street name.

stored in: Battlestar Galactica, Ben Wallace, DeShawn Stevenson, Dwyane Wade, Free Darko, Gilbert Arenas, How I Met Your Mother, Kevin Garnett, Lebron James, Paul Pierce, T-Mac, What'd I Give For

Playoff Predictionales: West Side Story April 18, 2008

Posted by TheHype in 2008 Playoffs, Atlanta Hawks, Boston Celtics, Cleveland Cavaliers, Dallas Mavericks, Denver Nuggets, Detroit Pistons, Houston Rockets, Los Angeles Lakers, New Orleans Hornets, Orlando Magic, Philadelphia 76ers, Phoenix Suns, San Antonio Spurs, Toronto Raptors, Utah Jazz, Washington Wizards , add a comment |

Your trusty all winning, all sexy playoff picks for the 2008 NBA Playoffs, as decided by randomly pitting one team’s merchandise versus another. Marketing peeps, I’m your worst nightmare…

WEST

LAKERS’ Color Schemed Honda Element vs. NUGGETS’ Video Game Chair

First all, the Honda Element is the shittiest looking vehicle to have ever vehicled. But I mean, having it yellow does add a little something to it… like as if they were paying tribute to the Beatles. However, on the flip side, the Nuggets soft XBOX approved video gamey chair is just what’s needed when the team gets swept and homers need something to do. LAKERS IN 4.

MAVERICKS’ Potato Head vs. HORNETS’ TV Monitor

Well, the Mavs have a disadvantage here since Mr. Potato face’s toy is the norm for every all the teams. And yet, I can’t let go of the Hornet’s TV having half a basketball for an ass. But, I do love watching TV. HORNETS IN 6.

SPURS’ watch key vs. SUNS’ Girl Bear Cheerleader

Time… that’s all we’re ever worth. And the Spurs don’t have it anymore. And the girly Suns toy is just “bear-ly” legal. AH AHA HAHA HA. SUNS in 6.

JAZZ’s 80s colored Monster Truck vs. ROCKETS’ Cup

Jazz suck. Go McGrady. ROCKETS in 9.

Playoff Predictionales: East Side April 17, 2008

Your trusty all winning, all true playoff picks for the 2008 NBA Playoffs, as decided by randomly pitting one team’s cheerlady versus another. You best hope your team’s dancer’s bio ghostwriter was on their A-game…

EAST

CELTICS’s Haley vs. HAWKS’ Briana in Movie Tastes

Haley says she likes Elf and Pride and Prejudice while Bri is all about the Judd Apatow: Knocked Up, Superbad and Wedding Crashers for good measure. Look Haley, you can like Elf, you can like Pride and Prejudice, but you CANNOT have them both on your bio. HAWKS IN 7.

WIZARD’s Briana vs. CAVALIERS’ ?? in Interesting Facts

Briana loves math and the Cavs can’t even get someone to put a name to their dancers = FACT: Zards in 5

RAPTORS’ Nikki vs. MAGIC’s Lacey in Favorite TV Show

Nikki likes The Hills and Now & Then while Lacey likes King of Queens. Oh fuck this series is going to suck. PUSH

PISTONS’ Chelsea vs. SIXERS’ Amber in Quotes

C. is all about “Pick your battles wisely” while Ambz believes “It’s not luck… it’s talent. Luck is when talent meets opportunity.” So, obviously this resonates with their breakthrough team… thus… Sixer in—ah who am I kidding, Pistons in 2 and a half. Yeah, they’ll make the 76ers forfeit.

…and honest to Pope Benedict, yes I feel a bit pervy. But deep down, don’t we all?

stored in: Dance Party

Craigslist Around The League December 20, 2007

Posted by TheHype in Boston Celtics, Miami Heat, New Orleans Hornets, New York Knicks, Unrelatedness, Washington Wizards , 3 comments |

Everyone loves Craigslist. And that’s not just the new comedy I’m pitching to Canada’s CTV channel. But you know, the Craigslist. Anyway, I was browsing through looking for a male stri— um, looking for “furniture” when guess what? Some of the entries seem to be striking a little close to the NBA home I heart dearly. Take a look at some samples here…

new orleans craigslist > media coverage