Playoff Predictionales: West Side Story April 18, 2008
Posted by TheHype in 2008 Playoffs, Atlanta Hawks, Boston Celtics, Cleveland Cavaliers, Dallas Mavericks, Denver Nuggets, Detroit Pistons, Houston Rockets, Los Angeles Lakers, New Orleans Hornets, Orlando Magic, Philadelphia 76ers, Phoenix Suns, San Antonio Spurs, Toronto Raptors, Utah Jazz, Washington Wizards , add a comment |
Your trusty all winning, all sexy playoff picks for the 2008 NBA Playoffs, as decided by randomly pitting one team’s merchandise versus another. Marketing peeps, I’m your worst nightmare…
WEST
LAKERS’ Color Schemed Honda Element vs. NUGGETS’ Video Game Chair
First all, the Honda Element is the shittiest looking vehicle to have ever vehicled. But I mean, having it yellow does add a little something to it… like as if they were paying tribute to the Beatles. However, on the flip side, the Nuggets soft XBOX approved video gamey chair is just what’s needed when the team gets swept and homers need something to do. LAKERS IN 4.
MAVERICKS’ Potato Head vs. HORNETS’ TV Monitor
Well, the Mavs have a disadvantage here since Mr. Potato face’s toy is the norm for every all the teams. And yet, I can’t let go of the Hornet’s TV having half a basketball for an ass. But, I do love watching TV. HORNETS IN 6.
SPURS’ watch key vs. SUNS’ Girl Bear Cheerleader
Time… that’s all we’re ever worth. And the Spurs don’t have it anymore. And the girly Suns toy is just “bear-ly” legal. AH AHA HAHA HA. SUNS in 6.
JAZZ’s 80s colored Monster Truck vs. ROCKETS’ Cup
Jazz suck. Go McGrady. ROCKETS in 9.
Playoff Predictionales: East Side April 17, 2008
Posted by TheHype in 2008 Playoffs, Atlanta Hawks, Boston Celtics, Cleveland Cavaliers, Dallas Mavericks, Denver Nuggets, Detroit Pistons, Houston Rockets, Los Angeles Lakers, New Orleans Hornets, Orlando Magic, Philadelphia 76ers, Phoenix Suns, San Antonio Spurs, Toronto Raptors, Utah Jazz, Washington Wizards , 1 comment so far |
Your trusty all winning, all true playoff picks for the 2008 NBA Playoffs, as decided by randomly pitting one team’s cheerlady versus another. You best hope your team’s dancer’s bio ghostwriter was on their A-game…
EAST
CELTICS’s Haley vs. HAWKS’ Briana in Movie Tastes
Haley says she likes Elf and Pride and Prejudice while Bri is all about the Judd Apatow: Knocked Up, Superbad and Wedding Crashers for good measure. Look Haley, you can like Elf, you can like Pride and Prejudice, but you CANNOT have them both on your bio. HAWKS IN 7.
WIZARD’s Briana vs. CAVALIERS’ ?? in Interesting Facts
Briana loves math and the Cavs can’t even get someone to put a name to their dancers = FACT: Zards in 5
RAPTORS’ Nikki vs. MAGIC’s Lacey in Favorite TV Show
Nikki likes The Hills and Now & Then while Lacey likes King of Queens. Oh fuck this series is going to suck. PUSH
PISTONS’ Chelsea vs. SIXERS’ Amber in Quotes
C. is all about “Pick your battles wisely” while Ambz believes “It’s not luck… it’s talent. Luck is when talent meets opportunity.” So, obviously this resonates with their breakthrough team… thus… Sixer in—ah who am I kidding, Pistons in 2 and a half. Yeah, they’ll make the 76ers forfeit.
…and honest to Pope Benedict, yes I feel a bit pervy. But deep down, don’t we all?
Teh Hotness! January 8, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Denver Nuggets, Golden State Warriors, Linkage, Phoenix Suns, Photoshopery, San Antonio Spurs , 3 comments |
Moments When I Feel Like The League Hates Me: last night. Because I had no access to those two hawwt games. Judging just by the final scores I know one of these things happened: Steve Nash hits daggers and passes; Iverson gets an impossible lay-up, Baron dunks on someone, and Manu’s bald spot makes a 3 pointer.
Yet I had to miss it all. OH SIGH-ness!
On the other hand, I read some pretty awesome blog posts, check ‘em:
– T.A.I. has a great recap of The Wire. More, more!
– Holy crap Steve Nash lives in Xanadu!
– Mike Tillery has an amazingly (and long… or amazingly long) feature about passing the torch. I need to clear my schedule to finish that.
– YAYsports is apparently back with a vengeance against all things either real or unreal with a Carny to boot
Quote Of The Right Now: Backhanded Compliments Edition January 7, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Denver Nuggets , add a comment |
Stephen Colbert’s The Word Previews The NBA Pt.2 October 11, 2007
Posted by TheHype in 07/08 Season Previews, Boston Celtics, Dallas Mavericks, Denver Nuggets, Detroit Pistons, Miami Heat, New Jersey Nets, San Antonio Spurs, TV Shows , add a comment |
Previously on Stephen Colbert’s “The Word” the NBA SECTION 1 was previewed. Today, NBA SECTION 2 consisting of the following teaming members: Celtics, Nets, Nuggets, Spurs, Rockets, Heat, Pistons
Just how do you define the road to the Finals? By the number of times teams been there before? By the pedigree of its coaches, future Hall of Fame players, or intrepid trainers? The only way to truly determine whether or a team is destined to have a date with Ms. Finals is today’s Word:
 Lucky Charms.
Let’s face it folks, 4 of the the 7 teams in Section 2 has some serious horseshoes up the anus. All thanks to the spry GM skillz that were able to land a group of winners. For those bemoaning the fact that the Celtics tanked last season and didn’t even try to hide, take a look at the Spurs modern era dominance — they tanked to get Tim Duncan.The Heat and the Pistons would seem to have more a legit rep seeing that they worked their way up year after year trying to get off road blocks. The Heat have practically done nothing this past season and from an outsider’s point of view, yet there is a hint of optimism with them. The Pistons resigned their show running Bbbbillups and maybe his dabble with the Team USA can get his swag back for another run with mo-town. The Nuggets are the odd man out in this Section outfit, since every year in the playoffs, they keep meeting the same fate: |
 They keep getting bounced in the playoffs by a team that is better than them in every way.
While the Nets, you can say, suffer the same undesirable outcome every spring, theirs isn’t as inevitable as the Nuggets would seem. You see, New Jersey looks and feels like that 2002-2004 team that went to the Finals back to back (thank god Jason Kidd is still there) because seemingly out of nowhere, they can dominate any team with their trifecta of Kidd, Carter and Jefferson. But alas, they always run out of steam when it really counts. |
 It’s a surprise to have the Rockettes in this group because like the Nuggets, they cannot get over the hump.
They’re far superior in the regular season, but when it comes to the playoffs, injuries keep this team from being at their top condition. However, those are excuses, there is no way this team shouldn’t make it out of the SECOND round this year. Yao, Mac, Scola, c’mon guys, what is this, a charity? |
 It’s fine time to not make any ultimatums (ya hear T-Mac) and do what you do.
Stop thinking of the past. Move on (.org) and just like the Mavericks two years ago defeated their big brother Spurs, so can the Rockets rework their usual playoff losery ways and finally bust out.Finally, speaking of busting out, the luck is running smooth for one KGarnett, playing with the highest spirits in preseason games aboard thinking he has the best basketball resurrection now. He does. And though it was a wild chance that he finally landed in Boston with two other future HoFs, it’s is own doing that will ascend him and his team to contend for his first title. |
 And that’s the word |
Mike Brown Believes The Crap Outta Pavlovic May 8, 2007
Posted by TheHype in 2007 Playoffs, Cleveland Cavaliers, Denver Nuggets, New Jersey Nets , 2 comments |
So tonight’s Game 2 for the Nets and Cavaliers should be a good one really really horrifically boring game. How can we have LeBron, JKidd, Vince Carter and yet this series is as exciting as watching the grass grow (on astro turf!). Anyways, the one name that’s getting decent attention is Sasha Pavlovic. He’s the guy that made the clean block on the Jason Kidd attempted layup. (Which begs the question, Kidd can still do a layup?)
MB (Mike Brown, we’re boys like that) is truly a believer of The Pavlovian Meister (trademark nickname!) because dude sought him out for the defensive assignment. Yo he freaking brought the sought on:
“Anytime a player looks me in the eye and says, ‘I want that assignment,’ oooh, I’ve got to believe in my player,” Brown said. “He’s going to concentrate that much harder to do the right thing.
“I looked him in the eye when he stayed on him, and the look I got, I felt confident in him. You want it? Go ahead. Pick that man up.”
And after you pick him up, go pick up the trash, the kids and do the laundry as well! So yeah Sasha is the one to watch out for as a the X factor.
OH, by the by, it just can’t be me right? Every time I see Pavlovic, I think, damn doesn’t he play for the Nuggets? And how come there’s another one of him on the Nets? The very opponent they are battling?? Me so confused!
Okay, I guess I’m just grouping a bunch of Euro ballas with shaved heads together to make my case (I could’ve easily put Darko in there too… but let’s not get carried away here…)
Wow, Does Mark Cuban Hold A Grudge Or What February 9, 2007
Posted by TheHype in 2007 All Star Game, Denver Nuggets , 2 comments |
I’m inclined to say “yes”, yes he does he does hold a grudge. A huuuge one; one that probably close friends would be ticked enough to remind Mark from time to time, “dude, Let.It.Go. already. GOD! Every, Single, Time. It’s either “Wade” or “Google/YouTube” Christ!”
This is of course in regards to Mr. (not Ice) Cube’s latest BLOG!Maverick! entry that refers to a passing remark by D-Wade that may or may not be out of context from the Miami Herald:
”At the end of the day,” Wade said, “you’re remembered for what you did at the end. . . I think that’s the reason — Dirk says they gave us the championship last year, but he’s the reason they lost the championship, because he wasn’t the leader that he’s supposed to be in the closing moments. That’s because of great defense by us, but also he wasn’t assertive enough as a leader’s supposed to be.”
That really doesn’t say much man, especially given the context of the blurb in the original article (which, isn’t much to begin with). I take it someone posed a question in the form of: “So Dwyane, what do you think when some people say that the Heat didn’t win the Finals, but that Dirk and the Mavs gave it up?” [obviously that’s just me speculating..] And perhaps that’s where some misinterpretation set it.
So I really had to just laugh a bit when Marky went off like he did:
Dwayne I don’t blame you for not looking at tapes of the finals. You obviously didn’t. You would have seen your unbelievable skills and some other unbelievable elements that if I could discuss honestly here I would get fined for.
You are right, endings are remembered. And the ending of 3 of the games of the Finals will be remembered alongside Game 6 of the King vs Lakers Conf Finals a few years ago.
I guess you have earned the right to criticize Dirk with an obvious display of your own leadership skills.
I’m just glad he had the sense in holding back several OMGZ, u PHukin n33bs!!one1one
I appreciate Cuban, well, because he can be a down right genius most of the time. But dude, really, Let.It.Go. your team is doing amazing while their team isn’t—you see that road? Yeah, that one, it’s higher, take it please.
In Other News:
Hurrah! Carmelo Anthony got un-snubbed, and so did Josh Howard! T’is a mix of emotions for me.. as I somehow still would like the other Memo to join the club…
Happy Weekend errrvrybody!
And Returneth Is He January 23, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Denver Nuggets , add a comment |
Well, a combined effort of 70pts from the big three… the new age big three of Smith, Iverson and Anthony (surely someone else thought of a t-shirt idea already?) With that alley-oop dunk from AI to Melo—which hopefully FreeDarko can expand into a 1500 essay… I think they are the team to watch.
On the subject of Mr. Anthony, I was contacted with some kind words from one Steven Ross of Ross Marketing Company (which probably makes him the boss huh?) letting me know about Carmelo’s Myspace page. Truth me told, I hardly surf myspace, because for one thing, that site quite literally scares me, but it could also be summed up by Mr. Z (first name Jay):
No i never been on myspace
Too busy letting my voice vibrate
..or something like that..
Anyway, full disclosure is just Steven wanting to let fans of Melo find his page, nothing biggie, I don’t get anything from it, other than fun filler for the rest of this post. For those like I, whom were not brave enough to venture onto myspace’s clutches, here’s what you’ll find (btw, that last part was murder to the English language) :
- there is a “blog” like substance… Like a blog, there are words. Unlike a blog, Melo doesn’t quite write in it at all, save for the apology letter (which probably Kevin the PR-intern wrote up, no, not this one) and most of the posts are articles from publication or some myspace press release that has the words “Carmelo Anthony” in there somewhere
- where Melo did write, was right after the infamous escalation surge last month. His mood was—a “sad face emoticon”. Ah, how I love to express my feelings of everyday actions with icons…. hey! your kid broke my window with a baseball! arrgh! *angry emoticon!*
- obviously on the front page there’s a video interview with Katt Williams, and for a minute I’m cool because I figured out who he is right away, thank you “Friday” movies!
- said Katt interview is pretty good actually, give it a check out if you have 5 minutes to spare—for a good 3 and a half minutes though, I was fascinated by Katt and his cup (I’m guessin it’s tea) I was trying to figure out why they kept cutting back to him just as he went to sip it, it’s like an episode of LOST!
- Melo has a great down to earth snicker-type laugh
- Katt: “…and yes, if you catch him at the wrong point, he might knock your ass out…” and then run away (har har har….
)
Overall it’s cool, but I’m thinking if you’re already a myspace user you’d know about who’s who over there and needn’t be notified elsewhere.
NOTE: I thought I posted this 2 hours ago, but upon grabbing (re: hostile takeover) of my seating neighbor’s laptop I see it clearly wasn’unt. *sad face emoticon*
PS, and it’s a big “ps”: yes, just a little change around here, which is what I foreshadowed earlier.. a bit more explanato a bit later, now, class!
Melo’s Letter.. That I Found… January 22, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Denver Nuggets, NBA TOONS, Photoshopery , 1 comment so far |
just clownin’ NuggDoc it’s all love and whatnot for Carmelo! I hope those poor Memphis Bear Cubs don’t get embarrassed too badly…
Nuggets? I Knew It All Along! December 19, 2006
Posted by TheHype in Denver Nuggets, Philadelphia 76ers, Photoshopery, Trades , add a comment |
Surely the questions around ye massive trade is “could the Sixers’ have gotten more (aka suck less)” in terms of acquiring JR Smith. I can only wonder what Greg Oden is thinking as he’s watching all this on television. I’m guessing: “what’s for dinner” is the likely thought, but that’s just me.
Personally, I think the party taking the heaviest hit is Jason’s Denver tag ( can a tag tracker get O.Ded?)
The combo of AI + Melo + JR Smith = Crazy Delicious! 79.2 pts! The Wizards’ Big 3 are going to get a good challenge. Mind you at least Caron Butler, Jamison and Arenas have clearly defined scoring habits whereas Carmelo and Iverson do the outside-inside thing very similarily. That being said, I cannot wait until Melo and JR gets back
On the other, I don’t know how we didn’t see this Denver result coming waay earlier. The NASA evidence is astounding:
Just like Bruce Willis was a ghost all along (spoiler warnings are for the weak!), Iverson was right with Melo and J.R. the whole time.. spooky.
Try to explain the West...
