Stephen Colbert’s The Word Previews The NBA Pt.3 October 22, 2007
Posted by TheHype in 07/08 Season Previews, Cleveland Cavaliers, Indiana Pacers, Los Angeles Clippers, Milwaukee Bucks, New Orleans Hornets, Portland Trailblazers, Seattle Supersonics, Washington Wizards , add a comment |
The final week of The WORD Previews (Check out 1 and 2) . Today is Section 3 of the NBA (Sec.4 will come Thursday. Promise. Hugs and kisses) consisting of: Bucks, Pacers, Wizards, Hornets, Cavaliers, Clippers, Trailblazers and SuperSonics.
You know what’s worse than never making the playoffs, or actually making the playoffs each year, but because of the high toxin level of mediocrity, you really aren’t contending? The thing that’s worse than that is making it all the way—to the elite contending level, but then drop off drastically the next year.
Which brings us to today’s Word.
 The Re-Up.
It’s never satisfactory to get to the Playoffs year after year but not making any noise beyond the 3rd quarter hot shooting giving your team a 96-81 lead IN GAME ONE. Because right afterwards, your hopes and dreams are shattered like something that would shatter easily. |
 But perhaps that fate is far more merciful than what the Clippers or Sonics have to endure.
Tearing it up like no one’s businesses, these two clubs revamped their franchises two seasons ago by getting to new heights. What happened after that? Not a peep. The next season was their version of entropy.So it’s with a great concern that Cleveland might go this route as well because of just how lackluster they ended last June. |
 Just ask the Pacers.
They were the best of the East just a few young seasons ago. Now? It’s the Jim O’Brien Show and we’re just watching. Things are cyclical in the world, so the inevitability of the Cavaliers’ fall is almost certain. The one thing you can’t be certain of is something that no one will ever see coming. |
 That’s where the Wacky Wizards come in.
Their team lockerroom chemistry is as spontaneous as leader so just about anything is up for grabs. Hey, there were atop the Eastern Conference for a good two weeks last season. Never saw that coming. Hey, their Big 3 aka THE ENTIRE TEAM got injured and they flailed around into the playoffs. Never saw that coming.So what’s going to happen to them this year? I guess we just all have to watch and find out. |
 And that’s the word
(I just realized I didn’t say much about the three other teams. With good reason: Either they’re too depressing (Portland), too WTF, they still around? (Milwaukee) or just too meh (Hornets) Sorry! |
Jim O’Brien Is A Promotional Machine September 11, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Indiana Pacers , 1 comment so far |
It’s interesting how the marketing department works at any organization. I say this without any reliable experience in the marketing field. But consider the Indiana Pacers’ new ads with its new coach as the anchor of the whole thing:
Jim O’Brien is great and all, yet somehow using the head coach as your selling point just well, kind of undersells the whole thing. And also, the slogan could’ve been better. Here is what the Unrelatedness found on the cutting room floor of the ad dept that should’ve gone into production:
And so forth and so forth.
Did You Know: The Pacers Are Still in the NBA? August 13, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Indiana Pacers , add a comment |
Well, as John Hodgman would say: Did you? Personally, for the past several months I really re-he-he-lly did not realize the Pacers are still in this thing (btw, that’s the second Scrubs references today, I’ll stop, I swear). How bad it is? They’re slowly turning into the 2006 Bobcats in terms of my peripheral acknowledgment of their existance. That’s bad.
They had the mother of big trades last season with the Warriors that resulted in (*looking up the trade on the cyberwebz… ahh fuck it*) a LOT of players exchanging hands. What happen is as follows: Warriors = awesome :: Pacers = not as awesome.
Of course, now they are rebuilding, but Jermaine O’Neal isn’t quite on that page. So the team and fans obviously want quick and fast respectability, where the sight of any player that visits the city is a potential blockbuster. Alas, c’est une mirage. No, for I, and I know things, I will probably not know or feel anything about the Pacers for a long time, such is the hand they are dealt (unless or course, I keep up with the excellent Indy Cornrows… but other than that, no dice)
Why Do NBA Player Visit Indy? [Indy Cornrows]
Pic– Jermaine O’Neal: Braids or No Braids? [Miss Gossip]
Jermaine O’Neal Demands a Trade to NBC Show Scrubs August 7, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Indiana Pacers, Photoshopery , 1 comment so far |
INDIANAPOLIS — Indiana Pacers forward Jermaine O’Neal is now demanding a trade to NBC’s cult comedy Scrubs.
J.O. has been wishy washy of late when he made a remark to the awesomely named dude from SI.com Arash Markazi that he would “welcome a trade to the Lakers“. He then later backtracked making clear he didn’t actually demand the trade to L.A.
Now, however, word from his agent is that he does want to go to L.A., but for an entirely different reason: to star in the comedy series about hospital hijinks Scrubs.
“Scrubs is funny man!” said O’Neal, “Man, that Sarah Chalke is all sorts of hilarious… and frikkin’ HOT!”
The comedy show star Zach Braff would welcome Jermaine should he be traded: “Two brown bears? Sign me up!”
O’Neal averaged 19.4 points, 9.6 rebounds, 5.3 jokes per possession and 2.6 blocks last season in one of the best performances of his 11-year career.
Don’t You DARE Say “Dump” In Front Of Stephen Jackson February 12, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Indiana Pacers, Outrageousness, Photoshopery , 2 comments |
Hot off the AP comes the newest in Stephen Jackson’s Epic - Why Carrying A Gun Is Pretty Much The Funnest Thing To Do In Indiana.
In that report Jackson says that he fired off shots to calm people down. Hell ya, if I’m in a room full of crying babies, the first thing I’d think of is to shoot 3 warning shots in the air to let those fools know who’s the boss - na’mean?
Anyways, here’s why he went a-bang-bang:
Jackson, who now plays for the Golden State Warriors, testified that when he was walking from the club to his car, a man approached him shouting, “Go ahead and dump, dump!”
“Where I’m from, ‘dump’ means pull out your gun and shoot,” he said.
He fired a couple of shots in the air to break up the brawl that ensued, he said.
“It was like an all-out brawl,” he said. “I started seeing more and more faces I didn’t know.”
“Faces you didn’t know?” Oh, now you’re adding “short-term amnesia” to the defense huh?? Technicalities my ass. And really, are you implying that some guy dared you to pull out your gun and you went ahead and did so because you need to keep it real?
But wait, there’s more. The person that ran a car into Jackson declined to show up in court and instead had a lawyer speak on his behalf:
“Mr. Willford [dude that drove into Jax –TheHype], in fear of his life, in fear of his cousin’s life, does what the average reasonable person would have done,” Mendez [lawyer for said dude –TheHype] said.
I dunno about that man. According to your story, if someone shot a few rounds into the air in front of me while I was still in the car, I’d hightail the fuck outta here—not committing premature manslaughter. But that’s just silly ol’ me, thinking that CAR > Person.. the again.. it’s Stephen Jackson.. he’s pretty much indestructable (*not scientifically proven…yet)
The funniest thing though (bet you didn’t think something would top that) is: the AP writer is yet another T-Murph!
Random Tidbit…
Psst, I added a lil’ new box thingy on the sidebar that’s under “Top Posts” as a Link Highlight of The Day called Tic Tacs, check out the first link - Carnival of the NBA
You Stay Classy, Stephen Jackson October 14, 2006
Posted by TheHype in Indiana Pacers, NBA TOONS , add a comment |
Sure, I didn’t hop on the maiden voyage of the Stephen Jackson mania last week, but what else could I say that the big dogs haven’t already? Well, I guess there’s always this:
The Pacers are an enigma of sorts right now, where not even bloggers bother to set up a team site for them, as if saying, “ohhh fuck that, I’m not going to be any way associated with those loons”. Well at least this time I’m ahead of the NBA Previews! Supposedly, according to the schedule, Donning Craig Sager’s Suit (a site possibly on the cusp of being raw funny.. but not enough posts yet to make it so) is going to do it. Not sure when that’s coming, but I got you covered when the update comes. Word.
UPDATE: It was up in the evening last night while I got schooled by a shorter, fat kid in at the gym that kept driving to the hoop (YOU GOTTA WANT IT HYPE!)
