A (Bruce) Banner Year June 17, 2008
Posted by TheHype in 2008 Finals, Boston Celtics, Los Angeles Lakers , add a comment |
Sooo, that happened. I’m most impressed with Rondo’s buddha-like emotions. Very interesting seeing that the other guys’ coach is supposed to be the zen dude.
Here’s the deal: I honestly only watched bits and pieces of every game throughout the entire playoffs. Sad to say I know. As one that found bblogging (basketball-blogging–yeah, go ahead, use it, I know you’re going to steal it anyway) an amazing outlet for everything that I lived for, it is a bit of a Debbie Downer to not be as frequent as possible.
But hey, I was hardly the first one to say the above words. Alas, I will not say the words which some may think would follow previous words. Those would be them’s awkward “goodbye blog” words.
NAY. Not I.
I’m just saying, through blogging, however infrequently I did, I loved it. Especially because of the way I exploded my mind all over an Internet space–something I’ve always wanted to do since Windows 3.1. It turns out it was just the beginning of a world of possibilities. I will always be around one way or another, don’t fret. But as you may see, evolution is coming and Darwin is pissed. Wait around, be patience and things will be banging from my front I Al(SWEAR)engen.
Much love and respect.
KG, Jesus and Guy That I Think Is A True Baller’s Baller: that was an amazing season and run. Super fun to watch and you played it up without being the Spurs.
PS: Kobe can make diamonds with his mind.
Vaguely Cognizant Thoughts On Boston/Lakers, Life, And Time Travelling Bunnies May 31, 2008
Posted by TheHype in 2007 Finals, Boston Celtics, Los Angeles Lakers , add a comment |
Here’s an idea: there should be a pill that allows one to fall back to sleep easily when they are just recovering from previous three nights of a summer cold. Oh yea. It’s called ‘ambient’ or some shit and I hear it causes erections that last long enough so you need to call a doctor for advice.
Sorry about that. You know when you’re daydreaming? This is sorta what it’s like. I mean, for the longest time I thought Kobe would not ever get back into the Finals. Ever. Not that I have anything against the man—but when he had a backup mate of Smush Parker for some years, my faith is obviously deterred.
Same goes for KG. He was supposed to be bound in Timberwolf purgatory, becoming that great legend that is whispered throughout the nation of being god-like in theory only. A Kobe-KG showdown? With Jesus and Truth on one end and Lamarr Odom and a Spaniard beard on the other? Nay. Tis cannot be, I must be daydreaming.
Since the playoffs began the dream scenario was to have a Lakers/Bostons finale. It brings back memories (of which I wasn’t a) born yet, b) even in the continent at the time) that might give America the hope of change.
Man, it’s so rainy outside at 6AM on a Saturday right now.
Okay, so there’s another reason to daydream. It’s not just to get our minds to a place where we can play around, but it’s also a time when impossibilities are vanquished. You get to literally morph your destiny. Things happen for a reason in real life, but our reasoning can make real things happen in dreamland. When those things collide and you get a formulation of an end result that you dreamed for and is happening in reality for sensible reasons, I flippin flip out.
None of the above made any sense. I’m sorry. Going on 3 hours of sleep here. Maybe I should wrap this up.
LOST will be forever my favorite show to combine several clever artsy and messed up science fiction crap. Moving an entire island? To where? Is Jacob the island? Does Ewan McGregor have anything to do with this?
What’s great about this year’s 2008 NBA Finals is the promise of everything you hoped would happen but feared to embrace. You sense it to be a joy but the knowing anticipation scares you. I can’t keep from not thinking about the impending doom of it all even though I should be cherishing it, even as it’s happening before your eyes.
It’s something I’m working on. The idea of accepting all that is good right now and not wish for it to be better or hope that it goes inevitably bad.
Uhhh, I wanna go to sleep…
See You In The 09 Finals Spurs May 28, 2008
Posted by TheHype in 2008 Playoffs, Los Angeles Lakers, Referees, San Antonio Spurs , add a comment |
Sure it might have been a foul, and Duncan might’ve travelled so let’s just say the NBA officiating is what it is. I’ve stopped thinking about how they should change the refs or ways in which they can be more consistent. Fact is, it will never be perfect.
Had the foul been called, the ensuing argument could very well been that Fisher jumped up and actually avoided Barry. Perception is a bitch.
Anyways, I’m just glad the Spurs at least continued their streak of never winning the whole time in an even year. Would’ve messed up my Feng Shui.
TNT Done Blow Things Up May 25, 2008
Posted by TheHype in 2008 Playoffs, Los Angeles Lakers, Marketing, San Antonio Spurs , 2 comments |
I just got home, after doing a bunch of stuff half sober from the previous night’s bbq/Guitar Hero/Rock Band fest and knowing that I don’t have The Score (Canada’s indy sports network) — I felt kinda sad-faced emoticoned.
But what’s this? TNT has a page that rips things up to several degrees? This thing is genius, even though I came into this not knowing the score, and I have no idea who’s winning. It seriously is the best thing ever. It gives you a raw feeling to watching a live broadcast that seems pure (ie. no instant replays, not incessant rambling from Doug Collins about his previous day(s) with Michael Jordan punking him like a bitch.)
Man, I wish everyone did this. Like seriously, what if TV shows had alternate angle feeds as your watching it? SEE TONIGHT’S GHOST WHISPERER WITH THE GOD CAM!!!!!
Playoff Predictionales: West Side Story April 18, 2008
Posted by TheHype in 2008 Playoffs, Atlanta Hawks, Boston Celtics, Cleveland Cavaliers, Dallas Mavericks, Denver Nuggets, Detroit Pistons, Houston Rockets, Los Angeles Lakers, New Orleans Hornets, Orlando Magic, Philadelphia 76ers, Phoenix Suns, San Antonio Spurs, Toronto Raptors, Utah Jazz, Washington Wizards , add a comment |
Your trusty all winning, all sexy playoff picks for the 2008 NBA Playoffs, as decided by randomly pitting one team’s merchandise versus another. Marketing peeps, I’m your worst nightmare…
WEST
LAKERS’ Color Schemed Honda Element vs. NUGGETS’ Video Game Chair
First all, the Honda Element is the shittiest looking vehicle to have ever vehicled. But I mean, having it yellow does add a little something to it… like as if they were paying tribute to the Beatles. However, on the flip side, the Nuggets soft XBOX approved video gamey chair is just what’s needed when the team gets swept and homers need something to do. LAKERS IN 4.
MAVERICKS’ Potato Head vs. HORNETS’ TV Monitor
Well, the Mavs have a disadvantage here since Mr. Potato face’s toy is the norm for every all the teams. And yet, I can’t let go of the Hornet’s TV having half a basketball for an ass. But, I do love watching TV. HORNETS IN 6.
SPURS’ watch key vs. SUNS’ Girl Bear Cheerleader
Time… that’s all we’re ever worth. And the Spurs don’t have it anymore. And the girly Suns toy is just “bear-ly” legal. AH AHA HAHA HA. SUNS in 6.
JAZZ’s 80s colored Monster Truck vs. ROCKETS’ Cup
Jazz suck. Go McGrady. ROCKETS in 9.
Playoff Predictionales: East Side April 17, 2008
Posted by TheHype in 2008 Playoffs, Atlanta Hawks, Boston Celtics, Cleveland Cavaliers, Dallas Mavericks, Denver Nuggets, Detroit Pistons, Houston Rockets, Los Angeles Lakers, New Orleans Hornets, Orlando Magic, Philadelphia 76ers, Phoenix Suns, San Antonio Spurs, Toronto Raptors, Utah Jazz, Washington Wizards , 1 comment so far |
Your trusty all winning, all true playoff picks for the 2008 NBA Playoffs, as decided by randomly pitting one team’s cheerlady versus another. You best hope your team’s dancer’s bio ghostwriter was on their A-game…
EAST
CELTICS’s Haley vs. HAWKS’ Briana in Movie Tastes
Haley says she likes Elf and Pride and Prejudice while Bri is all about the Judd Apatow: Knocked Up, Superbad and Wedding Crashers for good measure. Look Haley, you can like Elf, you can like Pride and Prejudice, but you CANNOT have them both on your bio. HAWKS IN 7.
WIZARD’s Briana vs. CAVALIERS’ ?? in Interesting Facts
Briana loves math and the Cavs can’t even get someone to put a name to their dancers = FACT: Zards in 5
RAPTORS’ Nikki vs. MAGIC’s Lacey in Favorite TV Show
Nikki likes The Hills and Now & Then while Lacey likes King of Queens. Oh fuck this series is going to suck. PUSH
PISTONS’ Chelsea vs. SIXERS’ Amber in Quotes
C. is all about “Pick your battles wisely” while Ambz believes “It’s not luck… it’s talent. Luck is when talent meets opportunity.” So, obviously this resonates with their breakthrough team… thus… Sixer in—ah who am I kidding, Pistons in 2 and a half. Yeah, they’ll make the 76ers forfeit.
…and honest to Pope Benedict, yes I feel a bit pervy. But deep down, don’t we all?
The Kobe Left Cheek Bleeding Cut Awards March 25, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Golden State Warriors, Los Angeles Lakers, Photoshopery, Referees , 2 comments |
In honor of Kobe bleeding like crazy last night, here is the inaugural Kobe Left Cheek Bleeding Cut Awards:
First up: BOB DELANEY:
He gets 5 Kobe Bleeding Cuts for blowing the call on Monta Ellis/Derek Fisher flop. I mean, one quick look at the two recent comments on here site and you can tell the Yay Area is not thrilled with the once undercover FBI agent.
You just hate when that happens, which makes us all wonder if that’s why he “quit” the agency (ahem ahem—going something like this:
FBI Director: Hey Bob
Delaney: Yeah?
FBI Director: You know that guy you let go because you thought he wasn’t a gangster?
Delaney: Sure.
FBI Director: Sssssssssss… yeah… we just found out.. he really was a G
Delaney: Oh. He’s good.
FBI Director: You’re fired.
Derek Fisher:
D-Fish gets 3 Bleeding Cuts. Sure he flopped like there’s a national crisis in flop shortage and thought by getting one in would be his version of a stimulus package.
Not so my friend. He did what he had to do to get the win, that’s it. I mean, you wouldn’t do any less for your weekend warriors would you? But there comes a time when integrity begets reputation and perhaps he could have re-done it in a more classier way.
It was nice move though, I gots to admit. That was like a Street Fighter II Turbo, takedown, all he needed was the +25pts and level damage bar with a complete finishing move to go into the bonus car wreaking round.
Philly Beating Boston
Dre Iggy and his band of ragtag misfits gets 1 Bleeding Cheek. I swear to you I have not watched a single Philly game this whole year. Why would I lie to you?
I was under the impression that they’d be the the NBA team equivalent to the great city of Atlantis (side question.. why is it the “CITY” of Atlantis? What country is it from? If there was a country, how come they just moved on like… “Well, there goes Atlantis, better find a detour to get to the in-laws’ place”???)
Anyhow, beating Boston is no small feat when your main arsenal is purely on dunks. Good on you Andre and the team of Phil-A!
ME
Yes yes yes, I must bring myself into the conversation once again.
Why?
Well, you see, I hurt my toe last night.
I got a boo-boo.
It’s serious business.
I think I need to call in a sick day
It looks infected.
Lamar Odom’s Arms
He’s gotta get that checked out pronto! Getting 21 rebounds last night and 22 the previous night. That deserves 4 Bleeding Cheeks.
Either he’s stolen some of the Dwight Howard man juice (yes, now that image isn’t GOING ANYWHERE MUWAHAHAHA) or GSW really need to up its size when they battle the Lakers come playoffs.
Getting boards is hard, I know because I’m a certified expert. My buddy is 5′2 I think, but somehow he always manages to grab missed shots and put it back. I think he cheats a lot, like tiny push offs here and there, but they’re always timely, at the right moment. God I want to punch him for consistently beating us with that.
I guess the point I’m trying to make is that: I need to box out more. The end.
WotS: Here Comes Kobe… March 3, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Los Angeles Lakers, Word on the Streetz , add a comment |
Mr. Bryant once again itched his way into the 50+ point game arena when he pretty much beat the Mavs and stole Mark Cuban’s GI Joe toy all by himself. Word on the Streetz sought the higher meaning in all this…
 Cate Lepard Illustrator “Kobe’s just trying to get that elusive Oscar… What? The Awards were two weeks ago?”  Gina Welds Banker “It’s like he can’t stand the fact that points get shared by other people and not just him!”  Mr. Roboto DVD inspector “Yeah? Well, I once ate nine medium sized pizzas let’s see him top that shiz.” |
Things To Look For Tonight: Phoenix vs. Suns February 20, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Los Angeles Lakers, Phoenix Suns , add a comment |
Shaq’s smiles for the cameras … as the action is
happening on the other end of the floorThe REAL Superman is back tonight. And fighting his old stomping grounds of the LA Lakers now as a Sun. It’s poetry is what it is.
If only Bynum is in this as well, then we’d get our money’s worth of a smackdown for the ages. God I hope to … er, god, that they match up in the Playoffs.
Here’s what you need to look out for in tonight’s game (because I won’t be watching: seriously, I’m gonna be at a pickup game… pfft, don’t look at me that way! Those legs aren’t going to work out themselves!)
* That puke you see in front of you as you see Shaq check in? That’s the realization at how ugly he looks in a PHX jersey
* Kobe will distribute like crazy up until the 3rd… that’s when he’ll want to dunk on Shaq’s nose everytime
* Nash will throw an alley-oop to Shaq in the same way as he always have for Shawn Marion — but it goes horribly wrong: Shaq totally forgot what a dunk is… and just throws it at security guard
* For once, Phil Jackson will look animated, but that could be the constipation
* For once, Mike D’Antoni will look calm and reserved, even Zen-like—oops sorry, the camera was still on Phil, ESPN just put up the wrong name caption
* Hubie Brown will say: “NOW, the ref saw it differently…” which totally means “fucking dumbass call”
* Finally, I will have blown a breakaway layup and get taunted by my teammates. It’s uncanny.
Gasol A Laker, Everyone Make This Gesture February 1, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Los Angeles Lakers, Memphis Grizzlies, Trades , 5 comments |
Kobe can now finally talk about soccer with someone other than a mirror.
