Caption It: Marko Jaric And Greg Buckner Chillaxin October 9, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Minnesota Timberwoves, Photoshopery , 2 comments |
Free virtual donuts to the top 3 Caption It winners! So, just what are these two dudes starring at… and more specifically, what are they thinking?
And as a bonus, I guess, Jaric-Fu:
Stephen Colbert’s The Word Previews The NBA October 8, 2007
Posted by TheHype in 07/08 Season Previews, Atlanta Hawks, Chicago Bulls, Dallas Mavericks, Golden State Warriors, Minnesota Timberwoves, Orlando Magic, Phoenix Suns, TV Shows, Toronto Raptors , 1 comment so far |
It is an honour and a privilege to have The Colbert Report lend us the use of “The Word” to The Unrelatedness for our 332nd annual NBA season preview. With the season quickly approaching in a couple of weeks, instead talking about it team by team, division by division (like my man TZ, also getting inspired by Colbert), conference by conference, I’ll simply divvy up the teams into four arbitrary segments (cuz I be doing four installments yo) and call it NBA SECTION 1, 2, 3, 4 and such forth.
It begins henceforth — NBA SECTION 1 (consisting of the following teams: Raptors, Mavs, Hawks, Bulls, Magic, Warriors, Timberwolves and Suns) :
You know, one of the things that I can’t stand are teams that have no identity and weak toothpicks.
 Why?
Because every time you use that damn toothpick, it breaks. Argh! Oh yeah, no identity teams, right. Which brings us to today’s Word: The ReBorn Identity. Yes. Finally it looks like the axis of mediocre evil is finally taking a halt as teams in SECTION 1 have a new definition for themselves. You’ve got the team just needling the mass love in the Raptors poised to show off their free flowing style that is exciting to watch for all the reasons you’d like playing pick up basketball — everyone contributes. The Hawks and Magic will undoubtedly use their collective snub from playoff land and shared experience of losing to be a team that will not win from “surprising” you, but will win because they can. It’s like this, once you lose as bad as you have like them for the past 4-5 years, there’s only one way to go. |
 Up.
So stick with those teams this year, if for no other reason than they need a few more fans. Now speaking of up, the Suns and Mavs are in the mortal lock for total cancellation of each other. While they have re-made their image in the last 5 years to contending squads, there is still a lot to be answered for in terms to truly bypassing the rock solid Spurs. For one thing, Mavs getting shook could be a good thing, using it to fuel their hunger. For the Suns, it doesn’t seem like they ever want to go away from the “we are truly good, we just need that liiiiiiittle alignment in the universe and we’ll be in the Finals.” Now look, the Suns are the team to root for, but there’s just always this little obstacle… |
 …this little obstacle called “closing”.
They just can’t seal the deal, and it pains me to face this truth whenever they face an uphill battle (Game 3 in San Antonio notwithstanding). The same query faces the young guns that keep making playoff appearances that only serve to embarrass their yearly inexperience at score. IF YOU DON’T KNOW BY NOW, I’M TALKIN’ BOUT CHI-TOWN. Whereas with with the T-Wolves and Warriors, all is skyrocketing and they are taking off in flight without ever looking back |
 Shut it Bullet!
These two teams have more in common than they would like to believe. Renewed energy and new blood to mark a sea of change to not give a shit about what happened last season. The only sadness is the absence of Jason Richardson where he embodied the free spirit of sweet release on every dunk. Juwan Howard feels his pain. |
 By having a new identity is like having a new movie role.
You take the old bad experience and check in with a completely new one. And that’s The Word. |
I Heart New Site Redesign August 30, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Linkage, Minnesota Timberwoves , add a comment |
No silly wabbit, not my site redesign…god, not again (at least not for the next 5-8 months and 11 days). But it is good friend Sonia’s I Heart KG moving on up to the hott new spot TWolvesBlogDOTCOM where they are looking to takeover the Wolves community with a sick roster of writers and a special members sections where anyone can write up, cotdamn!
Keep up with SG’s updates on her relocation at Daily News section. WOOOOOOO! (<— my wolves howl…)
WotS: Because the Science in Helmets Can Only Do So Much August 20, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Minnesota Timberwoves, Word on the Streetz , add a comment |
Mad Dog Mark Madsen was injured on a “watercraft”. He’s getting a shoulder surgery and now out three months. You also remember Vlad Rad got injured doing a goofy fakey something-ey on the half pipes in the middle of the last season. Word on the Streetz would like to know how we should prevent future eXtreMe sport accidents…
 Simon Kwan Marine “You tie the muthfaker down and go all Clockwork Orange on them. Let’s see them walk much less do a sport from now on! Ha!”  Katie Reynolds Power Broker “We’re asking a little too much aren’t we? Sure we can prevent some things. But what about personal freedom? What if one day they want to do the fun ‘fire-breathing-while- bungie-jumping-as-you- stab-sharks activity?? What then I ask?”  Michael Young Salesman “Eh mon, no worry bout dem foos. Just relaxin’ and chilaxin’ … eh, did someone say ‘pipes’?” |
Behind the Scenes of the Trade July 31, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Boston Celtics, Minnesota Timberwoves, Photoshopery, Trades , 9 comments |
[Phone rings]
Danny Ainge: yeeeeello? Double Dose of Danny Ainge at your service!
Kevin McHale: It’s… it’s me… K-Dawg
Danny Ainge: K-man! How’s it hanging? Doing good? Did you see the Simpsons movie??
McHale: Yeah! It was pretty awesome! Didn’t you love the part where— hold up… there was something I called you for…
Ainge: You need to borrow money?
McHale: No.. that wasn’t it…
Ainge: …need to borrow cocaine?
McHale: hmm, might’ve been it, but I don’t think so..
Ainge: oh, maybe you wanted to borrow my hooker?
McHale: hahaha no you silly, she’s already at my place, don’t you remember?
Ainge: hah, oh my, yes.
McHale: Well, whatever it is, I’m sure it’s not important. Glad we talked bra
Ainge: Anytime chum!
[meanwhile...]
Woah, Kevin Garnett ISN’T a Timberwolf Anymore? July 30, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Boston Celtics, Minnesota Timberwoves, Trades , 8 comments |
The biggest question first: But What About Mark Madsen? Who is he going to turn to when he’s out there screaming by his lonesome?? Oh sigh.
And yeah, pretty big news… only like… 4 years in the making. Kevin Garnett is going to be a Celtic.
The trade is for Al Jefferson, Ryan Gomes, Gerald Green, Sebastian Telfair, Theo Ratliff, a giant sandwich, three juice boxes, nine boxes of Juicy Fruit a No. 1 pick.
On the one hand, KG not in the dreary old Minnesota uniform is a welcoming sight. It’s also good to see him able to take a leap of faith in a new direction. However, on the other hand… meh… it’s the Celtics. They just traded away their entire bench (and possibly 3/4 Red Auerbach’s cigar collection) for millions and millions of dolla $igns.
Oh I’ll be watching, hopefully — Ray Allen, Paul Pierce and Garnett is bananas, but let’s be real for 2 seconds: they are not going to win a championship. Sorry Bostonians, not like this.
What the F, KG? July 9, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Minnesota Timberwoves, Photoshopery , 1 comment so far |
I might’ve hinted something in the earlier link ups a post below. But I think it’s a good discussion platform for another post here (yo yo, I just used “discussion-platform”, what’s next? using the term “discourse”??)
ANYhow, thanks to the chest pass from iheartkg, here be a lovely quote from Kevin Garnett’s dude friend Rshard McCants that just kills me:
[...] But we talked about it a couple of times, scenarios and places. There’s no other place he wants to be. When you’re a king in your own kingdom, why would you want to go somewhere else?” [...]
Okay, so we have to keep in sound mind that it ’s R-Mac just saying his side of things, we really don’t know the real KG’s realest thoughts. But I can’t say I’m not a wee bit down on that enlightenment. Like I mentioned in the other post, this guy at a pickup game really tore Garnett up—to the point that I was sensing if Ticket retired today, he wouldn’t even care. But… but… it’s Kevin Garnett!
This guy’s basic premise is that Kevin doesn’t deserve all the pity because he the onus is on him to get his team wins (which he has not.) To which I replied, “hey, meanie! stop being a jerkwad!” … after considerable laughter and ridicule, I also included “but the past few years no credible help was there for him.”
But now, I dunno, when KG’s going all “King of the castle, king of the castle, I have a chair!” and not doing something, anything on getting himself into a winning situation… it just makes me go ugggh, and thinks that he doesn’t really have it as bad it he does, y’know?
A Phone Call With KG & T-Mac May 6, 2007
Posted by TheHype in 2007 Playoffs, Houston Rockets, Injuries, Minnesota Timberwoves, Utah Jazz , 3 comments |
May 5th: Houston Rockets got edged out by Utah Jazz in the 1st Round of the 2007 Playoffs. It is also T-Mac’s millionth early exit… making his fans (whoever’s still openly admits to being one) very sad all over again. The following is the transcript of a phone call that we at the Unrelatedness obtained through illegal wiretap “special” ways:
[*riiiiiiiiiing......riiiiiiiiing*]
*whimper* Ahhhh. *sigh*
[*riiiiiiiiiing......riiiiiiiiing*---click---phone picked up]
uh… he… hello?
YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO
um… KG, that you…?
Look man, I just wanted to say: I’ve been there. It’s NOT YOUR FAULT.
[off to the side] I know.
Listen to me, it’s not your fault.
[serious] I know.
No you don’t, it’s not your fault.
Fuck man. Kev, for that last time, stop that Good Will Hunting shit! I think you have a problem.
…
[...]
I’m… I’m sorry… it was on TV last night… um.. talk to you later?
Whatever. You’re such a geek sometimes.
Feelin’ Hungover Lazy February 25, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Minnesota Timberwoves, NBA TOONS, Washington Wizards , 5 comments |
Like the title says, I’m doing a bit of recyclin’. This was done a while back, but I didn’t know it was a Nostradamus sort of connection between a game this afternoon and tonight’s Hollywood Self-Fatulation Academy Awards 
To quench your undying lust for T-Wolf and Wizardry updates, go here and here. Oh and if Marty Scorsese doesn’t win… let’s just say… Taxi Driver wasn’t just a movie…
oh ps: watching the Bulls-Piston game and saw a very funny D-Wade Gatorade ad. Sigh, too bad.. you know.. he’s pretty much done for the year.. but it was mad funny tho “do it again! do it again!”
Sam Mitchell’s Got Fun Hobbies! November 16, 2006
Posted by TheHype in Minnesota Timberwoves, Photoshopery, Toronto Raptors , 1 comment so far |
I bet you didn’t know Raptors head coach Sam Mitchell was a member of the Village People! We got proof!!
Thanks in order to Ryan for bringing the baseball card to my attention. Apologies to Sam, the Wolves, Sonia, the sledgehammer… this was too funny (that I had to do something with it right away!) 
