I’m going to the Western Conference in a 58 team deal (yes! there are 58 teams in the Western Conference! What, you never heard of the expansion team: the Winnipeg Wheat Fields?) whereby half the teams give up 13 years of consecutive draft picks and expiring contracts that lands me to the Los Angeles Clippers.

I’ll be 61 in March, but the Clippers feel that we can WIN NOW. So what the hay, let’s do it!

Kidd traded to Dallas in latest blockbuster deal [Yahoo!]

Just how do you define the road to the Finals? By the number of times teams been there before? By the pedigree of its coaches, future Hall of Fame players, or intrepid trainers? The only way to truly determine whether or a team is destined to have a date with Ms. Finals is today’s Word:

Lucky Charms. Let’s face it folks, 4 of the the 7 teams in Section 2 has some serious horseshoes up the anus. All thanks to the spry GM skillz that were able to land a group of winners. For those bemoaning the fact that the Celtics tanked last season and didn’t even try to hide, take a look at the Spurs modern era dominance — they tanked to get Tim Duncan.The Heat and the Pistons would seem to have more a legit rep seeing that they worked their way up year after year trying to get off road blocks. The Heat have practically done nothing this past season and from an outsider’s point of view, yet there is a hint of optimism with them. The Pistons resigned their show running Bbbbillups and maybe his dabble with the Team USA can get his swag back for another run with mo-town. The Nuggets are the odd man out in this Section outfit, since every year in the playoffs, they keep meeting the same fate:

They keep getting bounced in the playoffs by a team that is better than them in every way. While the Nets, you can say, suffer the same undesirable outcome every spring, theirs isn’t as inevitable as the Nuggets would seem. You see, New Jersey looks and feels like that 2002-2004 team that went to the Finals back to back (thank god Jason Kidd is still there) because seemingly out of nowhere, they can dominate any team with their trifecta of Kidd, Carter and Jefferson. But alas, they always run out of steam when it really counts.

It’s a surprise to have the Rockettes in this group because like the Nuggets, they cannot get over the hump. They’re far superior in the regular season, but when it comes to the playoffs, injuries keep this team from being at their top condition. However, those are excuses, there is no way this team shouldn’t make it out of the SECOND round this year. Yao, Mac, Scola, c’mon guys, what is this, a charity?

It’s fine time to not make any ultimatums (ya hear T-Mac) and do what you do. Stop thinking of the past. Move on (.org) and just like the Mavericks two years ago defeated their big brother Spurs, so can the Rockets rework their usual playoff losery ways and finally bust out.Finally, speaking of busting out, the luck is running smooth for one KGarnett, playing with the highest spirits in preseason games aboard thinking he has the best basketball resurrection now. He does. And though it was a wild chance that he finally landed in Boston with two other future HoFs, it’s is own doing that will ascend him and his team to contend for his first title.

And that’s the word

Chauncey Billups: $60 Mil, 5 years
First thing to purchase: 500 iPhones, one for each of his contacts

Rashard Lewis: $4274580223147 Mil, ? years
First thing to purchase: Canada

Gerald Wallace: $57 Mil, 6 years
First thing to purchase: Bethlehem Shoals‘ apartment

Jason Kapono: $24 Mil, 4 years
First thing to purchase: more hair gel

Cookie Monster: 10 000 Cookies Carrots, 10 years
First thing to purchase: the hell? you can’t buy shit with carrots, what a dumbass… carrots…

Michael Moore: $40 Mil, 2 years
First thing to purchase: a life size doll of Dr. Sanjay Gupta and burn it

Vince Carter: $61 Mil, 4 years
First thing to purchase: a new cooter

They’ve got Acne Boozer; Turtle D-Williams, Mr. Roboto #47 and Okur. The only other place you’d find that eclectic mix of culture and race in one place is during a drug deal (my frame of reference only extend to stereotypical blockbuster action films and not real life). Last night, if anything was another typical Jazz game. They kept doing their thing and got their win.

Warriors, of course, tried to keep doing their thing, just this time the shots weren’t falling. If it did, I’m sure the series would’ve been 2-2 now. But alas, such is why a dream cannot be continued.

Andrei Kirilenko, please summarize your thoughts:

“People go all crazy,” Kirilenko said. “You dunk on me, OK, next time I’m still going to try to block your shot again. “It’s a different mentality. Guys try to put their ass in your face or say something. I’m not intimidated by that stuff.”

Thank you wordsmith.
VC15, trapped in the closet (R.Kelly don’t rape sue me)

In other Playoffs news

Vincent Lamar Carter apparently had an ouchie with his vagina pinky finger in Game 3 against the Cavaliers:

Vince Carter’s left pinkie knuckle, bruised in Game 3, was wrapped yesterday. But he said “It’s not broken, so I can play.”

Yeah? You can? GREAT. VC’s little boo-boo notwithstanding, I think the LeBrons will take this game tonight. It’s cool and all for Jason Kidd to remember he can shoot from the outside again, ditto for Jefferson getting his, but the sooner this series end, the better it will be on our souls.

In other OTHER Playoff news, the Phoenix Suns try not to fall into oblivion. What I’m saying is that if they lose tonight, and go down 3-1, it would make my NBA fandom very sad. Suns making it to the Finals this year means so much for me. It would mean that the NBA has room for all types of champion styles; it would mean that for once, I team I rooted for from beginning to end of season could go all the way; it would mean awesomeness. For all the great things D’Antoni, Nash, Marion, Stoudamire has given us, I feel it’s for nothing and another year gone of Nash’s greatness. Gawd, fucking Spurs.

Loose Change

He’s fat. And a big baby.– Antoine Walker believes he can have his cake and eat 600 of them too!

Heat forward Antoine Walker — due $8.5 and $9.3 million the next two years — said he ”definitely” plans to speak to Pat Riley about his desire to be a starter, if he’s not traded. ”I play better as a starter. For me to be an effective player in this system, there’s a certain way you have to play. We’ve got to balance out this attack.”

Riiiight. There are 5 things wrong in that last statement. But I be classy and not joke of them. Nope. I won’t connect the obvious joke of the words “balance”; “Walker”; “can’t”; and “fat”. No sir, not here!

– And finally, a request to my Spanish readers, help me out: what’s going on in this page, and specifically, shed light on Mr. Boniface N’Dong PLEASE. That is front runner for best name in the history of the world.

So tonight’s Game 2 for the Nets and Cavaliers should be a good one really really horrifically boring game. How can we have LeBron, JKidd, Vince Carter and yet this series is as exciting as watching the grass grow (on astro turf!). Anyways, the one name that’s getting decent attention is Sasha Pavlovic. He’s the guy that made the clean block on the Jason Kidd attempted layup. (Which begs the question, Kidd can still do a layup?)

MB (Mike Brown, we’re boys like that) is truly a believer of The Pavlovian Meister (trademark nickname!) because dude sought him out for the defensive assignment. Yo he freaking brought the sought on:

“Anytime a player looks me in the eye and says, ‘I want that assignment,’ oooh, I’ve got to believe in my player,” Brown said. “He’s going to concentrate that much harder to do the right thing.

“I looked him in the eye when he stayed on him, and the look I got, I felt confident in him. You want it? Go ahead. Pick that man up.”

And after you pick him up, go pick up the trash, the kids and do the laundry as well! So yeah Sasha is the one to watch out for as a the X factor.

OH, by the by, it just can’t be me right? Every time I see Pavlovic, I think, damn doesn’t he play for the Nuggets? And how come there’s another one of him on the Nets? The very opponent they are battling?? Me so confused!

Okay, I guess I’m just grouping a bunch of Euro ballas with shaved heads together to make my case (I could’ve easily put Darko in there too… but let’s not get carried away here…)

And it turns out Bruce Willis was a ghost. True story!

(Shh, mainstream media, I’m just kidding baby, I won’t ever talk bad about you again, I swear.. aww…come here..)

But I’m no freeloader, all this new stuff coming in has inspired me to dedicate a drawing for each of the team previews that’s coming out this month. (Hopefully I can do one a day, scheduling and/or magical fairies permitting)

Today’s dedication is for the 2 previews that are up, Celtics and the Nets:

Uhh.. I just hope the hardcore Celtic fans won’t stone me for doing a rough imaging of their golden god Red Auerbach.. the other guy is Hova.. but he kinda looks like Biggie there huh? Oh poo… maybe I should reconsider doing this homage thing afterall ?

Why is Mr. LF on the Mavericks court? Good question… I’ll get back to you..