The New Knicks President Will Suck Your Blood! April 3, 2008
Posted by TheHype in New York Knicks, Unrelatedness , 4 comments |
Five more losing seasons AH AH AH!
Craigslist Around The League December 20, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Boston Celtics, Miami Heat, New Orleans Hornets, New York Knicks, Unrelatedness, Washington Wizards , 3 comments |
Everyone loves Craigslist. And that’s not just the new comedy I’m pitching to Canada’s CTV channel. But you know, the Craigslist. Anyway, I was browsing through looking for a male stri— um, looking for “furniture” when guess what? Some of the entries seem to be striking a little close to the NBA home I heart dearly. Take a look at some samples here…
| new orleans craigslist > media coverage | email this posting to a friend |
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Looking for media hype.
Reply to: comm-1233532@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-12-19, 11:37AM EST
I’m looking for better media coverage of my sensational 2nd year as a PG in the NBA. Look, it really doesn’t matter to me one way or another, but it’s going to make my mom happy. So, help me out okay?
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Location: New Orleans
| new york craigslist > men seeking men > free stuff |
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***Free MONEY!!!***
Reply to: comm-541212@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-12-19, 12:57PM EST
Yo fellas, I have this scam going on. It’s crazy! My boss is giving me so much money and total freedom to do whatever the fuck I want. Come work with me! There are supposedly “customers”, but those sunts can’t do shit! We’ll rip one in the break room. Come on, it’s sooooo much money, like… A LOT. I can’t spend it all… in fact, I thought I spent as much as possible on as much crap as I could waiting to get fired, but NAH! I’m still here. You gotta come, it’s a freaking blast.
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Location: NYC
| washington DC craigslist > classes | email this posting to a friend |
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How to succeed successfully
Reply to: comm-8565412@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-12-20, 3:25AM EST
So your leader is down, what do you do? Cry about it? No man, you take the leadership role and let the rest of the world know you’ve been here all along. Sure, some casual spectators masquerading as “true critics” will think that OUT OF NOWHERE, you’ve become this amazing beast, helping your peers that the fallen leader could not. But they are wrong. A true leader knows he could not go any further without the True Capitaine. You should also expect to do much better when your comrade comes back. That is the real leadership aspect.
For $100/class, I will teach you this. Or, if you have straws, I take that as compensation as well.
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Location: Wash DC
| miami craigslist > volunteers | email this posting to a friend |
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EMERGENCY! Life support needed!
Reply to: comm-494615@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-12-20, 4:12AM EST
Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I’m doing real bad here folks. Two years ago, I had it all: the praise, the fame and the glory. I don’t know what happened… well, I do… my circle of “friends” (ENABLERS!) have been coasting on life ever since we made it big together. Now we’re nothing. Bupkus. I think I take the most blame, thinking all the glory and the success will come back even if I don’t try. My wife had so much “work” done and now I don’t even know how to gain respect again.
Help!!!!
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Location: Miami
| boston craigslist > missed connections |
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saw u @ work, remember me?
Reply to: comm-3484215@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-12-20, 7:41AM EST
Um, I don’t usually do this… Well, while “working” on my lame job recently I think I saw you sitting across from me. See, my job, there’s really nothing for me to do. Seriously! Nothing.
I’m supposed to call the shots, but I think the guys pretty much have it figured out… I mean, I like getting paid, but it’s like I’m Julia Louis-Dreyfuss from the 1982 to 1985 SNL seasons—USELESS! So there I was, pretending to work, and I saw you. Hope you come by my work sometime again, I’ll be doing my usual faking. So, coffee?
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Location: Boston
| memphis craigslist > misc romance |
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Fun times, but can you handle it?
Reply to: comm-34515416@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-12-20, 8:02AM EST
Here there. By day, some people would think I’m a guy’s guy, seeing as what I do is dominated by guys. But I tell ya, I can pass as a high school girl’s soccer coach, if you know what I mean. But I’m only interested in serious relationships okay? If you want to meet, I’ll be at the salon getting hi-lites
XOXO
MiMi
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Location: Memphis
Knicks Fans Blamed For Losses, Lousy Weather December 11, 2007
Posted by TheHype in New York Knicks , add a comment |
Isiah Thomas called out a fan, saying the sixth man, unlike the boogey man, is supposed to magically help tip in loose rebounds whenever Quentin Richardson misses a layup.
Loading …Thomas lectures both sides of the aisle [Knicks Knacks]
But Football In The Groin Had A Football In The Groin December 5, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Hype Tube, NBA TOONS, New York Knicks, Videos , add a comment |
Sincerest condolences to Stephon Marbury. Hang in there dude. Though this was made as a joke, hopefully in some small way it can cheer ya up…
Hmm, seems like I’m veering towards video-blogging eh… or am I? he he he (No, not really) I learned from the F-House masters that it got mentioned in NYMag, kewl! Applause for everyone!
In the meanwhile, I’m sooo close to being free I can taste it. A couple more days yo. I hear the NBA has been playing games without me. HOW DARE THEY. In any case, back soon for jokes, non-jokes and spacebars.
A Star(bury) Is Burns November 22, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Hype Podcasts, Hype Tube, NBA TOONS, New York Knicks, Videos , add a comment |
Whilst I am still a little pressed on “real” “life” projects (no fucking consideration for my blogs eh? bastards!). Here are some things I have done elsewhere which might be of interest:
– Thanks to the MLB geniuses over at the FanHouse a couple weeks back for introducing this, we have the CHRONIC(what!)CLES of Marbury. My entry is deep in the Italy wing here. But really, I’m just going to call it: this whole thing is the Best Comedy Movie of the Year.
– BETUS apparently has a sports podcast, makes sense. I was invited to slur and mutter nonsense last week. Fun was had by all, (thanks D).
– Um… BallHype has a new theme. Woo!
Where Your Head At Steph? November 14, 2007
Posted by TheHype in New York Knicks, Photoshopery, Trades , add a comment |
Stephen Colbert’s The Word Previews The NBA Pt.4 October 27, 2007
Posted by TheHype in 07/08 Season Previews, Charlotte Bobcats, Los Angeles Lakers, Memphis Grizzlies, New York Knicks, Philadelphia 76ers, Sacramento Kings, Utah Jazz , add a comment |
The finality of The Word previews concludes today (a couple days late… drinking will do that to you…) so revisit the amusement park parts 1, part 2 and part trez. On today’s slot contains various thoughts on NBA’s SECTION 4: the Bobcats, Lakers, GrizzNutzz, the Knicks, 76ers, da Kings and the Jazzies.
To cop Jim Dale for a minute: the facts are these — while 5 of the 7 teams in here fourth section truly don’t even come close to have a chance to matter in the playoffs. BUT they will be unbelievably entertaining every time they’re on the teevee screen. It’s the Law of We Have No Idea What They’ll Do. Which brings us to today’s Word:
 Darkhorse.
Yup. It’s a known fact with 30 teams competing for a title there’s bound to be 29 teams that will lose (I used a calculator to figure that one out). So with those “bad” teams, we only have one recourse. That is to guess which one can, beyond any reasonable logic, rip the league to shreds like the Warriors have last year. Just one look at the Bobstars and the Grizzlies we should all think of one thing: |
 Spontaneous Combustion.
The ‘Cats import of Jason Richardson, the uprising of Walter Herrmann (2 Rs 2 Ns bitches!) and an absent Morrison means absolute reckless abandon. The Grizz can finally start the 06 season, a year late, with Gasol finally back and having an extra Spaniard who can shoot on his side. Also adding to their venom is the PHX Sun coach set to spill the beans on how to run. These two are the positive examples, while the Knicks and the Lakers… |
 That’s right Bullet.
These guys are a must watch if only because you can’t not watch what’s going to happen. For the Knicks, you really want to them to win so that we’ll create an Anomaly Award for the next generation. For the Lakers, you’re going to be zoned into every sweat gland of Kobe and just see how much he’ll gun away to spite his boss or how much he’ll gun away to spite his boss. There is no spoon. But sure, these teams may be a joke, but the same can’t be said about the Jazz. |
 That’s a winning team right there.
Sloan, the ever immortal coach much like Arvin Sloan of Alias molded the young pups into a scrappy fighter that won’t let down for 13 rounds. The only thing that’s missing is that one sure thing that can catapult them from a sure win to a sure “close”. Just ask Tim Duncan the difference. Now on to the enigmas of this enigmatic section. The Kings and the Sixers. I truly don’t know what to say about these two squard. |
 Because they haven’t given me much to talk about.
The Kings, once a proud member of the Playoffs society is now trying to straddle the “new culture” line (Theus, Martin) while keeping around relics of their past dominance (Bibby). It’s hard to decide how much you want to root for them when they themselves aren’t rooted in an identity. And finally, the Sixers. Oh boy. Iggy, you my man, I wish you all the luck and hope you destroy the league one day… I guess what I’m trying to say is, good luck buddy, you’ll need it. |
 And that’s the word. Mmm, delicious word… |
Life Is So Much Simpler With A White-Board October 3, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Miss Gossip Cameo, New York Knicks, Videos , 2 comments |
Stop it M-Gossip! Stop being so damn funny that I have to watch the following video at least 83 times the rest of today. Who needs “words” and “analysis” when stick figures will do eh?
Randolph, Artest AND Isiah Thomas? What a Wonderful Idea! July 5, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Miss Gossip Cameo, New York Knicks, Outrageousness, Photoshopery , 1 comment so far |
And by wonderful, I mean the Madison Square Garden would renovate their building to make it look something like this:
ARTEST-ING THE MARKET [New York Post]
The Tank Machine (In T-Shirt Form!) April 16, 2007
Posted by TheHype in 2007 Draft, 2007 Playoffs, Awards, Boston Celtics, Hype Shirts, Injuries, Memphis Grizzlies, New York Knicks, Photoshopery, Portland Trailblazers , 4 comments |
You know, I’m not too sure about this ‘tanking’ business in the NBA. 1) Because I never worked in the NBA and 2) ‘tanking’ as an expression, seems… so… I dunno, 1992. Nevertheless, this enigma apparently exists in the NBA—the art of losing.
(As a side note, if the goal of a franchise is to lose on purpose, and if they succeed in doing so, then they must be winners right? Or do we need to smoke up some more?)
This year, like any other year, the usual suspects fine tuned their heavy duty tank engines down the stretch. Exhibit C-9, Subsection 12: the Boston Celtics. Ziller Time noted on la Hause that the Cees were actively engaging in the Nation of Tank, praise be with upon Lottery Balls. And in case you want some more investigativism, Wages of Win via TrueHoop, used a calculator or something gave us numbers to back all that shit up. So congrats Doc Rivers, you earned this one—go and grab yourself that cherry soda you rightly deserve champ.
Sooooo, what do I really have to contribute to all this? TEE-SHIRTS! YAAAAAAY!
Check ‘em out friends, you got your Boston colorway, Knicks orange & blue, sorta Portland-y reds/black and Memphis baby blues (I pretty much gave up figuring what colors they actually wear… what the hell is that?)
They hot cuz they fly!
So go and support your local tank artists ya heard, it might appear on the Vatican-Approved BLOG SHOW and you’ll be all like, “woah, shirt, tv, me, wear, same? cool!” [Gear of Clothing]
********
Housekeeping: my internet service providers are like the German National Curling Team: LOSERS! They think I’m Morpheus so they shut off my intertube access due to “spam”… haters. I’m currently stealing wi-fi from my neighbors (hi!!) but it’s slower than Antoine Walker. Hopefully I get things straightened out by the end of the week.
