[Stan Van Gundy]
Goodbye, goodbye-ee-eye
Leggy Bosh
Every game I look
across the hardwood floor
There you were
Your shorts down to your legs
And your legs down to the floor.

Leggy Bosh goodbye, goodbye.
Now that you are gone I’ll never see you here on your bench chair
Wish you knew how much I loved your legs and your hair
Leggy Bosh goodbye, goodbye

[Chorus]
(Hedo Turkoglu)
Leggy, Leggy, Leggy, Leggy

(Dwight Howard)
Leggy, Leggy, Leggy, Leggy

(Hedo)
Leggy, Leggy, Leggy, Leggy

(Dwight)
Leggy, Leggy, Leggy, Leggy

(Hedo)
Boshie, Boshie, Boshie, Boshie

(Dwight)
Boshie, Boshie, Boshie, Boshie

(Hedo)
Boshie, Boshie, Boshie, Boshie,

(Dwight)
Boshie, Boshie

(Both)
Leggy Bosh, goodbye, goodbye

(Stan)
I cannot fly, so I cried…
Wo-oo-wo
But that’s a lie!

[Chorus]
(Hedo)
Leggy, Leggy, Leggy, Leggy

(Dwight)
Leggy, Leggy, Leggy, Leggy

(Hedo)
Leggy, Leggy, Leggy, Leggy

(Dwight)
Leggy, Leggy, Leggy, Leggy

(Hedo)
Boshie, Boshie, Boshie, Boshie

(Dwight)
Boshie, Boshie, Boshie, Boshie

(Hedo)
Boshie, Boshie, Boshie, Boshie,

(Dwight)
Boshie, Boshie

(All three)
Leggy Bosh
*sigh*

I’ll never get,
I’ll never get to be with you
I’ll never get to share another turkey with you
I’ll never get to let you know how much I feel bad for you
I’ll never get to embarass your mediocre team on the ball floor

(T)
He’ll never get

(D)
He’ll never get

(T)
He’ll never get

(D)
He’ll never get –

(Both)
To say…

(Dwight)
Hoop, Leggy Bosh, you got it goin’ on
Wanna see you miss shots that clonk clonk clonk
See you settin’ up for passes all gone wrong
*Mumble mumble mumble*
Farewell song

(Stan)
Goodbye…

——

*random ps: listen to me and visit PLEgirls and check itz… some of them are cool and funky while one of them I find oh so weird… *

WEST

LAKERS’ Color Schemed Honda Element vs. NUGGETS’ Video Game Chair

First all, the Honda Element is the shittiest looking vehicle to have ever vehicled. But I mean, having it yellow does add a little something to it… like as if they were paying tribute to the Beatles. However, on the flip side, the Nuggets soft XBOX approved video gamey chair is just what’s needed when the team gets swept and homers need something to do. LAKERS IN 4.

MAVERICKS’ Potato Head vs. HORNETS’ TV Monitor

Well, the Mavs have a disadvantage here since Mr. Potato face’s toy is the norm for every all the teams. And yet, I can’t let go of the Hornet’s TV having half a basketball for an ass. But, I do love watching TV. HORNETS IN 6.

SPURS’ watch key vs. SUNS’ Girl Bear Cheerleader

Time… that’s all we’re ever worth. And the Spurs don’t have it anymore. And the girly Suns toy is just “bear-ly” legal. AH AHA HAHA HA. SUNS in 6.

JAZZ’s 80s colored Monster Truck vs. ROCKETS’ Cup

Jazz suck. Go McGrady. ROCKETS in 9.

EAST

CELTICS’s Haley vs. HAWKS’ Briana in Movie Tastes

Haley says she likes Elf and Pride and Prejudice while Bri is all about the Judd Apatow: Knocked Up, Superbad and Wedding Crashers for good measure. Look Haley, you can like Elf, you can like Pride and Prejudice, but you CANNOT have them both on your bio. HAWKS IN 7.

WIZARD’s Briana vs. CAVALIERS’ ?? in Interesting Facts

Briana loves math and the Cavs can’t even get someone to put a name to their dancers = FACT: Zards in 5

RAPTORS’ Nikki vs. MAGIC’s Lacey in Favorite TV Show

Nikki likes The Hills and Now & Then while Lacey likes King of Queens. Oh fuck this series is going to suck. PUSH

PISTONS’ Chelsea vs. SIXERS’ Amber in Quotes

C. is all about “Pick your battles wisely” while Ambz believes “It’s not luck… it’s talent. Luck is when talent meets opportunity.” So, obviously this resonates with their breakthrough team… thus… Sixer in—ah who am I kidding, Pistons in 2 and a half. Yeah, they’ll make the 76ers forfeit.

…and honest to Pope Benedict, yes I feel a bit pervy. But deep down, don’t we all?

Allo mes amis! What is sup friends? Long time no talk. With me being totally dead and all. Well, I caught the Orlando Magic vs. Seattle SuperSonics deal last night and OHOY! What did I notice? The man-beast himself (not the Devil Beast that tormented the 16th century France mind you, we — Locke, Hume and myself after some sips of rum — totally fucked him up back in my day) DWIGHT HOWARD.

You see, Howard posted a monster 39, 16 and 5 blocks. That’s not just scientific and philosophically bliss, that’s the goddamn nectar from the angels. Thus is my Dwight Howard Proof on the Existence of Grabbing All The Rebounds While Dropping Forty:

And even though the Sonics were on a mad hunt to try and upset a big lead, Kevin Durant saw something that he must learn or else perish forever: Objects will gravitate towards larger masses. Thus KD’s futile attempts to go at Dwight for a layup will cause the ball to be gravitated into Dwight’s hands. It’s that simple. You might as well just give the other team the ball, 2 points and maybe a hot stone massage.

I don’t know what that last part means. I’m seeing a shrink about this… his name’s Freud, any good?

Next time on Descartes’ Disseminations: How the specialists shooters, specifically white guys, have a shooting percentage proportional to the hair gel they use. Truth!

Say that nine times fast, and backwards. That sound you hear is my mind being blown. Which would make you crazy, since there’s no way you could’ve heard that!

Just how manly is Dwight Ho? So manly that there should be street signs made after him.

It begins henceforth — NBA SECTION 1 (consisting of the following teams: Raptors, Mavs, Hawks, Bulls, Magic, Warriors, Timberwolves and Suns) :

You know, one of the things that I can’t stand are teams that have no identity and weak toothpicks.

Why? Because every time you use that damn toothpick, it breaks. Argh! Oh yeah, no identity teams, right. Which brings us to today’s Word: The ReBorn Identity. Yes. Finally it looks like the axis of mediocre evil is finally taking a halt as teams in SECTION 1 have a new definition for themselves. You’ve got the team just needling the mass love in the Raptors poised to show off their free flowing style that is exciting to watch for all the reasons you’d like playing pick up basketball — everyone contributes. The Hawks and Magic will undoubtedly use their collective snub from playoff land and shared experience of losing to be a team that will not win from “surprising” you, but will win because they can. It’s like this, once you lose as bad as you have like them for the past 4-5 years, there’s only one way to go.

Up. So stick with those teams this year, if for no other reason than they need a few more fans. Now speaking of up, the Suns and Mavs are in the mortal lock for total cancellation of each other. While they have re-made their image in the last 5 years to contending squads, there is still a lot to be answered for in terms to truly bypassing the rock solid Spurs. For one thing, Mavs getting shook could be a good thing, using it to fuel their hunger. For the Suns, it doesn’t seem like they ever want to go away from the “we are truly good, we just need that liiiiiiittle alignment in the universe and we’ll be in the Finals.” Now look, the Suns are the team to root for, but there’s just always this little obstacle…

…this little obstacle called “closing”. They just can’t seal the deal, and it pains me to face this truth whenever they face an uphill battle (Game 3 in San Antonio notwithstanding). The same query faces the young guns that keep making playoff appearances that only serve to embarrass their yearly inexperience at score. IF YOU DON’T KNOW BY NOW, I’M TALKIN’ BOUT CHI-TOWN. Whereas with with the T-Wolves and Warriors, all is skyrocketing and they are taking off in flight without ever looking back

Shut it Bullet! These two teams have more in common than they would like to believe. Renewed energy and new blood to mark a sea of change to not give a shit about what happened last season. The only sadness is the absence of Jason Richardson where he embodied the free spirit of sweet release on every dunk. Juwan Howard feels his pain.

By having a new identity is like having a new movie role. You take the old bad experience and check in with a completely new one. And that’s The Word.

Chauncey Billups: $60 Mil, 5 years
First thing to purchase: 500 iPhones, one for each of his contacts

Rashard Lewis: $4274580223147 Mil, ? years
First thing to purchase: Canada

Gerald Wallace: $57 Mil, 6 years
First thing to purchase: Bethlehem Shoals‘ apartment

Jason Kapono: $24 Mil, 4 years
First thing to purchase: more hair gel

Cookie Monster: 10 000 Cookies Carrots, 10 years
First thing to purchase: the hell? you can’t buy shit with carrots, what a dumbass… carrots…

Michael Moore: $40 Mil, 2 years
First thing to purchase: a life size doll of Dr. Sanjay Gupta and burn it

Vince Carter: $61 Mil, 4 years
First thing to purchase: a new cooter