Stephen Colbert’s The Word Previews The NBA Pt.4 October 27, 2007
Posted by TheHype in 07/08 Season Previews, Charlotte Bobcats, Los Angeles Lakers, Memphis Grizzlies, New York Knicks, Philadelphia 76ers, Sacramento Kings, Utah Jazz , add a comment |
The finality of The Word previews concludes today (a couple days late… drinking will do that to you…) so revisit the amusement park parts 1, part 2 and part trez. On today’s slot contains various thoughts on NBA’s SECTION 4: the Bobcats, Lakers, GrizzNutzz, the Knicks, 76ers, da Kings and the Jazzies.
To cop Jim Dale for a minute: the facts are these — while 5 of the 7 teams in here fourth section truly don’t even come close to have a chance to matter in the playoffs. BUT they will be unbelievably entertaining every time they’re on the teevee screen. It’s the Law of We Have No Idea What They’ll Do. Which brings us to today’s Word:
 Darkhorse.
Yup. It’s a known fact with 30 teams competing for a title there’s bound to be 29 teams that will lose (I used a calculator to figure that one out). So with those “bad” teams, we only have one recourse. That is to guess which one can, beyond any reasonable logic, rip the league to shreds like the Warriors have last year. Just one look at the Bobstars and the Grizzlies we should all think of one thing: |
 Spontaneous Combustion.
The ‘Cats import of Jason Richardson, the uprising of Walter Herrmann (2 Rs 2 Ns bitches!) and an absent Morrison means absolute reckless abandon. The Grizz can finally start the 06 season, a year late, with Gasol finally back and having an extra Spaniard who can shoot on his side. Also adding to their venom is the PHX Sun coach set to spill the beans on how to run. These two are the positive examples, while the Knicks and the Lakers… |
 That’s right Bullet.
These guys are a must watch if only because you can’t not watch what’s going to happen. For the Knicks, you really want to them to win so that we’ll create an Anomaly Award for the next generation. For the Lakers, you’re going to be zoned into every sweat gland of Kobe and just see how much he’ll gun away to spite his boss or how much he’ll gun away to spite his boss. There is no spoon. But sure, these teams may be a joke, but the same can’t be said about the Jazz. |
 That’s a winning team right there.
Sloan, the ever immortal coach much like Arvin Sloan of Alias molded the young pups into a scrappy fighter that won’t let down for 13 rounds. The only thing that’s missing is that one sure thing that can catapult them from a sure win to a sure “close”. Just ask Tim Duncan the difference. Now on to the enigmas of this enigmatic section. The Kings and the Sixers. I truly don’t know what to say about these two squard. |
 Because they haven’t given me much to talk about.
The Kings, once a proud member of the Playoffs society is now trying to straddle the “new culture” line (Theus, Martin) while keeping around relics of their past dominance (Bibby). It’s hard to decide how much you want to root for them when they themselves aren’t rooted in an identity. And finally, the Sixers. Oh boy. Iggy, you my man, I wish you all the luck and hope you destroy the league one day… I guess what I’m trying to say is, good luck buddy, you’ll need it. |
 And that’s the word. Mmm, delicious word… |
WotS: Of Sex And Men? October 22, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Sacramento Kings, Word on the Streetz , add a comment |
Soooo, the intimate details of one Justin Williams, wife and stranger comes out in the police dept. Word on the Streetz would like to know the level of “ughh-ness” we’re willing to know about the NBAer’s bedroom lives…
 David Tang Scholar “So long as a video camera isn’t involved I’d say I can live with the craziest things– y’know, Cronenberg shit!!”  Jill Monroe Ice Sculptor “3-some? Pssht, that’s so 90s. It’s all about the 4.2-somes in 2007. Think about it.”  Paris Hilton Person “Hey nobody called me!” |
Is His Nickname Just A Teeny Bit Tacky? October 2, 2007
Posted by TheHype in International Ball, Sacramento Kings, Videos , 4 comments |
As I put up a very important and lengthy post on Spencer Hawes’ unbe-knee-vable injury before he even started training camp for the Kings over at the F-House, I went over to Sam Amick’s blog to see what else is up. Lo and behold, da Kings might (like, I’m guess 0%) of getting a former And1 player on its roster, specifically, this guy:
So what’s my problem? Well, it’s not really a problem, but you see in that clip he’s balling with a bunch of Asians, probably Chinese right? And well, Sam reveals his And1 moniker:
As a bit of a teaser, camp invite Rashid Byrd is an interesting story who I’ll talk more about later this week in the paper. Among other things, the 7-foot-1 big man is a former And1 player who was known as “Seven and Sum Change.”
Dude. I mean, really, it’s not offensive to me at all. Like back in high school when dumbasses would go for that joke trying to make fun of Chinese names? I can’t say that I was mad, only sad… for them. Because of how unfunny it is. And being unfunny is the greatest crime of all n’est pas?
Anyway, I wonder if Mr. Byrd dropped the alias when he was introducing himself to the group of Chinese playas, only because seriously? Not that classy.
Open Letter to Ron Artest, From Little Billy: March 6, 2007
Posted by TheHype in NBA TOONS, Outrageousness, Sacramento Kings , add a comment |
co-signed: TheHype
ps: to think I did a ‘toon for you…
DJ, Drop That Beat October 30, 2006
Posted by TheHype in NBA TOONS, Sacramento Kings , 4 comments |
Wow, Sactown Royalty ends the bloggers preview on a crazy note as they pose 93 Questions (but a bitch ain’t one..) I barely made it to #5. Oh, there’re answers too! (ugh, that reminds me exam season is knocking at the door..go, away!)
We, as well, bid adieu to the Previews. Now that the L is back on the screen, we’ll focus on real matters, just like all the cool kids—but still we’ll either make silly doodles and/or mindless photoshopping about it instead of deep insight…
And what of the NBA TOONS? Oh, it’ll come back soon, just now they’ll take a 20 second timeout (until they come out of the huddle and see the opposing team’s lineup and calls for a full)
NBA Action, booya!
What Comes Before Part B? Part-AY! October 21, 2006
Posted by TheHype in Photoshopery, Sacramento Kings , 2 comments |
From notre frère d’une autre mère, Bench Renaldo, brings to light Eric Musselman’s DUI after a preseason win. If we won against Utah, in preseason? Psfff, hell ya we celebrate til the break of dawn! WOooo!
Prez of bball operations Petrie says:
“On behalf of the Kings organization, we are very disappointed in the poor personal behavior which precipitated this incident. We also believe Eric will face this adversity honestly and appropriately.”
I bet the Maloofs on the other hand would give a statement to the like of:
YEAH! That’s my boy Eric! You crazy rascal you! Free passes to the Palms for LIFE! BAAH!!
We really shouldn’t be poking fun at drunk driving. We’ll try harder to be less crass next time (which will last about a week..)
