Haphazard Live Blogging Warriors vs. Suns April 14, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Golden State Warriors, Live Blogging, Phoenix Suns , 2 comments |
In what seem to be a coincidental annual thing here, I’m live blogging an end of season game that means big bucks for the teams involved.
I really want the Beard to win. Let’s see how this baby flies shan’t we?
1st Q:
– So that we’re clear, the Warrior’s equipment manager totally messed with Melo’s breathaliser right?
– Thunder Dan got one too many thunder tans (ba da ching!)
– Shaq’s old and slow and fat and all that, but he can still intimidate a player to lose the ball as they go up for a shot (ahem Monta)
– Fact: this game already has 13 trillion layups
– Okay some tall guy not named Bierdrins just vaccumed Barbosa’s shot. I’d buy a ticket back to Brazil if that happened to me. Fuck it, I’d still want to go to Brazil regardless.
– Broadcast team hyping “planetorange.net” as a social network/blog community thingy…verdict: it’s ugly.
– Grant Hill wants to score really bad guys. Like, bad.
2nd Q:
– 33-30 with Pietrius getting the and1. Psst, it’s a little late for the MVP
– Diaw’s strategy tonight: get the ball from Hill, drive, pass it back to Hill (if Hill passes back to Diaw, he’ll still give it back)
– Uh, that going 90mph Grant Hill thing just kinda stopped short here…looks like he pulled something
– he’s still hanging around though, a good signage
– Ellis is a freak.
– Lemme clarify: Dude could be a leaner more explosive Chris Paul because he basically thought “hey, I want to get to point B and finish with [such and such] shot” and does it. HE’S A FREAKING GRASSHOPPER
– New place to get pen name if ever I move to Hollywood — the spam box: “Elywn Bartholomew”
– Oh, right: 65-52 with 2mins left in the half.
– I imagine as Nash threads another sick pass to a tomahawking Amare, Shaq gets up and cheers uproariously—until Brian Skinner whispers in his ear: “big fella, that wasn’t you…you’re still on the bench”. To which Shaq dies a little inside.
3rd Queue:
– Down 13, battling for their playoff (spot) lives and Baron isn’t on. WHAT UP?
– Ooooooh, so it’s a lane violation when Shaq hits a FT… haters.
– Act’n Jack’n wants to be a hero!! Yay my hero!! 78-73
– Related note: now, whenever I hit a 3 pointer at the gym, my mind will only mentally register it as 2 points, then the additional 1 will only come up along a SOUTHWEST AIRLINES ad.
– Grant Hill’s strained groin update, brought to you by SOUTHWEST AIRLINES
– Baron Davis’s ‘tude is upsetting Nellie’s beer belly, sponsored by SOUTHWEST AIRLINES
– SOUTHWEST AIRLINES SOUTHWEST AIRLINES SOUTHWEST AIRLINES SOUTHWEST AIRLINES SOUTHWEST AIRLINES SOUTHWEST AIRLINES SOUTHWEST AIRLINES
– 82-80 without BDiddy. Methinks this means that I have to start a sentence without “Methinks”
– 82-82!!
– STEPHEN JACKSON FOR VICE-PRESIDENT. Your call Obama.
– At this point, I’d just like this 94-86 3rd quarter end. Just like that. You know? Don’t want to spoil a good thing. Like that very sweet strawberry, once you had that, you don’t want another one that might not be quite as good.
4th Quail
– If someone doesn’t spontaneously combust in this last quarter then I’ll be a mad customer.
– Wow! Back to back plays with Shaq getting a perfect lob and then Pietrius answers back…yet the only thing feel more important is that cute girl next to the baseline camera man taking a sip of water.
– Telling that not only is Baron not in the game, but you can’t even see him with the rest of the players on the bench
– Apologies, 107-101 as Amare swims for a dunk.
– 109-107 as the Warriors need to out start Worrioring
– 109-109 and1 for STAT…Baron Baron Baron
– Oh.. oh oh..
– C’est finis…sucks that the Bay Area crowd can’t be hyphed in the postseason…
The Kobe Left Cheek Bleeding Cut Awards March 25, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Golden State Warriors, Los Angeles Lakers, Photoshopery, Referees , 2 comments |
In honor of Kobe bleeding like crazy last night, here is the inaugural Kobe Left Cheek Bleeding Cut Awards:
First up: BOB DELANEY:
He gets 5 Kobe Bleeding Cuts for blowing the call on Monta Ellis/Derek Fisher flop. I mean, one quick look at the two recent comments on here site and you can tell the Yay Area is not thrilled with the once undercover FBI agent.
You just hate when that happens, which makes us all wonder if that’s why he “quit” the agency (ahem ahem—going something like this:
FBI Director: Hey Bob
Delaney: Yeah?
FBI Director: You know that guy you let go because you thought he wasn’t a gangster?
Delaney: Sure.
FBI Director: Sssssssssss… yeah… we just found out.. he really was a G
Delaney: Oh. He’s good.
FBI Director: You’re fired.
Derek Fisher:
D-Fish gets 3 Bleeding Cuts. Sure he flopped like there’s a national crisis in flop shortage and thought by getting one in would be his version of a stimulus package.
Not so my friend. He did what he had to do to get the win, that’s it. I mean, you wouldn’t do any less for your weekend warriors would you? But there comes a time when integrity begets reputation and perhaps he could have re-done it in a more classier way.
It was nice move though, I gots to admit. That was like a Street Fighter II Turbo, takedown, all he needed was the +25pts and level damage bar with a complete finishing move to go into the bonus car wreaking round.
Philly Beating Boston
Dre Iggy and his band of ragtag misfits gets 1 Bleeding Cheek. I swear to you I have not watched a single Philly game this whole year. Why would I lie to you?
I was under the impression that they’d be the the NBA team equivalent to the great city of Atlantis (side question.. why is it the “CITY” of Atlantis? What country is it from? If there was a country, how come they just moved on like… “Well, there goes Atlantis, better find a detour to get to the in-laws’ place”???)
Anyhow, beating Boston is no small feat when your main arsenal is purely on dunks. Good on you Andre and the team of Phil-A!
ME
Yes yes yes, I must bring myself into the conversation once again.
Why?
Well, you see, I hurt my toe last night.
I got a boo-boo.
It’s serious business.
I think I need to call in a sick day
It looks infected.
Lamar Odom’s Arms
He’s gotta get that checked out pronto! Getting 21 rebounds last night and 22 the previous night. That deserves 4 Bleeding Cheeks.
Either he’s stolen some of the Dwight Howard man juice (yes, now that image isn’t GOING ANYWHERE MUWAHAHAHA) or GSW really need to up its size when they battle the Lakers come playoffs.
Getting boards is hard, I know because I’m a certified expert. My buddy is 5′2 I think, but somehow he always manages to grab missed shots and put it back. I think he cheats a lot, like tiny push offs here and there, but they’re always timely, at the right moment. God I want to punch him for consistently beating us with that.
I guess the point I’m trying to make is that: I need to box out more. The end.
Teh Hotness! January 8, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Denver Nuggets, Golden State Warriors, Linkage, Phoenix Suns, Photoshopery, San Antonio Spurs , 3 comments |
Moments When I Feel Like The League Hates Me: last night. Because I had no access to those two hawwt games. Judging just by the final scores I know one of these things happened: Steve Nash hits daggers and passes; Iverson gets an impossible lay-up, Baron dunks on someone, and Manu’s bald spot makes a 3 pointer.
Yet I had to miss it all. OH SIGH-ness!
On the other hand, I read some pretty awesome blog posts, check ‘em:
– T.A.I. has a great recap of The Wire. More, more!
– Holy crap Steve Nash lives in Xanadu!
– Mike Tillery has an amazingly (and long… or amazingly long) feature about passing the torch. I need to clear my schedule to finish that.
– YAYsports is apparently back with a vengeance against all things either real or unreal with a Carny to boot
Upset City Planet: Holy#$&*%!!!!!!! May 4, 2007
Posted by TheHype in 2007 Playoffs, Awards, Dallas Mavericks, Golden State Warriors, Live Blogging, Outrageousness , 2 comments |
> everything else.
(Don’t) Throw Ya Hands In The Air, Like You Just Don’t Care April 26, 2007
Posted by TheHype in 2007 All Star Game, 2007 Playoffs, Golden State Warriors, Outrageousness, Photoshopery, Referees , add a comment |
Ah the majestic BEARD has been robbed a quarter of game action last night. Though, the way I saw things, if the Warriors hadn’t been complaining so much in almost all the action, perhaps the refs wouldn’t have pulled that quick of a trigger? We shall never know.
Then again, some of the calls seemed iffy, but that can’t be changed — with two teams hungry: Mavericks because they just got bitch slapped in Game 1 and need to smack back their pimp hand and Golden State because they are greedy bastards in trying to steal another game.
TONIGHT’S ACTION:
De-3 VS. Orlando Bloom: Dwight will posterize someone tonight — it might even be Flip Saunders.
Rox VS. Mormons: 3-0 man, it’s so happening. Why? Because the tears of Andrei will make the Jazz players slip all over the place. YEAH I SAID IT
Suns VS. ChokeShow: Well, can’t really call them Chokers… since they’ve got no talent to begin with, I guess I’m just referring to the fact that they couldn’t even attempt to make it close — ahhhh who am I kidding, the Lakers plain suck. The Association really wants to punch somebody.
Try to explain the West...
