Goodbye Leggy Bosh April 28, 2008
Posted by TheHype in 2008 Playoffs, Orlando Magic, Toronto Raptors , 3 comments |
Cerebral head bumps to Mr. Kerby for getting this into my head so as a result, the following should be sung whilst listening to FOC (video)
[Stan Van Gundy]
Goodbye, goodbye-ee-eye
Leggy Bosh
Every game I look
across the hardwood floor
There you were
Your shorts down to your legs
And your legs down to the floor.
Leggy Bosh goodbye, goodbye.
Now that you are gone I’ll never see you here on your bench chair
Wish you knew how much I loved your legs and your hair
Leggy Bosh goodbye, goodbye
When New Media Attacks January 7, 2008
Posted by TheHype in 2008 All Star Game, Marketing, Toronto Raptors , add a comment |
Last week, the world was witness to the satirist that is Chris Bosh, PF of the Toronto Raptors. He sure has that funny bonez. Obviously, since I’m the purveyor of “all things basketball players being funny with media”, I already saw Bosh’s ha-ha skills coming
So all that remains to be asked is:
Loading …Live Blog: Celtics At Raptors On CBC (Seriously!) November 4, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Boston Celtics, Live Blogging, Toronto Raptors , 4 comments |
0:02:2 - Walter. Ray. Allen. Wins it. 98-95. I’m taking a nap
0:04.4 - Terrance. Jerod. Ford. Ties it.
0:07.8 - They went for the best basket instead of the fast tie from a driving TJ. Shows how much I know… not much.
0:18 - Free throw time, and Kevin nails only 1 of 2… time to draw up a play of Nick Lachey.
0:22 - All those haters out there that still say Garnett isn’t clutch should see this game. KG is torching the overtime over a mighty good defender in Bosh. 92-88
OT 2:33 - 85-85 just as Ray Ray and Ford trade 3s and KG and Bosh trade hoops. Hmm, CBC might have to bump Rick Mercer if this goes on any further!
End of Regulation - Pierce was iso’d from beginning to end and had a shot he normally makes, but yay for us, another 5 mins of missed shots! HUZZAH!
0:31 - Pop quiz hot shot, you’re down 2. Bosh is hot right now, what are you going to do? Yes, that’s right, don’t you dare drive slower than 55MPH
0:52 - James Posey wins the Lifetime Achievement Award for flopping
1:38 - Going back to Bosh.. I don’t know why KG isn’t defending him 78-76
2:38 - It’s a ball game folks 75-74 after Kapono and Posey trade 3s and Bosh hitting FTs
We’re stuck on 70-67 after several turnovers. I’m stuck on Falling-Asleep
7:00 - I love Yahoo’s description of play-by-play “8:53 BOS - Bad pass by J. Posey”
7:52 - 70 -66, thank you 3 point arc
10:16 - This just in: Ray Allen can shoot
10: 30 - It’s 66-58 and I like to applaud the Dinos for listening and not even try to guard Bri-Scal. Clunk clunk clunk
4th QT 11:06 - Man, seeing Bosh go at Garnett and working hard to get the bucket… *tear*… that young pup is all grown up I tells ya
2:13 - Love the way the Celtics are passing the ball to the open man. But uh- tip to the Raptors, DON’T CLOSE IN ON SCALABRINE. when you have Eddie House open
4:33 - YES! Past the 50 point mark! Pizzas for everyone! 53-45 Cs
3rd QT 10:39 - KG, meet your younger self at the rim, Bosh. Rejected yo 40-35
Halftime: 38-31… let me reiterate; THIRTY-EIGHT TO THIRTY-ONE. I need a beer, or 10.
1:41 - I blame this horrible game on CBC. Peter Mansbridge, you’re on notice. 37-26
3:52 - Garnett and co. totally shutting down Bosh and Bargs, yeah, pretty hard to win when your stars don’t have any points up on the big board
6:06 - You wouldn’t know it, but grass is growing on my tv set this game is so slow 30-22
8:33 - The defensive stops here, some 3s dropped shots here (courtesy of the Dazzling Delfino) the Raptors cut it to 23-22
2nd QT 10:45 - Holy crap Scott Pollard is playing some basketball! That hasn’t happened since 2002!
End of 1st - 23-14 Boston and it still looks weird to see KG in green.
2:08 - Kapono is actually more than 3 point guy and a 98 Degrees member lookalike, case in point: denied a lowpost pass to Pierce and ran the court to get a dish from Ford to finish a lay up
4:11 - 16-8, the Dinos aren’t at their usual passibility, credit goes to the tight defense. But yeah, one-on-one isn’t Toronto’s game
6:54 - Rondo turns it over. Dude, you got 3 HoF by your side, that’s not how you get on their good side. 7-2 Cs
9:20 - Bargs’s footwork defies any sort of reality based physics. You can’t tell if it’s traveling or just magic
1st QT 12:00 - Since Doc Rivers is out with the passing of a family member, I’m looking at this game as one of those “win it for coach y’all!” from the Celtics
– Pre-Game: George Stoumbasdfabnababoulous goes over all the disappoints and the new found glory of the Raps. It might seem like a stereotype for one to associate “edgy”, “cool”, “Greek” with rock clothing, but George pulls it off. + 20 Canadian points to him (y’know since it’s worth more than the U.S. dollar)
Ah, the Crown Corporation up here in Snowsville finally gets to show some Raptor games for those farm hillbillies in Alberta (I kid I kid… no one watches basketball in Alberta when watching wheat grow is so much more interesting!).
Anyway, I jot down notes here when the game starts up in a couple of tics. And I’m doing it REVERSE style! BOOM!
Great Moments In Awkward History October 23, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Toronto Raptors , 2 comments |
Case #9328: Chris Bosh and Mats Sundin:
Bosh exchanged awkward silences with Sundin. “We spoke a little bit,” said Bosh. “I mean, he has a quiet demeanour. I could assume that, because we don’t know each other. So the initial meeting, we’re not going to talk much …”
But then… as the night went on… both men curiously excused themselves from the party at the very same time. What happened then on? I won’t tell.
XOXO
Gossip Girl
(Uh— yeah… I watch that show with one eye so… don’t judge me!)
Tanenbaum a host with the most (TheStar.com)
The Future of NBA Video Podcast is Here, and Its Name is Chris Bosh July 2, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Toronto Raptors, Trades , 2 comments |
Oui oui, it was the most joyous of Canadian days yesterday for it was THE Canada Day son! It also rained. It freakin always rains on Canada Day here in the M-T-L. Goddamn mooses.
So a couple of months back we brought up the attention to Mr. Chris Bosh’s venture into the podcast land. Now apparently he’s stepping things up with a VIDEO podcast going along with the audio. I watched a bit and dude’s so into it I felt like bottling his enthusiasm and sell it on the black market.
It’s nothing spectacularizing, basically it’s just the raw podcast session videotaped… without the snazzy music… I dunno, it’s not that amazing if you think about it… eh.. shit, well you know what, I thought it’s interesting that Chris is hosting his own show in a media format that doesn’t feel like he’s trying too hard (like ahem, dudes trying to rap…) and he’s just chatting it up, fun stuff. Have a lookie if you have the time here (hmm, that felt a little too marketing to me… I swear I wasn’t paid for this… yet, you listenin’ Bosh?!)
In other, more relevant, apparently Jason “The Lost Member of 98 Degrees” Kapano is joining the Raptors. For those counting at home, the roster is now 239% made up of shooters. Also, J-Peezy now joins Luke Jackson and Kris Humphries as being actually the only legit white boyz on a team full of Euros/Intn masquerading as whiteys (Andrea Bargnani, Jose Calderon, Jorge Garbajosa, Carlos Delfino, Rasho Nesterovic, Uros Slokar plus newest draft dude Giorgos Printezis) and a “he looks white, but I’m not sure” guy (Anthony Parker)
Good stuff I say for Raptors, Kapono is deadly from 3pt land (when he’s not being counted on as the only scorer like Miami needed him down the stretch last season) especially with the fact that Morris Peterson might not be back. He’ll get pleeenty of open looks now that Chris Bosh will be personally offended if he’s not double teamed.
Thursday Thumbtacks: Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, MUST LOSE! April 12, 2007
Posted by TheHype in 2007 Playoffs, Linkage, Toronto Raptors , add a comment |
That was a good tv season. See LOST? A show can be good, you should try it sometime. The title of course refers a phrase from the (Friday Night Lights) show, though it is a little modified, as it is about…
… the freakin’ Utah Jazz. What the eff? Dropping 5 straight? Somewhere that can’t be good with just a couple games left as Playoffs come around. Considering the fact that they might want to have a little bit of push too as they are likely to meet the not-so-easy Houston Rockets.
On to the gridiron ‘tacks!
- Thanks to Steinz for pointing this out: Chris Bosh is blogging! In it, he mentions how he wants people to know he’s pretty funny, and not the laconic power forward Canada’s grown to appreciate. And I believe him! After taking a listen to his Podcast[mp3], dude’s got a fun personality. Could turn out to be a good show—they (it’s with a buddy Devo Brown) riff on current events and not all about basketball, pretty neat
- Henry Abbott asks why don’t more Chinese kids wear Yao Ming jerseys? For what it’s worth, I don’t have any jerseys …
- Sure Mutombo and Kevin Willis are old, but they aint got nuttin’ on this mothertrucker
- Yi Jianlian is going to pre-draft camps, nothing that surprising really, except this tidbit from the article:
In November, Yi’s club cleared the hip-hop music loving teenager to enter the 2007 NBA draft on June 28. Yi, reportedly sought by several clubs, is likely to be one of the top picks.
I’ve seen that reported a couple times, the “likes hip-hop” music thing, elsewhere about Yi… and I just wonder, did they really have to include that “interesting” factoid? Is that how he’s going to be portrayed to the basketball world that reads the newswires? “Hey you hear about this Jianlian kid? No? Well, check this out: He likes hip-hop! Yeah! No shit! It’s all right here! Fuck yeah he’s probably good!”
Alrighty, to lazy it out the rest of the way:
Shaq’s awesome.
NBA Toons: This Is Why The Raptors Are Good April 10, 2007
Posted by TheHype in NBA TOONS, Toronto Raptors , 4 comments |
Remind me never to challenge a prehistoric reptile… can’t believe I fell for that, damnit.
No seriously, if you’re still wondering whether or not to take the Toronto Raptors seriously or mildly think of them as that “awww, look that them… they made the playoffs, AND got the Atlantic Div crown, SOOOO CUUUTE!” then think no more.
Still thinking? Then stop it! Because they’re a fun team to root for—emphasis on the word ‘team’.
It’s so simple how these guys play: Bosh will tear up anyone inside, if he gets doubled, pass it to any other players on his team and they either make their open shots, or skip it around again for even open-er shots. It’s as simple as deactivating a bomb while serving ice cream!
Anyways, watch them come playoff time, you won’t be disappointed (in case you end up disappointed, this conversation never happened.)
Random Clip of the Day: Alanis Morissette is fucking hilarious.
Magic 8 Ball Says … Time to Sink or Swim March 28, 2007
Posted by TheHype in 2007 Playoffs, Awards, Dallas Mavericks, Injuries , 2 comments |
Every Wednesday from now until the playoffs (or eternity, whichever comes first), the Unrelatedness shall embark on a writing quest to look at which teams will look to make a substantial impact in the postseason… and the latest ‘trends’… whatever the hell that is.
Maverick wasn’t just a title for the lame movie starring renowned Jewish historian Mel Gibson, it is also the name of the Dallas squad who are very good at playing the sport where participants bounce a spherical object into a netted goal. (Apologies all around if I somehow associated the Mavs with Gibson… that’s just the way my mind went… I’m not taking it back though!) You see, the Dallas Mavericks aren’t just good, they are like that kid in grade school that KNOWS EVERYTHING: how they get the different colours in the fireworks — they know it; How you can make your own recycled paper — they know how; Why the Titanic is causing environment concerns — Billy Taylor knows why! God, such a prick.
umm… where was I… oh yea, NBA: Look, Dirk & Co. are so well oiled up right now, Ron Jeremy is jealous. The game against PHX notwitstanding (because it was a fantasic game either way), Mavs know how to close out games. You can’t buy mental toughness like that at Chinatown no matter how much Mr. Cheng swears to you his ‘mental toughness dried cow liver’ is worth your $25!
Sunny Delight is a drink I’ve never actually drank in my life. True fact. However, the Phoenix Suns on the other hand, I just can’t get enough of even if they came in liquid form. As solid as they have been this year… and they’re probably solid-er than their previous two transcendent seasons, I hope to Buddha that they make it to the Finals. I’m by no means saying their season and reputation is “lost” or whatever, but just to legitimize their status as contender — not just in the regular season — is something they need in order to play the same way next year.
Hey, I love their style as much as anyone, that is why it means that much more to see them at the biggest stage.
Spur-tas-tic? I dunno about you, but the SanAn-ton-io (probably not spelled that way) Spurs remind me of the original Drunken Master. One look at them, you’re thinking they couldn’t hold water to Uncle Dan over at the YMCA Rec League. But nay my friends, that is how the Drunken Master works… they booze all day, going tipsy on you, letting you think they can’t even stand on their own two feet, then — BAM! — 3rd Form, 2nd Stage Palm Grasp in the jugular punks!
On an entirely unrelatedness note in regards to the Spurs: I really hate their metallic off-jersey. Please destroy those poste haste.
The Beast of the East is something I competely made up. It doesn’t exist. It’s like the Tooth Fairy, Loch Ness and the Moon Landing, all fabrications of a madman. Who is going to represent the East this year with an iron fist?
The Heat probably are the safest/weirdest bet as they somehow made a bet with the devil to rehab Dwyane Wade as fast as possible while maximizing their games. When/should Wade come back as post-season hits, their style of play is a hassle to play with, big or small. Detroit looks to be tuning it up for the final stages and could very well avenge their loss to Miami as well. Cavaliers: screw them, I don’t believe in them, their defense won’t be able to contain the aforementioned other two squadrons of death. Chi-town’s military base team is getting everyone amped up for their long run, and they very well could do it… but their game is fashioned so tight, I feel as though someone/something’s going to pop (probably one of Skiles’s veins…)
Taking a look at tonight’s matchups… holy shit there’s a lot of games on! Philly at D.C.: help each other out, Oden for Division title…… Indiana at Joisay: battle of hot mediocrity action…… Miami at T-Dot: if the Dinos are capable of winning this one, they will own this year’s title for Resilient Team…… and finally Bucks at Dallas: it will look like that scene at the beginning of Scarface……
Chris Bosh Is A Walking Flagrant Foul January 14, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Boston Celtics, Hype Tube, Outrageousness, Referees, Toronto Raptors, Videos , 3 comments |
Y’know, reff’in with the NWA NBA is hard… hardcore. I mean, how else are you supposed to call ambiguous action like this?
Another example of this arose as I was tv surfin’, half watching some of the Raps/Celtics game last Friday that was at the TD Banknorth arena. (Side note: what up with TD center being super electronic gadget heavy—LCD screens on the scorer’s table.. and two shot clocks on each basket?? I’m sure soon the floor will be made of some sort of LCD-Wood hybrid…) ANYWAY, the thug Chris Bosh got served up a tech from referee Pat Fraher after he.. well, see for yourself:
That clip (which I edited!! go me!) shows you right up to the tech, but didn’t you see how uncontrolled Bosh was?? Unnecessary taunting for 0.005 seconds after he eviscerated poor Olowokandi’s dignity (or what’s left of it)! Didn’t you see how much that warranted a tech? Distasteful! He.. he should be sent to sensitivity camp, erroneous! Exclamation points!
In other Non-Sarcasm Land: The “hoo-hoo!” sound in the clip came from
NBATV’s Gail Goodrich, this is he on the right. Now, as someone that still has several more years left of subscription with “being hip wit da lingo”, I just can’t believe Gail yelped “hoo-hoo!” like he were with his homeboys. Damnit Gail, don’t steal from the youth!
Extra: So you know I sorta empathize with reffin’: Rec-League Refereeing
Lazy Sunday December 3, 2006
Posted by TheHype in NBA TOONS, Toronto Raptors , 5 comments |
As in I’m a lazy person. Just a Chris Bosh splash pic, no particular write up, hope Raps fans enjoy! Oh, and I’m convinced every player on the Knicks is fat.
Try to explain the West...
