Goodbye Leggy Bosh April 28, 2008
Posted by TheHype in 2008 Playoffs, Orlando Magic, Toronto Raptors , 3 comments |
Cerebral head bumps to Mr. Kerby for getting this into my head so as a result, the following should be sung whilst listening to FOC (video)
[Stan Van Gundy]
Goodbye, goodbye-ee-eye
Leggy Bosh
Every game I look
across the hardwood floor
There you were
Your shorts down to your legs
And your legs down to the floor.
Leggy Bosh goodbye, goodbye.
Now that you are gone I’ll never see you here on your bench chair
Wish you knew how much I loved your legs and your hair
Leggy Bosh goodbye, goodbye
WotS: This Ones Goes Out To Dwight’s Baby’s Mamas January 14, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Orlando Magic, Word on the Streetz , 2 comments |
Dwight Howard is a daddy. Yay! Sincere congrats from TheHypeGuy (big fan!). Here’s hoping you don’t tomahawk the kid by accident. Word on the Streetz reacts AS IT HAPPENS…
 Lenny Wander Inventor “Wow! Unexpected! Exclamation points!”  Joan Leigh Sword Wielder “Just imagine, in 21 short years, Dwight Jr. will be able to dominate the league with the 8-time Champs the Tribeca Knicks!”  Shawn Kemp Rain Man “So…” |
The All-Extra-Terrestrial Team December 2, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Cleveland Cavaliers, Hype Tube, Los Angeles Clippers, Orlando Magic, TV Shows, Videos , 5 comments |
Sorry, couldn’t find a naked NBA pictures. I know man, I know.
NBA Physics Vol. I November 29, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Orlando Magic, Photoshopery , 1 comment so far |
(Wow! You won’t believe this — and you really shouldn’t — Monsieur René Descartes has some NBA thinkings that he wanted to share over here at The Unrelatedness. By jove, who am I to complain! Take it away Re-Re…)
Allo mes amis! What is sup friends? Long time no talk. With me being totally dead and all. Well, I caught the Orlando Magic vs. Seattle SuperSonics deal last night and OHOY! What did I notice? The man-beast himself (not the Devil Beast that tormented the 16th century France mind you, we — Locke, Hume and myself after some sips of rum — totally fucked him up back in my day) DWIGHT HOWARD.
You see, Howard posted a monster 39, 16 and 5 blocks. That’s not just scientific and philosophically bliss, that’s the goddamn nectar from the angels. Thus is my Dwight Howard Proof on the Existence of Grabbing All The Rebounds While Dropping Forty:
And even though the Sonics were on a mad hunt to try and upset a big lead, Kevin Durant saw something that he must learn or else perish forever: Objects will gravitate towards larger masses. Thus KD’s futile attempts to go at Dwight for a layup will cause the ball to be gravitated into Dwight’s hands. It’s that simple. You might as well just give the other team the ball, 2 points and maybe a hot stone massage.
I don’t know what that last part means. I’m seeing a shrink about this… his name’s Freud, any good?
Next time on Descartes’ Disseminations: How the specialists shooters, specifically white guys, have a shooting percentage proportional to the hair gel they use. Truth!
Dwight Howard Should Be Immortalized November 1, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Orlando Magic , 1 comment so far |
Just how manly is Dwight Ho? So manly that there should be street signs made after him.
David Stern: “12 feet basketball net? No no, that’s 2009″ February 16, 2007
Posted by TheHype in 2007 All Star Game, Orlando Magic, Photoshopery , 2 comments |
Insider Marc Stein reported that Young Thunder Dwight
Howard was planning on doing something, that’s well, insane-tastic:
Orlando sources report that Howard has been practicing a couple wicked maneuvers that might inject this dying competition with the ingenuity/originality it desperately needs. One is a 360 throwdown with the rim hiked to 12 feet, two feet higher than regulation. The other sets the rim at 11 1/2 feet and has Howard purportedly going between his legs with the ball in mid-air before flushing.
(I don’t have Insider myself, cuz besides spending my precious little cash on 80s jukeboxes, I’m a proud “Outsider”.)
Anyway, blah blah league is stupid, David Stern unbelievably pimp-smacks his fans again blah blah. What the article didn’t tell you though, was that Howard has a couple of fail safe backup dunks, checkz ‘em out:
Caption: (Above) Giraffe says “on no!” Dwight says “oh yes! suck on that bitch!”
(Left) ooooh SNAP, it’s the C-141B Starlifter dunk son!
Predictions:
Celeb All Star game: Lame, but I’m picking da East. They have Donald Faison! Chocolate Bear!
Rookie Challenge: Lamer, but I’m calling ROOKS! And I’m calling an Il Mago (Andrea Bargnani) monster flush on Bogut!
Try to explain the West...
