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Morning Drive: Get Out Of The Way March 3, 2008

Posted by TheHype in Chicago Bulls, Cleveland Cavaliers, Photoshopery , add a comment |


Slama-jama-Obama! Illustration: TheHypeWatch out!

When you see the reigning lion running full steam into your defense, do the sensible thing any driver in the mist of the NBA would do: Pull the hand break and jump the fuck out of the car—Jason Statham style.

You do not want to get punked on national tee-vee. In fact, that’s 5 demerit points right there.

Things to look out for in avoiding this:

It’s probably when your team is up or very close in points against this type of road subject that your internal hazard light should flicker. Once you’ve acknowledged that this is the case, hold on tight because the thunder will come down any moment. Be sure to report it to the insurance that it was their fault.

LeBron on Deng [YouTube]

Morning Drive: Where student basketball drivers get to learn their basic theory before approaching daddy’s BMW Z4, because you’ll fuck it up bad, real bad.

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While You Were Slapping: Boston Can’t Be Stopped November 15, 2007

Posted by TheHype in Boston Celtics , 1 comment so far |

Lucky Number Seven: That’s seven in a row to start the season for the Celtics. And they can easily finish the rest of November with a perfect record — Cleveland would give them a “challenge” if only for having the rep of going to the Finals last July, other than that, they’re horrible. Lakers I anticipate might upset because they’re just cowboys like that.

Welcome to Miami, Thank You For Visiting Miami: I can’t believe this team got a ring two years ago. The past 4 champs are always still top tier (Spurs, Detroit and 00 era Lakers) years after their Finals appearances while the Heat keep thinking that magical fairy dust that is “We’ll Turn It Up Later” will work. It so won’t. See exhibit A: losing to a winless, young Seattle team.

Like Clockwork: T-Mac tweaked something that isn’t anything damaging — in fact, he usually plays outta his mind after he comes back, however, if we can bottle his yearly tweaks and bumps into lottery ticket luck, I’d be $25 richer.

In Other News: Truth About It dot net is making me think I’m out of a job with some rad-manovic ’shops. But as soon as I saw a The Wire reference, alls is good in the world.

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While You Were Slapping: Chewy Reviews November 14, 2007

Posted by TheHype in Unrelatedness , add a comment |

Losing When You’re Not Supposed To: Detroit gets a handful from the very soon to be MIP LeMarcus Aldridge’s 22 and 10 while Pau Gasol’s beard chipped in 26, 6 and 3 to muff McGrady’s “eh” 41 points. What say you Chewbacca?

Chewy: RRRRrrrrrrRRRRRRRR!

They Suck, We Know: The zombie you see out there is Shaq and he’s been eating too many brains to have any type of lift since the Bobcats ran them out of the gym. Meanwhile Kevin Durant keeps those volumes shot coming, but the wins aren’t.

Chewy? RrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRrr!

Status Quo: Knicks no Marbury, no problem! They can lose to the Suns with or without him! Boston still rolling, Dallas and San An in championship form.

Chewy sez: rrRRrrrrrRR!

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While You Were Slapping: CP3 FTW! November 13, 2007

Posted by TheHype in Unrelatedness , add a comment |

Vince Carter’s Tears: Chris Paul decides that New Jersey just isn’t worthy of a W so he just goes and wins the game all by his-self with a layup in the dying seconds of the game. When someone contacted Carter to inquire about his ankle, either a 4 year old girl was screaming or that’s how he really sounds like.

The LeBrons Aren’t Real Enough: Looky here, the Nuggs have Carmelo Anthony, Kenyon Martin and AI. That makes them *this* street (see where I’m holding my hand?). Cleveland, on the other hand, have Larry Hughes. And he was ejected with two lightning quick Ts. Keeping it real 1, Boobie Gibson 0.

Well, Jerry Sloan Isn’t As Good Looking: The Machine that is Andrei Kirilenko had a monster 15-8-8 and for some reason John Salmons took a lot of shots.

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While You Were Slapping: Heat Stop Bleeding November 12, 2007

Posted by TheHype in Unrelatedness , add a comment |

This nightly recap thingy won’t last very long, but I got insomnia and for some reason Sandra Bullock’s appearance of The Muppets Tonight came into my head (YouTube doesn’t have the sketch I’m referring to in the title, but this one is just as funny, oh childhood…)

Finally Ready To Takeoff: The Heat finally win one despite Dwyane Wade still away from the lineup. It’s a true sign of what the Miami Heat really are when they have a hard time taking out the Knicks without Zach Randolph. Now, win number 2 should come nicely in January 15th.

Don’t Mess With Texas: So I hear these Southwest division teams are good. They’re so good, they won’t even give sucky teams a chance to upset. Rockets and the Spurs shouldn’t even play sub 500 teams, ever really, why bother? 250 years ago if you told Texans that one day a Chinese, German AND French dude would be beloved in their state — wait don’t do that, you might get shot…

This Just In, Sonics Are Fun To Watch: But you don’t really think they’ll win night in and night out. Kevin Durant and Jeff Green are just flowing and it seems at times the perimeter lockdown players of Detroit can’t ever contain them. However, they’re overall offensive game needs some pointers. Case in point, the first quarter against the Pistons no one took a free throw. I mean that, like Joey Crawford handed them the ball to take the shots and they were like “um, nah, we’re cool”. Some strategy and patience kids.

Elsewheres: The Zards also get that monkey off their backs, by grilling it on the Hibachi… Hornets and Philly got together so that Chris Paul and Iggy could think of a way to play together one day.

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Late Morning Unrelatedness Linkin (Park) May 17, 2007

Posted by TheHype in 2007 Playoffs, Phoenix Suns, San Antonio Spurs , 9 comments |

Ughz. Last night’s game. Too tough to talk about man. I mean, the Suns could could’ve taken it, but really, coming into it, we were all bracing for a sad loss. Kurt Thomas, bless his triangularly shaped head and funky eyes, didn’t have enough air — can you blame the guy? He needed to play on both ends, perfectly. He did his best but Duncan… man, Duncan, when he retires, his statue should be the one where he’s falling, “pretending” to be unbalanced, and shooting with one hand banking it.

That said, I fully expect, and really BELIEVE the Suns can steal the SBC arena one. Stoudamire and Diaw back in action, rested— and still no Horry, I like those chances.

Okay, some random links for the hell of it

Although known as a rap/rock group, they hardly ever rap and rock on the same track on this album. The rap tracks sound like could easily be outtakes from Shinoda’s Fort Minor project, and the rock tracks sound much more subdued than their previous metal-infused rock.
Rating: 6.7/10

Yeah, listening to it is obvious it was a much different direction… one I’m not down with. I still like their rap/rock mixing genre where they just created a new sound every new single. I personally wish they’d do those. Ah, the agony of the artists’ mind: “trying new things” or just giving the fan base what they want..

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A Pictoral Recap of Last Night’s Games; and Blog Show is Bangin’ April 9, 2007

Posted by TheHype in Miami Heat, Phoenix Suns, Photoshopery, Toronto Raptors , 5 comments |

lebron-james.png

Pistons beat Cavaliers:

‘Twas a low scoring affair with Detroit seemingly in control the entire time (even though the game was close most of the game). Don’t be fooled by the fact that LeBron James had 20, 5, and 6, he wasn’t really a factor.

So, get it? I Wonder where LBJ was…… Yeaaaah…

ANYWAYS, if this is a preview of what’s to come in the playoffs, then I’m sorry Cavalier faithfuls, your boys aren’t bringing home the cash, money, hoes this June.

Special note of the game: I just love how crazy Sheed looks most of the time, he’s like a sub-atomic isotope—you just don’t know when it’ll blow up (that is what an isotope does right? ugh, chemistry professor hated me). It’s no wonder their team has the biggest blog followings in Need4Sheed (who’s getting a guest spot on NBA.com!) and Detroit Bad Boys.steve-nash.png

Phoenix beat LaL:

For some reason, this game should’ve been titled: The SMUSH Parker Episode. They couldn’t stop talking about him! Not that the commentary was good (they were talking about how he’s not on Phil Jackson’s good side because well—he truly sucks at his position for the Lakers) but OMG they could have at least not had the a Smush camera as well.

Kobe yet again had to shoulder the scoring, which is why I feel even if it’ll be a rematch of last year’s first round, the Suns would just dominate. The Lake Show just don’t have any type of defining chemistry out there (there I go with the science talk again) whereas Nash and Co. will burn them alive by inevitably running their thing.

Special note of the game: End of the first quarter, Dick Bavetta and the refs caught Kobe fouling RahRah with 0.3 seconds left on the clock. They caught this… on replay. So when they came back from commercials they actually replayed those 0.3 seconds left, and went straight into the 2nd QT. I don’t really mind the fact they replayed, but I’m just curious how soon will it be until replays will be used a lot dwayne-wade.pngmore.

Charlotte BoobieCats beat Miami:

I didn’t actually see this game, so I’ll just grab Ira Winderman’s game quotes:

– “At the end of the day, you always want to win, you always want to come back and help the team win,” Wade said. “At times, I looked OK, and at times I didn’t. They were coming at me and I had a lot of turnovers, missed a lot of free throws. But one thing about me, I won’t do that too often.”

- “I’m not going to do anything stupid. I wouldn’t have shot-faked like that on my left side,” he said. “I knew it was my strong side, my right side.”

– And yes, O’Neal left without comment again.

Oh Shaq! You mischief you.

Special note of the game: While this game was in progress, I believe I was having an apple. It was delicious.

Elsewhere…….for NBA fans everywhere that don’t know who to root for in the playoffs: T-Dot. Raptors were able to close to a Bulls team that weren’t taking the game lightly, fun team to watch……Philly ‘beat’ Atlanta, though when these two teams play, no one really wins……Houston over Kings, the Maloofs plan on opening a casino at the top of Yao’s head……

In other news:

Dan Steinzzzz and Jamie Mottzzzzz did Blog Show episode #Allen Iverson last Friday rounding up, and I counted, a zillion blogs. The Unrelatedness got a shoutout! HUZZAH! That spectacular ego-inflating tidbit aside, their show is getting pretty kickass, all we need now is some nekkid hobos in the background…

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CIS Tourney Day 1: We Lost. The End. March 17, 2007

Posted by TheHype in College Hoops, Unrelatedness , 3 comments |

Ugh, when you lose in a single elimination game, that’s when I think the format blows. (If we had won, I’d obviously think it was the greatest invention in the history of anything).

So… here’s some light recap (because really, losing sucks) whilst I fight off the Nova Scotian beer (possibly spiked) on the weekend of St. Paddy’s Day:

— our bus ride was a grand total of 15 hours. FIFTEEN HOURS. I hate people. And roads. And distance/time/space continuum.

— a little bit more on the bus ridez: there were random impromptu “get up and party for no real reason with cheersquad ladies” (could very well be cuz they’re purty)

— Overheard on the bus: “Hey, I’m just a white boy with a big mouf”

— okay game: Our team just never played up to their tempo and style. It sucks because 1) the entire season, in all the games they won (lost just once), they always had a plan B that won the game if plan C didn’t work. Like if exploiting the lowpost didn’t work, rain 3s all day. Or if the 3s aren’t dropping, the entire team got to the line. Today, we couldn’t even get Plan Z to work.

— the two best players, leaders of the team, in their last games as a collegiate player to try to get a national title were understandably down and didn’t want to talk….. imagine what it felt like trying to get them out of the lockerroom and ask them for their.. um.. “thoughts”

— Don’t you just hate it when the other team’s best scorer hit EVER.THING. he threw up and made you look like you were playing grade 3 defense? Yeah, I hate that too.

That pic above probably is the best moment of the team’s effort and expectations for this whole weekend. It was snapped just before the tip as you can tell. Crazy how just 40 minutes can drown out a season’s worth of highs and dreams… sighz and sadface emoticon… *not* looking forward to the 15hours back…

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Thursday Thumbtacks: Mavs vs. STEVE NASH and Etc. March 15, 2007

Posted by TheHype in 2007 Playoffs, Dallas Mavericks, Linkage, Phoenix Suns , 6 comments |

LET’S be completely; honest here. I have not seen every single NBA game this season, for that is un-possible. I have not seen every Suns game this season, for I live in a country that hates sunlight, loves hockey and apparently wants to “diversify” their NBA coverage beyond just one team (losers!). But, what does this is all mean in regards to last night’s Mavericks vs. Ph.X Suns tilt?

It was the best game of the regular season.

Nash shoots with his mind

Don’t care about that TripOT Nets/Suns score-gasm from while back — there wasn’t any noticeable defense (due to sick offense I know..) that made you as a fan jump up whenever a stop was made. Don’t care about anything other than knowing #1 and #2 weren’t budging one bit to show everyone and themselves that they are supreme.

From this entry’s title, one may think I’m giving the win to Nash solely, one is right. Steven Nash is awesome. STAT had a lot to do with the W as well, but hitting the 3 FTs (practically a gimme for him, but still); hitting the 3 to send to OT; drawing charges; making passes to Stoudamire’s kneecaps rah rah rah. He did it.

If Jesus came back to play ball for the Lakers and he saw game tape of Nash and how he runs the Suns, I’m quite sure He of Nazareth would say, “Ooooh heeeell no! I’m not competing against that! That’s some heavy dosage will-power son!”

Mavericks on the other hand, are also a thing to be admired. The roles of each player are so well defined that their machine has very little weakness. JeT knows exactly when to hit big buckets; J-Ho knows he can get fast points by beating any defenders and Dirk… well… you just don’t count him out, ever. That vicious Dirk Dunk, “Dir-unk”, shows just how tenacious he is now more than ever. Like, wanting to rip you skull off type tenacious.

Seeing those all those elements mash up into 4 quarters and 2 extra periods was pretty nifty.

It was the best game of the regular season…. until April 1st that is…

[Note: Okay, everything above was quite the exaggeration, as I wrote all that right after the game ended. Eh, I’m impulsive that way. But darn it if it wasn’t a fun game for all to be had (except, well, the Mav fans and Mark Cuban’s goatee)]

UNRELATEDNESS - short version: I am ROAD TRIPPin All Weekend; long version (basketball related): CLICK HERez

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NBA Toons: Sibling Rivalry + Rare Recaps December 16, 2006

Posted by TheHype in Houston Rockets, Memphis Grizzlies, NBA TOONS, Phoenix Suns, Toronto Raptors, Washington Wizards , 3 comments |

stabball.jpg

Great way to start a Saturday huh, with just a smidget of cartoon-y violence. I don’t get “The Wire” up here, but I imagine that’s exactly how things would’ve gone down.

The New/Old Ball-pocalypse may or not really be a done deal, so that leaves us with another anti-climatic cliffhanger until the full resolution comes next season. Get new writers Stern! But hopefully the above installment will be the last ep in the string of | various | appearances | around here. |

Of course, it’s no Orange Roundie..

The Allen Iverson Purgatory Watch: Day 9, but it feels like Year 9. T-Dot scrambled the phone lines to tell the world they have 3 Mil to throw into this clusterfu rotisserie of a trade.

Suns extend their winning streak to number One-Three! They’re so hot right now, Jack McCallum’s book is spontaneously combusting in bookstores everywhere!

Yao Ming brought out the Peking Duck, called his friendslego.jpg (NOT inviting McGrady though, understandable) for a Block Party! He got a career high 8 blocks with 6 of them in the first half alone. Not wanting to be outdone, Dikembe Mutombo remembered, “oh shit, I can do that too!” and added 3 of his own. Per usual, Deke waved his finger, injuring 12 courtside attendees, 3 in critical condition.

Then the Rockets blew a 21 pt lead but Yao’s 8th block (well, goaltend) was crucial since they were down 2 with sixty on the crickety. OT: Kobe vs. Yao, both had chance to shoot to win. Draw. DoubleOT: Rockets missed everything, Kobe made everything. Lakers win. Kobe 53-10-8. Yao’s 35-15-4 and the aforementioned 8 blocks looks so, so sad.

However, Ben Wallace scoffs at both those un-American chumps by Kirby-ing his career high 27 boards. That’s just one shy of the entire Bucks’ defensive rebounds. Twenty effin’ Seven!

Pau Gasol played last night for the first time since the summer. Stat line: 4pts in 17mins… and they lost. Grizzlies: no no no no no! You want to tank the season AND save your franchise guy, c’mon! Greg Oden is rolling in his grave.

And the Wizards finally beat the Heat after 3 and half years of being hexed. Or sucked. Possibly both.

Related: hot damn, a one of a kind magical blogger is reveales(!!!!) I gotta say that’s a sharp looking dude (no Rod Strickland homo) to go with the genius mind that came up with Wizznutzz.

Quick thought, they should start a site called GrizzNutzz… ehh? ehh? Okay, maybe not.

Btw, me done with them exam thinys. Huzzah!

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