Woah Woah Woah. Who Turned Off The Lights? February 6, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Miami Heat, Phoenix Suns, Trades , 1 comment so far |
I’m asking, because somehow, Steve Kerr got locked inside the toilet over the weekend someone and shut the lights on him. When he came out, disoriented, he said… “I need… [cough cough] I need… a limited edition movie poster of Gremlins… and oh yeah… [cough cough cough] Shaq”
WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!
Only three thing’s for sure:
1) Shaq looks horrible in orange
2) We haven’t played “Shaq” at optimum since we hacked NBA 2k4
3) The Stephen Colbert, Conan O’Brien and Jon Stewart festi-brawl was television orgasm.
Scenarios That Can Play Out Now:
The Dream Scenarios: File these under the same dreams as “getting a personal massage from Summer Glau and Autumn Reeser at the same time (hehehe Summer and Autumn…)”
• The Suns defeat the Spurs and is largely due to Shaq being the only person, er, object large enough to sustain Tim Duncan
• The Suns then meet the Lakers in the Western Conference Finals. But again, grand-papa Shaq knocks the Euro out of Gasol-ina and Kazaams the shit out of Andrew Bynum to make it a round-about-way final middle finger to the Lakers (even though every’s moved past this, but ESPN will remind us anyway)
• … that’s it
The Un-Dream Scenarios: File these next to Freddy Krueger’s hat
• Shaq can’t keep up to play more than 20mins a game, which, as the Suns lost Shawn Marion, is shitcakes
• So you lost an All-Star runner, 3 pointer and rebounder, but in return you got…someone that can share stories with Kerr about how to clean their Chip Rings.
• … that’s it… but really, can any of this be good?
The Legend Of Shawn Marion’s Jump Shot January 21, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Phoenix Suns, Photoshopery , 4 comments |
While I am/was watching the Suns beat/get beaten by the Nets (see, I totally published this ahead of time) … the age old question of Shawn Marion’s unique jump shot comes to mind. As long as it goes in, whatever right? WRONG. Well, not wrong, per se, but my mind’s wild imagination likes to know where else mind Matrix utilize his unique techniques:
At the nursery:
At the nuclear power plant:
And of course, how can you not think about — the Ice Planet Hoth:
Try to explain the West...
