Haphazard Live Blogging Warriors vs. Suns April 14, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Golden State Warriors, Live Blogging, Phoenix Suns , 2 comments |
In what seem to be a coincidental annual thing here, I’m live blogging an end of season game that means big bucks for the teams involved.
I really want the Beard to win. Let’s see how this baby flies shan’t we?
1st Q:
– So that we’re clear, the Warrior’s equipment manager totally messed with Melo’s breathaliser right?
– Thunder Dan got one too many thunder tans (ba da ching!)
– Shaq’s old and slow and fat and all that, but he can still intimidate a player to lose the ball as they go up for a shot (ahem Monta)
– Fact: this game already has 13 trillion layups
– Okay some tall guy not named Bierdrins just vaccumed Barbosa’s shot. I’d buy a ticket back to Brazil if that happened to me. Fuck it, I’d still want to go to Brazil regardless.
– Broadcast team hyping “planetorange.net” as a social network/blog community thingy…verdict: it’s ugly.
– Grant Hill wants to score really bad guys. Like, bad.
2nd Q:
– 33-30 with Pietrius getting the and1. Psst, it’s a little late for the MVP
– Diaw’s strategy tonight: get the ball from Hill, drive, pass it back to Hill (if Hill passes back to Diaw, he’ll still give it back)
– Uh, that going 90mph Grant Hill thing just kinda stopped short here…looks like he pulled something
– he’s still hanging around though, a good signage
– Ellis is a freak.
– Lemme clarify: Dude could be a leaner more explosive Chris Paul because he basically thought “hey, I want to get to point B and finish with [such and such] shot” and does it. HE’S A FREAKING GRASSHOPPER
– New place to get pen name if ever I move to Hollywood — the spam box: “Elywn Bartholomew”
– Oh, right: 65-52 with 2mins left in the half.
– I imagine as Nash threads another sick pass to a tomahawking Amare, Shaq gets up and cheers uproariously—until Brian Skinner whispers in his ear: “big fella, that wasn’t you…you’re still on the bench”. To which Shaq dies a little inside.
3rd Queue:
– Down 13, battling for their playoff (spot) lives and Baron isn’t on. WHAT UP?
– Ooooooh, so it’s a lane violation when Shaq hits a FT… haters.
– Act’n Jack’n wants to be a hero!! Yay my hero!! 78-73
– Related note: now, whenever I hit a 3 pointer at the gym, my mind will only mentally register it as 2 points, then the additional 1 will only come up along a SOUTHWEST AIRLINES ad.
– Grant Hill’s strained groin update, brought to you by SOUTHWEST AIRLINES
– Baron Davis’s ‘tude is upsetting Nellie’s beer belly, sponsored by SOUTHWEST AIRLINES
– SOUTHWEST AIRLINES SOUTHWEST AIRLINES SOUTHWEST AIRLINES SOUTHWEST AIRLINES SOUTHWEST AIRLINES SOUTHWEST AIRLINES SOUTHWEST AIRLINES
– 82-80 without BDiddy. Methinks this means that I have to start a sentence without “Methinks”
– 82-82!!
– STEPHEN JACKSON FOR VICE-PRESIDENT. Your call Obama.
– At this point, I’d just like this 94-86 3rd quarter end. Just like that. You know? Don’t want to spoil a good thing. Like that very sweet strawberry, once you had that, you don’t want another one that might not be quite as good.
4th Quail
– If someone doesn’t spontaneously combust in this last quarter then I’ll be a mad customer.
– Wow! Back to back plays with Shaq getting a perfect lob and then Pietrius answers back…yet the only thing feel more important is that cute girl next to the baseline camera man taking a sip of water.
– Telling that not only is Baron not in the game, but you can’t even see him with the rest of the players on the bench
– Apologies, 107-101 as Amare swims for a dunk.
– 109-107 as the Warriors need to out start Worrioring
– 109-109 and1 for STAT…Baron Baron Baron
– Oh.. oh oh..
– C’est finis…sucks that the Bay Area crowd can’t be hyphed in the postseason…
Stephen Jackson Is Totally Confused December 13, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Golden State Warriors, Referees , 3 comments |
Watch out Stephen! There are giant question signs
next to you!! Holy Shit!Action Jackson totally revamped his image after last year’s spectacular Warriors run, at least to me, I dunno about the rest of the world. The rest of the world being refs. Jack is just trying to do what he do you know? Drive in the lane with hot fire, and just lead the way with l’esprit! But that can’t happen if say, you get tossed out of a game… for which you don’t even know why:
“I’m still trying to figure out what’s considered a foul and what’s not considered a foul,” said Stephen Jackson, who drew a technical foul in the third quarter and fouled out in the fourth. “I need to read the players’ manual. I’m confused right now.”
“These days, when I get techs I don’t know if I did something or not,” Jackson said. “(It’s) based on how people perceive me, so I don’t even pay it no attention, man.”
Damn right! I’m not going to pay no attention to them neither! But I do see that perhaps, Stephen, we can help you out figuring out what’s considered a foul and what’s not considered a foul. I believe this is from Page 87 Quiz from the Player’s Manual on such matters, I hope it helps! Hey, the rest of you can play along too!
| 1. Throwing a ball into the crowd 2. Pushing the stanchion 3. Shoving an opponent during dead ball 4. Throwing a headband away 5. Screaming at a ref |
a. A tech, because you did it during commercial break, whereby viewers don’t get to it live. Shame on you b. Not a technical, but you’ll get a “I’m very very disappointed in you look” from one of the refs c. A tech, but only after video review, where the judges are toddlers d. An automatic Tech 3: the type where they’ll beat you will metal folding chairs, a la WWE. e. You get a red card, equivalent to 2 techs and a vanilla ice cream cone |
Leave your answers in the commentz sextion fools!
Monday Reviews: It’s GOOOOLden! April 22, 2007
Posted by TheHype in 2007 Playoffs, Dallas Mavericks, Golden State Warriors, Photoshopery , add a comment |
Uhh.. you know what.. scratch that.
- Oh my Vishnu. GS just won Game 1, of course, Warrior fans are… shall we say… ‘content?’
- Oh my Buddha. Nuggets won Game 1: A-game was brought-en
- Oh my Jesus’ second cousin, Wizards won Game 1! … okay, that was deceitful, sorry Bullez peeps
- *dun dun dun dun* Blog Show! *dun dun dun dun* Blog Show!
What to make of Sunday’s games? Simple, one word: irrelevency (not quite sure if that’s a word)
I fully expect the Spurs to win the next two, with Duncan properly installing the latest World of Warcraft patches reviewing game tape and give himself a Joey Crawford (did that sound dirty?) to mentally re-focus.
Wizards… uhh… yeah… build for next year…
The Dubs? I’m not falling for this “magical season” thing! No I will not…… I won’t… I… FINE fine I’ll start rooting for you now! Just please get Baron Davis’ beard out of my nightmares!
Don’t You DARE Say “Dump” In Front Of Stephen Jackson February 12, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Indiana Pacers, Outrageousness, Photoshopery , 2 comments |
Hot off the AP comes the newest in Stephen Jackson’s Epic - Why Carrying A Gun Is Pretty Much The Funnest Thing To Do In Indiana.
In that report Jackson says that he fired off shots to calm people down. Hell ya, if I’m in a room full of crying babies, the first thing I’d think of is to shoot 3 warning shots in the air to let those fools know who’s the boss - na’mean?
Anyways, here’s why he went a-bang-bang:
Jackson, who now plays for the Golden State Warriors, testified that when he was walking from the club to his car, a man approached him shouting, “Go ahead and dump, dump!”
“Where I’m from, ‘dump’ means pull out your gun and shoot,” he said.
He fired a couple of shots in the air to break up the brawl that ensued, he said.
“It was like an all-out brawl,” he said. “I started seeing more and more faces I didn’t know.”
“Faces you didn’t know?” Oh, now you’re adding “short-term amnesia” to the defense huh?? Technicalities my ass. And really, are you implying that some guy dared you to pull out your gun and you went ahead and did so because you need to keep it real?
But wait, there’s more. The person that ran a car into Jackson declined to show up in court and instead had a lawyer speak on his behalf:
“Mr. Willford [dude that drove into Jax --TheHype], in fear of his life, in fear of his cousin’s life, does what the average reasonable person would have done,” Mendez [lawyer for said dude --TheHype] said.
I dunno about that man. According to your story, if someone shot a few rounds into the air in front of me while I was still in the car, I’d hightail the fuck outta here—not committing premature manslaughter. But that’s just silly ol’ me, thinking that CAR > Person.. the again.. it’s Stephen Jackson.. he’s pretty much indestructable (*not scientifically proven…yet)
The funniest thing though (bet you didn’t think something would top that) is: the AP writer is yet another T-Murph!
Random Tidbit…
Psst, I added a lil’ new box thingy on the sidebar that’s under “Top Posts” as a Link Highlight of The Day called Tic Tacs, check out the first link - Carnival of the NBA
