What’d I Give For… The Phoenix Suns To Win It All April 28, 2008
Posted by TheHype in 2008 Playoffs, Phoenix Suns, San Antonio Spurs , 5 comments |
Oh hello there friends. It’s me. Hypey. It’s time I write down some words. This timez, it’s about all the what/ifs happening on the playoff battle arena right now.
As a basketball lover, it pains me to admit with deep regret that I haven’t watched much of the Suns/Spurs deathmatch. You know how I feel about this series. Hell, you know how I felt about this series since the beginning of the season.
What can I say, for the (almost) two years I’ve been keeping down this blog-ish, it’s been wonderous—seeing all the different other maniacs (re: bloggers and fans) come out of the woodwork and get “it”. That “it” meaning the Suns really should be in the Finals because of either Steve Nash’s bliss or Mike D’Antoni’s s’tache or even embracing the joy that is having SHAQ of all people on your side.
Alas, things with me are changing, perspectives and directions are going in different paths that I couldn’t have imagined yet at the same time it was predicted (translation: “life”). The same goes for the Phoenix Suns.
You couldn’t have imagined that they’d be down 0-3. But still, it was the Spurs they were facing. Who else would give them the proper pressure? Yeah, they got 1 win now, but who’s to say in the next 24hrs they have an altering experience that renders them completely changed at the molecular level. Hell yeah I’m implying they might turn into the X-Men.
In the spirit of hoping they do something special, this is what I would give for the Suns to win it all, be the first team down three games to none and win the series:
– give up on kicking innocent puppies
– giving up on eating badly and eat more veggies
– give up my mutant first-born
– give up to Prince, completely (I mean, I’m like a whatever music guy, but Prince + Creep? that shit is hot)
– and most importantly: see Iron Man
Haphazard Live Blogging Warriors vs. Suns April 14, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Golden State Warriors, Live Blogging, Phoenix Suns , 2 comments |
In what seem to be a coincidental annual thing here, I’m live blogging an end of season game that means big bucks for the teams involved.
I really want the Beard to win. Let’s see how this baby flies shan’t we?
1st Q:
– So that we’re clear, the Warrior’s equipment manager totally messed with Melo’s breathaliser right?
– Thunder Dan got one too many thunder tans (ba da ching!)
– Shaq’s old and slow and fat and all that, but he can still intimidate a player to lose the ball as they go up for a shot (ahem Monta)
– Fact: this game already has 13 trillion layups
– Okay some tall guy not named Bierdrins just vaccumed Barbosa’s shot. I’d buy a ticket back to Brazil if that happened to me. Fuck it, I’d still want to go to Brazil regardless.
– Broadcast team hyping “planetorange.net” as a social network/blog community thingy…verdict: it’s ugly.
– Grant Hill wants to score really bad guys. Like, bad.
2nd Q:
– 33-30 with Pietrius getting the and1. Psst, it’s a little late for the MVP
– Diaw’s strategy tonight: get the ball from Hill, drive, pass it back to Hill (if Hill passes back to Diaw, he’ll still give it back)
– Uh, that going 90mph Grant Hill thing just kinda stopped short here…looks like he pulled something
– he’s still hanging around though, a good signage
– Ellis is a freak.
– Lemme clarify: Dude could be a leaner more explosive Chris Paul because he basically thought “hey, I want to get to point B and finish with [such and such] shot” and does it. HE’S A FREAKING GRASSHOPPER
– New place to get pen name if ever I move to Hollywood — the spam box: “Elywn Bartholomew”
– Oh, right: 65-52 with 2mins left in the half.
– I imagine as Nash threads another sick pass to a tomahawking Amare, Shaq gets up and cheers uproariously—until Brian Skinner whispers in his ear: “big fella, that wasn’t you…you’re still on the bench”. To which Shaq dies a little inside.
3rd Queue:
– Down 13, battling for their playoff (spot) lives and Baron isn’t on. WHAT UP?
– Ooooooh, so it’s a lane violation when Shaq hits a FT… haters.
– Act’n Jack’n wants to be a hero!! Yay my hero!! 78-73
– Related note: now, whenever I hit a 3 pointer at the gym, my mind will only mentally register it as 2 points, then the additional 1 will only come up along a SOUTHWEST AIRLINES ad.
– Grant Hill’s strained groin update, brought to you by SOUTHWEST AIRLINES
– Baron Davis’s ‘tude is upsetting Nellie’s beer belly, sponsored by SOUTHWEST AIRLINES
– SOUTHWEST AIRLINES SOUTHWEST AIRLINES SOUTHWEST AIRLINES SOUTHWEST AIRLINES SOUTHWEST AIRLINES SOUTHWEST AIRLINES SOUTHWEST AIRLINES
– 82-80 without BDiddy. Methinks this means that I have to start a sentence without “Methinks”
– 82-82!!
– STEPHEN JACKSON FOR VICE-PRESIDENT. Your call Obama.
– At this point, I’d just like this 94-86 3rd quarter end. Just like that. You know? Don’t want to spoil a good thing. Like that very sweet strawberry, once you had that, you don’t want another one that might not be quite as good.
4th Quail
– If someone doesn’t spontaneously combust in this last quarter then I’ll be a mad customer.
– Wow! Back to back plays with Shaq getting a perfect lob and then Pietrius answers back…yet the only thing feel more important is that cute girl next to the baseline camera man taking a sip of water.
– Telling that not only is Baron not in the game, but you can’t even see him with the rest of the players on the bench
– Apologies, 107-101 as Amare swims for a dunk.
– 109-107 as the Warriors need to out start Worrioring
– 109-109 and1 for STAT…Baron Baron Baron
– Oh.. oh oh..
– C’est finis…sucks that the Bay Area crowd can’t be hyphed in the postseason…
Things To Look For Tonight: Phoenix vs. Suns February 20, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Los Angeles Lakers, Phoenix Suns , add a comment |
Shaq’s smiles for the cameras … as the action is
happening on the other end of the floorThe REAL Superman is back tonight. And fighting his old stomping grounds of the LA Lakers now as a Sun. It’s poetry is what it is.
If only Bynum is in this as well, then we’d get our money’s worth of a smackdown for the ages. God I hope to … er, god, that they match up in the Playoffs.
Here’s what you need to look out for in tonight’s game (because I won’t be watching: seriously, I’m gonna be at a pickup game… pfft, don’t look at me that way! Those legs aren’t going to work out themselves!)
* That puke you see in front of you as you see Shaq check in? That’s the realization at how ugly he looks in a PHX jersey
* Kobe will distribute like crazy up until the 3rd… that’s when he’ll want to dunk on Shaq’s nose everytime
* Nash will throw an alley-oop to Shaq in the same way as he always have for Shawn Marion — but it goes horribly wrong: Shaq totally forgot what a dunk is… and just throws it at security guard
* For once, Phil Jackson will look animated, but that could be the constipation
* For once, Mike D’Antoni will look calm and reserved, even Zen-like—oops sorry, the camera was still on Phil, ESPN just put up the wrong name caption
* Hubie Brown will say: “NOW, the ref saw it differently…” which totally means “fucking dumbass call”
* Finally, I will have blown a breakaway layup and get taunted by my teammates. It’s uncanny.
This Just In: Steve Nash Can’t Rock The Headband January 4, 2008
Posted by TheHype in Culture/Fashion/Style, Phoenix Suns , 3 comments |
Steven Nash, the guy who dribbles for the Phoenix Suns is seen here on the left of your screen, MY right — wait, no, my left as well.
OK.
So he looks like a doofus here is really what I’m aiming the entire post to be. But on a related tip, they murked the Sonics by coming back strong after being down a bunch. Which is important to somebody somewhere seeing that it’s the Sonics and we’re just 4 days into January.
Elsewheres, there’s a fun NBA Blogger All-Star voting thing at Hardwood Paroxysm. It’s “fun” because I have a nomination (SEE MOTHER!) and though the category I’m in makes it’s 100% impossible for me to upset the other noms, I’ll just go ahead and dream that I’m the winner already.
If you feel you can make that dream come true, please, by all means, place a vote or 20. No shame here… only vanity.
I Want A 50 Game Playoff Series Between Suns-Spurs Now December 18, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Phoenix Suns, Photoshopery, San Antonio Spurs , add a comment |
Begone rest of the regular season minutiae games. Please, no need for trivialities. Last night’s Suns/Spurs battle shows what top tier basketball looks like (you paying attention Dallas?) and if you’re telling me we need another 4 months until it really counts — then you and I can’t share an ice cream cone together later today. Yeah, it’s like that.
Grant Hill, bless his elephant ears, for he is the Decidor. Last night, you saw him do damage beating opponents off the dribble, taking timely shots and just doing things. Whenever the Suns were at a lost on offense, it’s when the creativity breaks down, either when Steve Nash is on the bench or they just can’t find the 3 point netting. Grant Hill is doing this season what the Suns wanted Boris Diaw to do last season. I guess now they have two. Yay!
On the Spurs side, they probably would’ve won that game had Tony The Bastard Parker played. Tim Duncan was unstoppable and was going to win the game for them, but with Tony, it adds to the defensive pressure that the Suns don’t have an answer for. Jacque Vince Vaughn made enough shots to not get shot in the ass by Pop, but he doesn’t cave in the defense like Tony does. Manu, The Shadow Killer, had a okay night with 18pts, but his presence was not felt the GINOBILI! way. He made clutch shots, but as a whole, Suns didn’t seem to worry about him that much.
One thing that was interesting in this regular season game, which I’m not sure if it was on purpose or not, but Popovich didn’t use the tactic of making Nash a scorer. Perhaps D’Antoni and Co. finally found a counter, but it seemed like they let Steve direct traffic for this one game. Sure the whole thing could be mind games, when the Spurs will turn on the clamps when it really counts.
I’m going to sleep, wake me up in April.
Can-Je Will Free Us Of Our Basketball Sins October 29, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Linkage , 1 comment so far |
This is… beyond any necessary words. Seriously. Rasheed channels Bruce Campbell (Ballhype YT version)
Nick Young ladies and germs, he can fly-y-yyyy (Bullets FOR Evan… no wait– Bullets Forever)
Nash is the Canadian Jesus? The hell? There are different ones for different countries? (Fear the Beard)
Jay-Z tracks leaketh on them nets (MYMHH via ShowHype)
Where You Can See A Slow-Mo Crotch Shot of Steve Nash… August 7, 2007
Posted by TheHype in TV Shows, Videos , 1 comment so far |
First comment on the following Nike ad campaign over at YouTube: “LT owns you and your family and the world and all of everything ever in existence.” Hopefully he owns my washing machine too, because that bitch needs fixing and I can’t spare the dough yo.
(chapeau-tip to Sports Business Radio)
Steve Nash Is Omnipresent July 18, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Outrageousness, Phoenix Suns, Photoshopery , add a comment |
Steve Nash is a simple kid really. He enjoys sports, loves to compete and has a fascination with grunge hairstyles. He doesn’t really show off any kind of “flash” per se, only when they’re on court dishes. He’s just your everyday lad doing everyday things.You ever wonder just how he’s able to pull it all off? Well, I have the answer: he can teleport.
There, I said it. I revealed his secret. I kind of feel dirty now… it’s like revealing a magician’s act (you know, that they actually kill the help girls, that’s why we never see them again… creepy…)
Well, via AZsportsHUB, we find out that Nashy is seemingly everywhere, AT THE EXACT SAME TIME:
- Stalking Steve Nash has never been easier. Especially due to our favorite celebrity stalking site, Gawker Stalker. Not sure how Steve is popping up in both New York City and Vancouver all in the same week, but we suppose that anything is possible!Steve Nash on his skateboard. He was riding along observing the street scene when I did a double take and gave him a thumbs up - he smiled and gave me a thumbs up back.
Ah, Gawker Stalker, the most reliable and credible system of Stalk if I ever saw one.
Because fuck the press release about him being in Vancouver opening his new sports facility the same week right? That’s totally fake and made up son. Or, of course, dude has time to do a frontside, fakie, 50-50 olie in NYC and then fly back to VanCity to do a silly grand opening. Simple logic.
Stalking Steve Nash [AZ Sports Hub]
Gawker Stalker [Gawker]
Steve Nash to officially open his new sports club July 19th [Press Release]
“Nashy! Nashy!” May 29, 2007
Posted by TheHype in Dallas Mavericks, Phoenix Suns , add a comment |
Ah, completely by accident, I swear, I stumbled on the holy grail that is NowitzkiChannel, where MavsMoneyball featured a clip of Dirk goofing off. Here is another where I believe Dirk is probably just a funny guy to hang out with, just listen to him:
“What is he doing?” C’mon tell me that isn’t so Napoleon Dynamite-esque. But true that, what was he doing (mind you, Steven Hunter was on that PHX clip… meaning this was like 3 years ago…)
Suns, Spurs Game 6: DEATHMATCH May 18, 2007
Posted by TheHype in 2007 Playoffs, Live Blogging, Phoenix Suns, Photoshopery, San Antonio Spurs , 2 comments |
So, throwing this baby up as the Nets are stinkin’ up the joint… I can’t believe LeBron’s going to the Conference Finals in the dullest way imaginable. The Cavs lead by 15 right now at halftime… yeah right Bron gives this up… Alright, please, leave any comments, voodoo chants or game insights for the upcoming Game 6 in a few hours (or you can talk about the the rest of the Cavs/Nets game…BWAHAaahahha.. riiiight..)
– So LeBron is actually very good… when he fuckin gives half a crap. Great job guys, would ya do us a favor and give the world something to care about in the Conference Finals against the Pistons? Thanks! Hugs & Kisses xoxox
– FREE JEFFREY VAN GUNDY! Seriously tho… must be awk-ward this morning with the ESPN guys prepping up right…?
MIKE BREEN: (reading the news that Jeff’s fired) Oh no… oh.. no… ohno ohno ononononononono!
JVG: What is it Breeny?
MB: uhhh… how can I say this… um… Hrm… Okay… when one parent doesn’t love the other…
JVG: The fuck are you talking about Mike?
MB: … I love you
JVG: WHAT?!?
MB: I mean I mean I mean… you got canned man
JVG: oh.. yheah, seen that shit coming, no biggie — you don’t think I knew that when I agreed to come on with you dumbbells?
(exeunt)
5-4: STAT picks up his first foul already…. this is gonna be tough
8:45: okay I’m switching back to “time” format rather than score, because there’s no way knowing who’s who… anyways… right now I can’t tell which voice is Jeff’s and which one’s Jon Barry’s. 7-7
5:51: Nice to see both teams are “on”. Don’t want no dud game yo. I wonder when they’ll talk about Jeff’s fired ass? Cooooome oooon, talk about it already!
3:37: Barbosa gets a good strong layup/banker, a steal and also going up strong.. that’ll dust off any Game 5 Brazilian funk, also known as Sao Paolo SuckFest. Meanwhile Stoudamire is looking nice on offence and active on D
– I feel JVG is commentary-mic hogging, bastard! But he’s good, breaking down plays, 21-19 for PHX
– YAY, they get to talk about *feelings*! About Van Gundy’s pink-slip. Damn, Mike Breen is impressive… big chaos plays going on and Breen is STILL able to question Jeff and call the play by play!
– End of first and we’re all tied up at 23… the pace obviously isn’t PHX’s but Spurs won’t let that happen anyway. Clickey to read on..
Try to explain the West...
