What’d I Give For… The Zards Beheading The King; Rockets To Fly; And Hawks Warrioring The Celtics May 2, 2008
Posted by TheHype in 2008 Playoffs, Atlanta Hawks, Boston Celtics, Cleveland Cavaliers, Houston Rockets, TV Shows, Utah Jazz, Washington Wizards , 1 comment so far |
Listen kids, back in the year 2008, there were these great Eastern Conference first round match ups that took everyone by surprise. Your uncle Barney made legendary bet that if LeBron James AND Kevin Garnett did not make it to the second round, he would hit on Doris Burke.
Now, believe it or not, back before you kids had the ANBCBSPNNFOX sports network that you have today, there was this amazing network called TNT — where they had crappy original shows but for unexplained reasons, their NBA coverage surpasses every single sports show about any sports.
Let’s bring you up to speed: May 2nd, 2008. The Washington Wizards’ legion of fans versus Cleveland’s royalty. Of course LeBron was the easy choice to plow through a measly opponent like the Wizards… as their key stars are just trying to recover while a great role player is invoking a rap war over the hardwood floor.
But you obviously have not been reading up on their mystique (not the WNBA team). This is a team that will do magnificiant damage in the realms of the unseen. This is a team that shall unequivocally push their limits as a collective onto an undeserving royal. They will rise up and make it game seven…because I’m really needing the points in my playoff point.
Undeniably, I’ve been a T-Mac fan 4 lifez. Part of the enduring love and frustration for rooting a marvel such as he is not seeing his failure in the first round exits. Nay. It is our own unfulfilled expectations of superiority for a beast that cannot be defined—Darwin couldn’t draw shit like this.
If it were up to the 12 Gods of Kobol, T-Mac would’ve been ostracized long ago into Cylon kingdom. He’s not one of the pure NBA great. His storyline never changes. Worst of all, he keeps an arsenal of power that will only come out to attack when you least, and inconsequentially, expected. He is a frakking toaster.
But I still root for the guy. Because through his sideway eyes I see myself. One that was destined for greatness but for some reason our GPS gadget broke. We’re in perpetual lost-hood. Until we crawl ourselves out of the cave, there is but one option: faith in the unknown. That is the legend of the right shoulder vein.
As for the old soul Hawks versus the old old Celtics. It will make my heart warm up like the south if Atlanta maintains their idealism by flipping the script. No one gave them a single game. Yet Joe Johnson came to cross up that delusion (what up Leon Powe) by reminding the world he was once untouchable as an original mover of the ‘05 Phoenix Suns team. Let them pass and the world will be in total order. Chaos will be Boston’s street name.
A Phone Call With KG & T-Mac May 6, 2007
Posted by TheHype in 2007 Playoffs, Houston Rockets, Injuries, Minnesota Timberwoves, Utah Jazz , 3 comments |
May 5th: Houston Rockets got edged out by Utah Jazz in the 1st Round of the 2007 Playoffs. It is also T-Mac’s millionth early exit… making his fans (whoever’s still openly admits to being one) very sad all over again. The following is the transcript of a phone call that we at the Unrelatedness obtained through illegal wiretap “special” ways:
[*riiiiiiiiiing……riiiiiiiiing*]
*whimper* Ahhhh. *sigh*
[*riiiiiiiiiing……riiiiiiiiing*—click—phone picked up]
uh… he… hello?
YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO
um… KG, that you…?
Look man, I just wanted to say: I’ve been there. It’s NOT YOUR FAULT.
[off to the side] I know.
Listen to me, it’s not your fault.
[serious] I know.
No you don’t, it’s not your fault.
Fuck man. Kev, for that last time, stop that Good Will Hunting shit! I think you have a problem.
…
[…]
I’m… I’m sorry… it was on TV last night… um.. talk to you later?
Whatever. You’re such a geek sometimes.
Yao & T-Mac On Jimmy Kimmel (In Case You Missed It) December 24, 2006
Posted by TheHype in Houston Rockets, Videos , 3 comments |
I taped this unprecedented, earth shattering, event the other night and thought it was quite amusing, (see the other day’s post about their adventure)
I couldn’t find a copy on YouTube so I took the liberté and uploaded it myself—which explains the godawful capture quality (sorry folks, still using archaic transferring technologies…hey you got some free MacBooks lying around, hooks me up yo!)
Anyways, enjoy thy goodie on this sad 24th of December where no NBA game is played, before the SternBot and/or ABC monkeys sends out Sentinels to eviscerate my vid.. snif.. 
Yao On Jimmel Kimmel Friday, Possibly Chugging December 20, 2006
Posted by TheHype in Houston Rockets, Photoshopery , 4 comments |
You gotta read the CHRONIC!cle article about Yao and McGrady’s late night television appearance taped Monday, tons of great quotes, my fav:
McGrady is told of the Yao video making the rounds on the Internet in which he makes a tough jumper, then is seen shouting, “You can’t (expletive) stop me!”
“No!” McGrady shouts, falling back in his seat. “He didn’t say that! You said that, big fella? What did you say? What did you say? What did you say? Say it now.”
With Yao laughing too hard to answer, McGrady realizes why Yao won’t tell him.
“Wait a minute,” McGrady says. “You said it in English? The same game you beat your chest? Oh, that’s great.”
In case, here’s the vid. I must ponder over the social ramifications of this, assuming YouTube isn’t blocked in China. Yao’s the shit over there, so Chinese ballers that watched it will now have a new found appreciation for el “swagger”. This is good, because I really want their smack talk lexicon to go from, “hello, I will score on you, sir” to “I will f^&*%king eat your babies bitch!!”
Oh btw: HELL YES!!
Mac’s Anatomy December 12, 2006
Posted by TheHype in Houston Rockets, Photoshopery , 7 comments |
As in, Tracy McGrady’s un-freakin-believable back is at it again.
Look, Tracy, um, TMac, wait wait…TeeDawg, you and me dude, we’re friends right? Remember when you started blowing up in Orlando, throwing off the glass alleys to yourself? Good times right? I was there with you the whole time man, vouching for your legitimacy, having serious fights (psychologically and physically) with friends debating who’s better: AI or you (which looking at it now… you both seem like jerks).
When others feel you’re made of glass for all of last year, I still had that glimmer of hope, “nah, T-Cuz is gonna be sick, I can feel it” So much so that I took you on my Fantasy team. Now you’re out again, for the year?! How DARE you. You know what man? It’s over with us. Yeah, I’m breaking up with you. It’s not ME, it’s YOU. Don’t bother coming back, I’m changing the locks.
Yes, yes, I know you’re a human being and you have an actual ailment. But when it comes to messing my first try at playing fantasy? All bets are off buddy!
hugs & kisses
xoxoxo,
TheHype
(Sorry if this wasn’t either a post about Iverson or the basketball change. It’s not that I’m snobby like that, but really just because I can’t contribute to those items rationally. I mean, you really want me to say Iverson should swap with Luke Ridnour?)
Here’s some ARM PORN for y’all:
T-Mac Is Ready To Battle October 7, 2006
Posted by TheHype in 06/07 Season Previews, Houston Rockets, NBA TOONS , add a comment |
On a quiet Saturday mid-afternoon, the Rockets’ bite-sized preview is up (not to mention low in calories). Not much to add to the discussion other than DAAAMMN, the Southwest Division is tough. Good luck to Tracy and Yao because I like their team, but Wins won’t come cheap for them.
I Don’t Think That’s T-Mac September 24, 2006
Posted by TheHype in Photoshopery , add a comment |
NBA Live 07 just released their Top Bananas players ratings concocted from, and I quote from my sources: “dark voodoo”. You can check out the whole list here if you really need to know who is #131 (I know I can’t wait!).
But what’s really interesting is #4, Tracy McGrady. He is in such a zone nowadays that he decided to morph into another player completely, check it out:
Kudos to TBJ for steering me to this find, because seriously, the picture confused me so much that it accidentally made me drunk.
It’s Time For: YouTube Tuesday! Wee! September 5, 2006
Posted by TheHype in Videos , add a comment |
So there’s “news” that our main man David Wesley got signed to the Cavaliers (just a matter of time until YAY! puts their patented spin on this)
(D-Wes isn’t really my main man, I just really want to use that dumb phrase once in my lifetime.)
It’s always great to have Wesley’s name come up so that we here at the Unrelatedness Factor can whip out the beautiful montage of:
Just in case you haven’t seen it the first 3000 times.
And here’s one with the always amazing Dikembe Mutombo schooling T-Mac at using chopsticks. Let me just say, that’s EXACTLY how it’s like to teach your friends how to use chopsticks, even when you taught them the other 3 times at a Chinese restaurant.. UN-believable.
“Oh that’s horrrrrrible!”
To be honest, I only added that Deke’s video only because I couldn’t find his appearance on Regis and Kelly yesterday. If one of my eagles out here has it, pleeeease holla at me. Girl.
Try to explain the West...
